


The Dragon's Queen

by JoTerry



Category: Bleach
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-17
Updated: 2019-05-30
Packaged: 2020-01-15 11:03:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 23
Words: 78,209
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18497626
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JoTerry/pseuds/JoTerry
Summary: Happens after the post-TYBW reunion, with flashbacks between the ten-year skip. Please read the author's note at the beginning of Chapter 1 before you proceed further.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This fic has been hiding in my Google Docs for a year. I have not submitted anything on FFnet since Of Desires, Dreams, and Nightmares so I thought I'd put one up on 1 February 2018 because it was my birthday.
> 
> If you've been following me, you'd know that IchiRuki is my OTP. But this fic was written at a time when I was really pissed off about the manga ending, and - this may sound quite illogical - also at Kurosaki Ichigo's character. So I started toying with a few ideas about other male characters of Bleach who would've deserved our Queen better than Ichigo. Among them, were Hitsugaya Toushiro, Hisagi Shuuhei, Grimmjow Jaegerjagues, and Ishida Uryuu. That's how this fic came about. I have to admit that at the time this fic was written, I had every intention of making this strictly IshiRuki. But as I read it through again, and being more forgiving of Ichigo's character a year later, I can see that there are other possible ways for me to expand this. If you're an IchiRuki shipper and you're willing to journey with me without knowing where this will take us (IR ending or not), come aboard. Otherwise, I'd advise you to skip this and read my older fics. Please don't think that I do not ship IR anymore. I still do. And I can assure you that I'll take it with me to my grave. But this fic is written from the POVs of Kuchiki Rukia and Ishida Uryuu.

****_ “Do you, Kurosaki Ichigo, take this woman, Inoue Orihime, as your lawfully wedded wife?” the priest asks.  _

_ It’s the usual matrimonial ceremony dialogue, isn’t it? Any groom who’s prepared for this auspicious day should know what’s coming, should expect the question, and should already have the answer at the tip of his tongue. Shouldn’t he? _

_ Obviously -- to those who are observant enough, that is, Kurosaki Ichigo isn’t one such prepared groom. There is silence in the entire chapel after the priest verbalised that scripted procedure. You could even hear a pin drop.  _

_ Standing behind Inoue, as her maid of honour, Kuchiki Rukia hears the orange-haired former Shinigami swallow. Yes, her keen ears catch his gulp. Her violet orbs widen discreetly at the movement of his Adam’s apple.  _

The fucking Strawberry had better not screw this up, _ she thinks before narrowing her eyes at him. She hopes no one else notices it but right after that question, Ichigo has a look of alarm as his gaze shifts towards her instead of his beautiful bride that’s standing not one foot in front of him. She sends him a ‘Stop looking at me’ glare, causing him to wince a little before he turns his attention back to Inoue..  _

_ Rukia cannot see the human girl’s expression from where she is standing. And she does not want to see it if hurt is written all over her face. The petite  _ fukutaichou _ of the 13th Division has warned Ichigo about this. Despite it being a stupid mistake, he  _ has _ to take responsibility for the baby in Inoue’s womb.  _

_ “Kurosaki- _ san _.” _

_ Ichigo blinks when he hears the priest’s voice again. Heaving a long sigh, he stammers, “I do.” _

_ From that moment on, Rukia never shares an eye contact with him anymore, especially when he always tries to look at her pleadingly. He is someone else’s husband and she has no intention of hanging around any longer because she knows she will be a huge distraction to Ichigo. They both have to move on. The only reason why she is here today is because Inoue has asked her to fill that special role. _

_ After the ceremony, Rukia attends the reception as a show of her face for 15 minutes before she disappears to Soul Society for a long time. _

* * *

 

Turning his wrist, Ishida Uryuu pulls up the sleeve of his shirt to check the time. His second shift has ended two hours ago and he has been in the hospital for the past 30 hours. Despite having been chided by the senior nurses on duty for ‘nesting’ in the hospital since the end of his first shift, he still does not feel like going back to his miserably cold and empty apartment. The hospital, to him, is ironically more vibrant with life compared to his home.

“Please rest, Yakimura- _ san.  _ I’ll check up on you again tomorrow,” he tells the 89-year old man on the hospital cot he is attending to. He uses the tone he would use to speak to a child. It’s funny how the mental ability of a human reverts to its childlike state the older one gets. “I promise you can go home if you’re better.”

The patient surprises Ishida when he lets out a scoff. “Why would I want to go home? There’s no one there. It’s always so lonely,” he says, sinking deeper into the uncomfortable mattress as he turns to face away from the doctor before pulling the covers up to his chin. 

Ishida stares at the back of the man’s head for a moment before he leaves the hospital room without a sound.  _ That makes two of us, _ he agrees mentally. 

Ishida is almost disappointed when nobody stops him or pages him on the way to the locker room. He always wishes there were more work to do, more share of patients to attend to, and more time spent under bigger piles of work. He truly does not want to go home. If he had a choice, he would’ve moved into the hospital. The apartment is a waste of money, a waste of vacant space, and a waste of travelling time. Why  _ would _ anyone want to go home to an empty house?

Taking his time, he goes into one of the shower stalls to thoroughly scrub himself clean. It is more to kill time than anything. The only thing he can do when he gets home is sleep, anyway. And that is something he has had trouble doing since the Quincy war. No matter how tired he gets, he can only sleep for a maximum of three hours every day. And he hates closing his eyes. Because every time he does, images of death come to haunt him. His mother, his grandfather, the Sternritters, and even Yhwach. 

The young doctor looks at himself in the tiny mirror on his locker door as he gets dressed in a polo shirt and a pair of Dockers. There are dark shadows under his bloodshot eyes. 

_ “You need to get that insomnia fixed before it turns into a psychiatric problem, Ishida- _ sensei _ ,”  _ one of the midwives from the maternity ward tells him whenever they bump into each at the cafeteria. 

Slipping into his boat shoes, the doctor sighs as he retrieves his backpack from the locker shelf and shuts the metal door. Going crazy is the least of his worries right now. What bugs him is that he finds absolutely no purpose in his life. He does not even know why he has to continue living. Every day, he moves like a goddamn robot, going through the rhythm that has not once changed since he started working at the hospital. 

Ten years ago, he came back from Soul Society with a new set of resolutions after avenging his mother. He would start anew, put his Quincy power to sleep because he no longer needs it and he doesn’t want to interfere with the soul governance anymore. That is the job of the Shinigami. 

He never thought he would be a doctor. He never  _ wanted _ to be a doctor. So he went to the same University as the woman he wanted to date but did not have the courage to tell her. He took the same culinary art classes as she did despite his father’s warning about not paying for his fees if he didn’t take up medicine. Two years later, he finally asked her out… only for his heart to shatter into pieces because  _ “I’m sorry, Ishida- _ kun _ , but I’m still very much in love with Kurosaki- _ kun _.” _

After all the fucking years, Kurosaki wouldn’t even spare Inoue Orihime a second glance and still she was ‘very much in love with Kurosaki- _ kun _ ’. The orange-haired arsehole was still brooding over the fact that he and Kuchiki Rukia were separated yet again because he lost all his powers  _ yet again _ after defeating Yhwach. It’d been two years and Kurosaki  _ still _ couldn’t get over Kuchiki,  _ still _ couldn’t understand why he and Kuchiki always came so close to being together only for fate to tear them apart, time and time again. 

Ishida is pissed off at how their destinies are fooling around with them and he suspects that it is Yhwach’s plan all along. He suspects that the Quincy with ‘The Almighty’ power had already stepped into their future to change it before they killed him. The dark-haired man curses at the stupid merry-go-round the bastard put them in: him going after Inoue who was in love with Kurosaki who was damn convinced that Kuchiki held the same red string of fate he was holding. 

It’s all so fucked up.  _ Congratulations, Yhwach. You’ve won,  _ he spits mentally.  _ You could’ve just ended our lives right there and then but you found a better way to take us down. Well, fuck you, too! _

Following the devastating rejection, Ishida took up his father’s offer to enroll him into a medical school. Three years later, he found out that, in an attempt to comfort a pissed drunk Kurosaki (who still couldn’t get over Kuchiki), Inoue had gotten pregnant with the orange-haired man’s baby. The day the test turned out positive was ironically also the same day the Shinigami were allowed to return to the world of the living. Kurosaki drove his fists into the wall several times. (Ishida was unfortunately the one who had to fix those bloody knuckles for him.) 

Kuchiki - thank  _ Kami _ , she’s a trained noble heiress - held her composure as she forbade Kurosaki from backing out of his responsibility just because she was back into his life again. She insisted that the former Shinigami did what was right: marry Inoue, and be the husband and father he was meant to be. Of course, he relented eventually, albeit with the heaviest of heart. No one defies Kuchiki Rukia. 

The boy is five years old. It’s been five years and still Ishida wakes up every day hoping that it is all a bad dream that his crush is married to his cousin and they have a child together -- every single process aforementioned happened unwillingly. As soon as he realises it isn’t a dream, he curses his own life. He had a plan when he first stepped foot back into the real world after the war. And that plan included courting Inoue, proposing to her after they’ve graduated culinary art school, and having a bunch of kids with her. But it all went down the drain because Kurosaki is an idiot. 

Now, Ishida is just lost. No direction. No drive. No purpose. He is just an empty shell just like his apartment and the house of Yakimura- _ san _ .

Ambling out of the locker room and right through the hallways that lead to the entrance of the hospital, Ishida gives a silent nod to each staff that greets him along the way. He stops at the automatic sliding door and adjusts his coat before putting one foot out of the building that always helps take his mind off things. The almost-full moon is up ahead, lighting up the dark streets that he will take to go home.  _ Another lonely walk back _ , he thinks before his feet carry him farther and farther away from the hospital. 

No matter how slowly he walks, just like every other time, he eventually arrives at his apartment building. Ishida gives a nod to the security guard at the main entrance -- just like every other time -- who returns the gesture. He takes the elevator up to his floor, just like every other time, knowing fully well that he will soon be enveloped into the silence of his apartment. 

However, as he rounds the bend and approach his door, unlike every other time, he is greeted by the figure of the person he least expects. 

Right there, in a sleeveless purple dress that knots on the shoulders, she stands.

“Kuchiki- _ san _ ?”


	2. Chapter 2

**** Ishida’s apartment looks almost barren, in Kuchiki Rukia’s opinion. It is equipped with very basic furniture, even less than what you would find in the room of a budget hotel. From where she is sitting at the shorter end of the L-shaped counter with only two chairs, a quick glance tells her that he does not spend much time in his own home. And when he does, he rarely gets any visitors. 

Everything is pristine white, from the table tops to the sofa set to the lampshade at the corner of the living room.  Everything is white and immaculately clean. The place also screams of solitude and abandonment. There are no photo frames on the walls, no decorations, no table runners or cushion drapes. Not even a television. The only electrical equipment are in the kitchen -- the fridge, the cooker hob and hood set, and the microwave grill oven. She wonders if he ever uses any of these. The fridge is probably empty. 

Other than those, it looks like Ishida has done nothing at all to personalise the apartment and left it just the way it was when he moved in. Rukia suspects the three doors down the hall to be two bedrooms and the common bathroom. The doors are camouflaged into the white walls. 

The man himself is currently boiling water -- ah, there’s an electric kettle, too -- to make tea for the both of them. Rukia takes a bit of time to observe him, seeing him for the first time since the Thousand-Year Blood War. (He wasn’t even present at the wedding.) She caught a waft of his shampoo when she walked past him earlier, she guesses that he has just had a shower before he came home from the hospital. But instead of looking fresh, he bears a rather haggard appearance… as if he is expecting his attire -- as classy as it always is -- to swallow him whole any time soon. 

He does not keep his hair as long as he did back when he was in high school but it is still as jet black and sleek as before, just slightly touching his ears with a bit of an undercut. Rukia notices that he has buffed up a bit, a notable change from his needle thin self from before. She realises that he has grown up quite a lot in the short years that she hasn’t seen him. This has always been a foreign concept of the living to her. Ten years is usually not very significant to souls. It’s too short a time to grow anything. If it weren’t for her training and  _ jinzen _ to maintain control of her  _ bankai _ , which requires powerful exertion of  _ reiatsu _ , she wouldn’t have grown an inch and her hair wouldn’t have reached her waistline. Ishida, on the other hand, has matured in looks with a hint of facial hair above and below his thin lips , and much broader shoulders. 

“How come you’re not at the party, Kuchiki- _ san _ ?” 

Rukia snaps out of her observation at the gruff voice of the Quincy as he places two ceramic cups of tea on the table. Nodding a silent thanks, she replies, “We left early.”

Ishida pushes his glasses up the bridge of his nose. “And they were okay with that even though it’s to celebrate your promotion?”

“Well, it wasn’t really  _ all _ for my promotion. We got to watch Sado- _ kun _ ’s boxing match on TV,” she says with a one-sided shrug before taking a sip of the hot tea. “And we had a valid reason: It’s past Ichika’s bedtime,”

The young doctor couldn’t help arching a brow at her flimsy excuse. If those goons back in the Kurosaki clinic bought it, they were a lot dumber than he thought. Do dead souls even have bedtime like the living do?

Rukia visibly slumps in her chair. “All right, all right. I had to leave. I thought I would be okay. It’s been five years. But I was wrong.”

“That’s understandable. Why do you think I wasn’t there?” Ishida says. “It’s not that I didn’t want to go and celebrate your promotion. I just felt I wasn’t ready to see them. And I’m not sure I’ll ever be ready.”

The newly-ordained captain of the 13th Division heaves a long sigh. “I don’t know how you do it, staying in the same town and having the risk of running into them any time.”

Wrapping both hands around his cup, he traces his thumbs on the textured Japanese design of the cup. “I spend most of my time in the hospital. Even when I’m not working. I don’t go out much at all.”

“What about your social life? Don’t you go for drinks with friends?”

Shaking his head, Ishida shrugs. “There’s a court at the hospital where my colleagues and I would hang out once or twice a week, playing basketball. Sometimes I’d get invites to their homes for dinner. But that’s about it.”

Rukia tries not to look like she’s feeling sorry for him because she knows she doesn’t want him to feel that way about her as well. Instead, she decides to address what he said that caught her attention. “Basketball? Since when were you into sports?”

Ishida lets out a rather humourless chuckle. “Since I heard the news of the wedding. Incidentally, that was the day the housemen were short of one player against the MOs. They took me in, with much reluctance. We were thoroughly trashed, adding to my frustration. That was when I decided to start playing on a weekly basis.”

“Maybe I should take it up, too. I don’t know how I’m going to cope when I’m assigned back here next month,” she mumbles. 

“What?”

“Hm?”

“Did you just say you’re being assigned back here?” Ishida asks. 

From what he has learnt from Urahara Kisuke when they first came back from the war, all matters pertaining to the world of the living have now been put under the charge of the former exiled  _ shinigami _ and some of the Visored who are staying here. There is no need to station anyone from Soul Society because the expulsion upon Urahara and Shihouin Yoruichi has been lifted and they are now acting as the  _ shinigami _ liaison from the world of the living. 

Rukia nods, her head feeling no less heavier than before. She’s been carrying the burden of this news for two weeks now. Only the  _ soutaicho _ and her brother know about it. She thought it would be easier, you know, after airing it out. Again, she was wrong. Lately, she has been wrong about plenty of things. 

“Just visits or…”

“I’ll have to set up a place here. And Ishida, I don’t know how I’m going to do this again because the last time I was posted here, I was living with…” she paused, the memory much too painful for her to verbalise. “I was staying at the clinic. And I had school to go to during the day. Now, I don’t even know how I’m going to occupy my time outside of patrolling. I get that the 13th Division used to be in-charge of the living world and because I’m a captain now, the  _ soutaicho _ decides it’s time the squad takes up the post again. But I just wish he could send someone else or that  _ Nii-sama _ wouldn’t have agreed to it.”

“Have you told the rest about it?”

Rukia shakes her head, surprised she ends up telling Ishida first, of all people. And not even Renji. 

“What about your daughter? I heard you and Abarai have a kid,” Ishida asks. Yuzu mentioned this to him when she was given the task of inviting him to the party.  _ “Rukia- _ chan _ and Abarai- _ kun _ will be coming over with their daughter,” _ she said. He figures maybe neither Kurosaki nor In… his wife has the courage to speak to him. 

“Ichika isn’t really our daughter. We found her, almost dying in the Rukongai just outside the Seireitei when we were scouting for casualties after the war. She grew attached to me while she was recovering. Because of her high level  _ reiatsu _ , we decided to place her in the junior academy. She needed a guardian to vouch for her … and a last name but I couldn’t adopt her even if I wanted to because the Kuchiki clan can’t handle adopting another street rat,” she explains, rolling her eyes at the last part. “That’s how Renji came into the picture. He gave her his family name.”

“So Abarai will be looking after her when you’re here?”

“No. She’s staying at the academy. Aside from the fact that she has taken a liking to calling me  _ okaa-san _ , there’s really not much between us,” Rukia replies, turning her almost empty cup between her fingers. 

Ishida grabs the kettle from the counter next to him and refills Rukia’s cup with hot water. The tea bag should be good for another couple of refills. “How was it at the clinic earlier? Did you talk to Kurosaki or Inoue?” he asks. 

“Orihime,” she corrects him. “She prefers everyone to call her that. I did try to talk to both of them. Orihime was rather chatty but it was weirder with I-Ichigo. After greeting us at the door, he hardly said anything the rest of the time and I could feel the thick tension there. That’s why I told Renji we had to leave after Sado- _ kun _ ’s match was over.”

It isn’t a shocker to Ishida that it would all turn out awkward. When Yuzu called him last week about the party, he was quite surprised that Kuchiki even agreed to come over for the celebration, knowing the complicated history between Kurosaki, Inoue, and Kuchiki. At this point, he has given up on calling his old crush anything other than the name he’s used to. She was Inoue first and that’s who she will always be to him. 

Rukia runs her fingertip around the rim of her cup idly, recalling the uneasiness she felt the whole time she was at the Kurosaki home. The  _ home _ she used to live in with the orange-haired boy she fell in love with quite accidentally all those years ago. She felt she couldn’t blend in with anyone present there. Arisawa Tatsuki, Asano Keigo, and Kojima Mizuiro were in their little world, arguing over childish things. Karin was, as always, not too interested in social interactions while Yuzu was busy going around, making everyone feel at home but to no avail. 

As for the Kurosaki couple -- and it still rips her apart when she thinks of them that way, well, they weren’t the old Ichigo and Orihime she used to know. All she wanted to do was dissolve into thin air while she was there. If it were not for Renji and Ichika, she would’ve left much sooner without anyone noticing, even if it was rude. She couldn’t carry on pretending like everything was all right when it wasn’t. 

“And you decided to come here instead of heading back to Soul Society?” Ishida asks, quirking a brow. 

It is rather comical, why she decides to do just that. She remembers standing in front of the  _ senkaimon _ with her foster daughter and  _ her _ adoptive father. And then, she just felt like there was something she had to do. So she told Renji to take Ichika back first and she will make her way home a little later. The look on Renji’s face told her instantly that he thought she was going to run back to Ichigo.  _ “I’m not returning to the clinic, fool!” _ she barked at him and knowing what was good for him, Renji urged Ichika to enter the  _ senkaimon _ with him as they said their goodbyes. 

“I don’t know why but I traced your  _ reiatsu _ to where you are. I guess I just needed to see somebody who would understand,” she explains, surprising herself even as she speaks the words, even as a lone tear manages to escape her violet orbs despite how strict she has always been with herself to keep her emotions in check. 

Ishida rises from his chair and walks around the counter to where she is sitting, drawing her into his arms with care in case she refuses the gesture.

But for the first time in five years, Kuchiki Rukia lets her mask collapse as she weeps against the former Quincy’s abs, her hands clenching the fabric of the back of his blue polo shirt. 

At that moment when the pain of losing someone he loved feels raw once again, Ishida thinks he might release his long-contained dragon’s fury about how their lives have been so graciously fucked up after the war. But holding the trembling  _ gigai _ of this petite  _ shinigami _ who has always been so strong and powerful, in  _ her _ moment of weaknesss, he knows it must take a lot for someone like her to let herself shatter into pieces in front of a mere human like him. Instead of raging, he only feels the need to help put her back together again because… if not him, who else would know how she feels?


	3. Chapter 3

****_ She watches the restlessness in his sleep as he lies next to her, covered only in her floral comforter. He seems to be mumbling something in agitation. It’s obvious he’s experiencing some kind of nightmare but she doesn’t dare to jolt him awake for fear of what he will think of their current condition, of what they have done last night, of her. _

_ Shaking his head, his scowl deepens even more than when he’s awake and his eyes are blinking rapidly. She gasps as she witnesses the string of tears on either side of his face. “Please, don’t go…” he repeats several times before he finally calls out to the person she wishes he could forget. The same name he moaned right before he passed out last night. For the second time, she is drenched with guilt.  _

_ She thought she was doing him a favour by offering him comfort. She thought she was what he needed when she found him drunk by the road on her way home from the restaurant she is working in as a sous chef. She thought the best thing she could do was to take him back to her apartment to stay the night until he could get home on his own. And she thought he meant her when he said, “I miss you so much,” in his state of intoxication. She thought wrong. And now she does not know what to do.  _

_ He blinks again, this time his tries to open his eyes, squinting at his surrounding before he notices her sitting beside him, a white sheet covering her chest. “What the fuck?” he curses as he hurls himself out of her bed, his eyes now wide with shock. “What happened?” _

_ She averts her eyes from him despite the fact that they have seen pretty much everything a few hours prior.  _

_ He realises then, that he has absolutely nothing on. Finding his jeans amongst the pile of clothes on the floor, he yanks them on before turning back to her. “What the hell happened last night?” he asks again. Getting only silence from the blonde girl, he raises his voice, “Inoue!” _

_ She jerks back on the mattress upon hearing the anger in his voice. “I… we…” she stammers. _

_ “Goddammit, Inoue! Please don’t tell me we did something we shouldn’t have!” _

_ Her trembling lips gaped and her eyes glisten instantaneously just as they flutter to stop the tears from flowing onto her cheeks that are tinged red with shame. “K-Kurosaki- _ kun _ …” _

_ “Did we or did we not…” he begins with clenched teeth before his voice lowers into a whisper. “sleep together?” _

_ She sniffles hard and nods twice.  _

_ And that is all it takes for Ichigo to scream in anguish, the frightening sound reminds her so much of that time when he was in his Vasto Lorde form in Hueco Mundo. _

_ He goes on like that for at least five minutes, tugging at his own orange locks and stomping around her room. When he finally calms, he breathes, “Why did you let me do that you?” _

_ “Kurosaki- _ kun _ …” she stammers again. That’s all she could manage because she is so, so terrified of him when he is like this.  _

_ “Why, Inoue?” he asks again, this time more forceful and the clench of his jaws is as if he has every intention to break them.  _

_ Inoue erupts into fitful sobs, her shoulders quivering as she tries to compose herself enough to give him the answer that she hopes will placate his rage.“Please don’t be mad, Kurosaki- _ kun _. It may not have happened in the most ideal circumstance but I don’t regret it even one bit.” _

_ Ichigo lowers his hands from his head and stares at her incredulously. “What?” _

_ Half-crawling towards him, dragging the white sheet along with her on the bed before kneeling right at the edge, she pleads, “It’s okay, Kurosaki- _ kun _. You were hurting and I couldn’t stand to see you in pain.” _

_ “What the fuck are you talking about?” _

_ “You needed someone and I was there. I will always be there for you, Kurosaki- _ kun _.” _

_ Ichigo’s face twists in disgust. How could she say it was okay? How could she not mind at all? “What are you saying, Inoue? It was so wrong of us.” _

_ “But I’m not sorry, Kurosaki- _ kun _!” _

_ “How could you not be?” _

_ “Because I love you! I always have!” _

_ The student doctor is struck by how naive his high school friend could be. Or is she? She knows he’s hurting. She must know the reason why. How could she offer herself to make him feel better like that? Shaking his head slowly, he murmurs, “But I don’t love you.” _

_ “I don’t care! I know you don’t! I know you’re still hung up on her but you know there’s no way the two of you could ever be together. She can’t be here for you. But I can. I’m always here for you. What would it take for you to see me as someone who can give you so much more?” _

_ Ichigo steps back, still shaking his head as he reaches behind him for the doorknob. “I can’t. I’m really sorry what happened last night… happened. I’m sorry… I… I have to go.” He snatches his shirt from the floor with his free hand and storms out of her room.  _

_ The main door slams shut in just two heartbeats. And Inoue is left crying grievously into the comforter that still holds his scent. _

* * *

 

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“Do I have a choice?”

“You always do, Kurosaki- _ san _ .”

“And I always make the wrong one,” she snaps. “It’s Inoue- _ san _ , by the way.”

Hajime- _ sensei _ nods methodically and jots down her preferred name for the day. “Inoue- _ san _ it is, then, for today.”

The blonde chews the nail of her thumb as she tries to stop fidgeting in the chair that she usually sits in during her visits. Her other hand wrings the chiffon material of her skirt, a sure sign of anxiety.

After ten minutes of silence, the doctor decides to draw her out. “Has your brother visited you lately?”

Inoue furrows her brows as she turns to face him. “Sora- _ nii _ doesn’t visit. He still lives in the apartment.”

Hajime- _ sensei _ nods and scribbles a few things in his A4-sized notepad. “That’s right. You’re the one who visits because you don’t live there anymore. Must be nice to go back to the home you both grew up in,” he comments. 

Inoue smiles, a distant look in her eyes as she remembers her brother fondly. “I love it every time I go back home. He’s always there, waiting for me to cook him his favourite meal.”

“And what is that?”

“Chicken curry with red bean paste and sunflower seeds,” she replies proudly. 

This is the set of questions Hajime Daisuke asks every time he meets a dead end with Inoue Orihime. And every time he asks her about her brother’s favourite dish, he tries very hard not to gag in disgust at the odd combo. He has gotten quite used to it, sometimes he can pretend it does not affect him… but that depends on how easily digestible the food he eats for lunch before her session. 

“Anything interesting happened the last time you went back to the apartment?”

Inoue visibly perks up, she leans her body forward with her elbows resting on her knees. She is always excited to talk about her beloved brother. “He put the hairpin on for me again and he told me they look good on me. He also said that I’m his pride and joy. That makes me so happy!”

“It must have. You look happy just talking about it.”

“Of course, I do. You have no idea how much I’ve always worked so hard for his approval,” she says before her expression takes on a sudden change. “But…”

Hajime- _ sensei _ raises his brows. There hasn’t been a ‘but’ since that first time she opened up to him. Waiting patiently for her to continue, he scribbles some more notes before he decides that he has to prompt her to do so. 

“Did something else happen this time around, Inoue- _ san _ ?” He has to be careful how he addresses her in every session. There are times when she is not in the mood to be called Kurosaki, especially when Ichigo spends too much time at work and hardly shows his face at home. He thought today was one such time. However, when she continues her ‘report’ with a ‘but’, he suspects something else must have distraught her. 

“Sora- _ nii _ was not very happy with me yesterday,” she tells him shakily. 

He isn’t sure if she is angry or at the verge of tears but her face was red. “What makes you think your brother was not happy with you?”

“He scolded me! He said I shouldn’t have thrown a party for Kuchiki Rukia!” she practically yells, pounding her fists on her knees. “And he was right!”

“He was?”

“Of course, he was. My brother is always right. Just like that time long ago when he was angry at me for neglecting him because I was too focused on my crush on Ichigo. He turned into a monster because I forgot to care about him. I was so stupid…”

“Is he still that same monster?”

Inoue shakes her head vigorously. “Not since I started offering prayers to him at the shrine.”

“The shrine?” Hajime- _ sensei _ asks, just like every time she stumbles into this loophole. And every time she does, he tries to steer her back to reality. “Is your brother no longer around?” 

She gasps. “Are you asking if my brother is dead?  _ Sensei _ , he’s very much alive! He has been, ever since he returned to me.”

“And when was that?”

“When Kazui- _ kun _ was born!”

Seeing how agitated she gets about his accusation, he knows he has to change course. He needs to draw as much out of her in a session and he can’t do that if she gets angry about the same thing again since there seems to be something new this time around. “Do you want to tell me about this party?”

Inoue exhales long and hard, she looks up at the ceiling as if to prepare what she wants to tell him. “It’s to celebrate Kuchiki- _ san _ ’s promotion to captaincy. So we invited her, her partner, and her daughter to the world of the living.”

“They are from the world of the dead?”

She seems to ponder upon that question for a bit. “I guess that’s another way of referring to Soul Society.”

“Ah… that place where the afterlife is. That place where you all fought to save the world.” Of course, he knows nothing about Soul Society and the  _ shinigami _ . But he humours her because that’s his job -- to lend a listening ear, an avenue for her to express herself.

“Yes. That’s the place.”

“So, this Kuchiki Rukia…”

“I organised that party to prove to Ichigo that I don’t hold any ill feelings towards her,” she interrupts him. “Even though he used to love her, even if he still can’t get over her.”

“Does he believe you?”

Her mood changes again. Casting her eyes downwards, she mumbles, “I don’t really want to talk about it. Sora- _ nii _ said the party was a mistake. And I was stupid to bring Kuchiki- _ san _ back into Ichigo’s life again.”

* * *

The paperwork has been piling up since her installation as the captain of the 13th Division. On top of the usual squad matters, she is also working on a handover schedule before she leaves for the world of the living in a week. Kotsubaki Sentaro was appointed as the new  _ fukutaicho _ under her captaincy. He will be handling everything in her absence and she is glad for his assistance because he’s the most experienced in the squad. Her brother has offered his division to take charge of the training of her squad members. That about halved her burden as she isn’t sure Sentaro could handle training, recruitment, and management at the same time. 

She is dreading her move to the world of the living. But orders are orders and as a Kuchiki, she is groomed to respect and submit to orders given by the authority she is placed under. Urahara has yet to come up with her living arrangement in Karakura. His tardiness is pissing off Kuchiki Byakuya but Rukia doubts Urahara cares. He knows they need him and he always takes his time. 

The sound of padded feet arriving outside her office alerts her. She looks up in time to see a shadow beyond the rice paper door waiting for permission to enter. 

“What is it?”

“Kuchiki- _ taichou _ , I have a message from the world of the living.”

_ Speak of the devil… _ “You may enter,” she orders. 

The  _ shoji _ door slides open and a non-seated  _ shinigami _ steps in with a rolled-up parchment paper in his hands. He sits himself before her table in a  _ seiza _ , lowers his head to the ground in a respectful bow, and lifts the parchment with both hands towards the  _ taicho _ . 

Rukia picks up the paper from him and dismisses him with a quiet ‘thanks’. She takes her time to finish up a bit more of her paperwork before unrolling the parchment to read its contents, not in a hurry at all to find out the human segment of the plan for her stay in the world of the living. 

Her eyes skim the words from top to bottom with disinterest. No matter what they have planned for her, nothing is going to rid the anxiety of being back in the world of the living again. 

‘... enrolment in Tokyo University of Arts and Design…’  _ That’s not too bad, I suppose. _

‘... part-time bartending…’  _ Wow, did  _ Nii-sama _ really agree to this? Maybe he does not know what the working hours of a bartender are and what kind of company I’ll be in most of the time.  _

‘... sharing a two-room apartment with one human roommate…’  _ She’d better not freak out when my  _ gigai _ goes on silent mode. _

‘... your  _ gikon _ , Chappy is to be trained to perform all human tasks for you while you are handling  _ shinigami _ matters…’  _ Ah, that apartment-sharing makes more sense now. _

Rukia sighs as she rolls the parchment back up. It’s not like she has any other options. She will just have to carry out her duties as planned at the moment until such time when they are deemed not feasible for her position as a  _ shinigami _ . 

She is so  _ not _ looking forward to her transfer…


	4. Chapter 4

 

Rukia steps out of the  _ senkaimon _ into the compound of the Urahara  _ shoten _ with a sigh. She knows she should not let her personal issues get in the way of her obligations as a  _ shinigami _ but she cannot help feeling uneasy about this. Maybe after a couple of days of getting used to a busy routine as a normal human being, she will be able to focus better and forget about the unnecessary human emotions that she has picked up because of her feelings for Ichigo. 

_ A couple of days… _ she scoffs. It’s been five years since her heart broke when she had to accept that she has lost him forever. What makes her think she could get over it in just two days? And this time, she’s even closer to him than before. 

But she’s a Kuchiki. For the past one month, upon being given the official order that she is to be posted to Karakura, she’s been psyching herself up for this. She needs to put that human part of her aside. Heck, she wasn’t even supposed to adopt it in the first place. She’s a warrior. Her purpose is to lay down her life to save souls, something she must’ve have forgotten about because she was blinded by the human emotions she developed while being here. 

She swears, this time, she will not allow herself to be so easily fooled. It’s tempting… everything in the world of the living is tempting because she has never truly experienced these before. But she needs to know where to set her boundaries. She will use this opportunity to gain the experience of a human life that she never had because in her previous life, she died as a baby. And that’s all it’s going to be. In order for her to be able to really enjoy this faux life, she needs to be liberated from her past with Ichigo. There is no point hanging on to something that can never happen and being bitter about it -- or even just thinking about it -- is detrimental to her plan of moving on from him. 

With renewed determination, she enters the  _ shoten _ and is greeted by a young man with hair as red as Renji’s.  _ Huh… even Jinta has grown up. _ He looks up with a bored expression from the game he is playing as he hears her approaching before returning his attention to the game, yelling, “Urahara- _ san _ , Kuchiki is here!”

A green, striped hat pops out from one of the rooms and a hand waves her over. She quietly follows and finds herself in the same room she and the  _ ryoka _ used to have discussion with Urahara all those years back. 

“Please sit, Kuchiki- _ san _ ,” Urahara says, now sitting by a table with several documents on it. 

Rukia nods as she lowers herself to the ground, her legs folded under her. 

If the blonde man noticed the glum look on her face, he chooses not to mention it. Instead, pulling on a playful grin, he asks, “Are you excited to be back here?”

The  _ taicho _ narrows her eyes at him. But she isn’t surprised that this guy hasn’t changed one bit. Just really irritated. “Get on with it, Urahara- _ san _ ,” she snaps.

“Ah… someone’s in a hurry to go out and discover the world again!” he snickers, sliding a card and a stack of papers across the table towards her. “These are your student ID and handbook, and the tenancy agreement. The initial payment for the university and the apartment has been settled by the Kuchiki account. There’s a standing instruction for the subsequent payments at the beginning of each semester for the university and the monthly rental. Your brother is very thorough.”

Rukia picks up the student ID and studies the details. The frown still on her face, she asks, “21? I’m over 150 years old, Urahara- _ san _ . I think I could pass for being 40 at the very least. I don’t think I can act 21 by your human standards.”

“Have you seen yourself lately, Kuchiki- _ san _ ?” The shopkeeper laughs out loud but quickly covers the lower part of his face with his fan. “You don’t look a day older than the last time you were running around Karakura with Kurosaki. And even then, people were suspicious about you being 15. In fact, 21 is the oldest I could make you, just so you’re old enough to work at a bar. Still, you should be prepared for weird questions.”

Sighing, Rukia supposes what Urahara says is true. All the  _ ryoka _ has caught up with her where age is concerned. She still looks like the middle school kid they mistaken her for from before, albeit with much longer hair and maybe just a tiny inch taller. “Right, whatever. So can I get my stuff and head to my new apartment now? You said in your letter than Yoruichi- _ san _ has prepared my wardrobe and essential needs. I hope it’s all decent.”

Snickering again -- if not for her Kuchiki upbringing, Rukia would have wiped that mischievous look on his face with a quick uppercut, he replies, “You’re lucky it was her and not me, then. Your  _ stuff _ , as you well put it, has already been sent to the apartment. Right now, what you need to do is register yourself at the university, collect your schedules and your books and  _ whatever, whatever, _ maybe tour around the campus a little. It’s a fairly new campus, you know? They just set it up in Karakura last year but the facilities are splendid. The main university is in the heart of Tokyo, and it’s the best arts and design school in all of Japan. But of course, you know Byakuya would always choose the best place for his baby sister.”

“And after that? When do I get to go to my apartment? I can’t be loitering in town all day,” she says. Actually, what she wants to do is lock herself up in the room until it’s time for patrolling, since she’s pretty sure that Urahara would not have arranged for her to arrive at Karakura on her first day of work or classes. 

Again, the snickering… “You’ll have to report yourself at your new workplace, of course!”

Then again, maybe he did… that good for nothing horrible planner of her human life.

“It’s not a workday yet but you will be briefed on what to do. After that, your roommate will pick you up from there.”

“Why can’t I go to the apartment first? It’s only midday. I’m not going to spend the rest of the day walking around campus and learning how to make drinks. I may need to do some paperwork and contact my  _ fukutaicho _ ,” Rukia insists. 

Urahara shrugs, that sinister smile still on his face. “There’s no one in your apartment. Your roommate is working at the moment. Be patient, Kuchiki- _ san _ . Take this opportunity to relax a little and not think about work.”

“I’m here for work. What else should I be thinking about?” she barks. 

With another chuckle and a shake of his head, Urahara stands up, prompting her to do the same. He leads her to the  _ gigai _ room and leaves her there for her to settle into it. 

When she comes out, wearing a pair of skinny jeans and a dark blue tank top under a black jacket, he eyes her with approval. Her long hair is tied in a high ponytail with her stubborn strand of hair hanging between her brows. She looks much younger than the 21-year-old she is supposed to be but that’s the best he can do for her. 

Walking her out of the  _ shoten _ , he pats her head at the doorway, much to her annoyance. “Have a nice day, little Kuchiki. There will be time for work. Call me if you need anything.”

“Call you?” she asks, swatting his hand away from her. 

“Oh!” he exclaims and appears to be laughing at himself as he retrieves a mobile phone from his pocket. “Silly me. Here’s your phone. Your roommate will contact you later. Run along, now.” He nudges her forward to a waiting taxi at the entrance. When did he even call for one?

To say she is pissed off at him, would be an understatement. If she could, she would send his soul back to Soul Society for good. She cannot imagine how she’s going to live here when she has to deal with him every time she needs to submit a report to the  _ soutaicho _ . 

_ Seriously, fuck my life. Or non-life _ , she thinks as the driver takes her to her new school.

* * *

 

It’s 4.35 pm. Ishida exits the recovery bay where he was assisting a post-surgery patient, dead tired but he is still three hours away from the end of his 16-hour shift. He isn’t supposed to work the day shift today, seeing as he was already working the night shift yesterday. But he offered to swap with another colleague just so he would have this evening off. 

Getting out of the scrubs, he changes into the long-sleeved shirt and black slacks he has been wearing since the start of his first shift yesterday. The smell of antiseptic surges at him the minute he tugs his shirt on. He is definitely looking forward to his day off tomorrow. Despite what everyone says, that smell is something he can never get used to no matter how long he is exposed to it. 

As he walks past the nurse’s counter on his way to see a child patient of his, he hears someone call out to him, “Ishida- _ sensei _ , there’s a phone call for you.”

Furrowing his brows, he tucks the patient’s file under his arm so he can roll up his sleeves after donning his white coat. “Can that person call back? I need to see the boy with the scalded chest.”

The nurse shakes her head. “He’s been calling you a few times. Says it’s urgent.”

Ishida sighs and reaches over the counter for the receiver. “Ishida Uryuu speaking.”

_ “Ishida- _ kun _!” _

Rolling his eyes at the most unwelcome voice, he responds, “Urahara- _ san _ , what is so urgent that you can’t leave a message on my mobile phone?”

_ “Don’t be mad. I just wanted to tell you she’s expecting you at her new workplace tonight.” _

“You told her I’ll be picking her up from there?”

_ “Yes. Is there a problem?” _

“Hmm… might as well, since it’s near the hospital.”

_ “I thought so, too. I’ve just texted you her contact number. Have fun tonight, Ishida- _ kun _!” _

The raven-haired doctor narrows his eyes but couldn’t retort because the perverted shopkeeper has already hung up. Pulling out his phone from the pocket of his pants, he checks if Urahara has indeed send him the contact number. And he has, true to his words, this time around. 

He decides to drop  _ her _ a text before he heads for his rounds at the ward. ‘Kuchiki- _ san _ , pick you up 7.30 pm at Nichibotsu Bar.’

* * *

 

One look from the entrance of the massive campus ground tells Rukia she has neither the energy nor the interest to take a tour around it that day. She decides it would be faster for her to  _ shunpo _ her way from one end to the other tonight instead. 

Maybe after making a brief acquaintance with her new roommate, she will be able to excuse herself into her room and pretend she needs to turn in early. She’s not really in the mood to chit chat about herself or listen to someone else tell her about themselves. She has always been an introvert. It’s her acting skill -- a very poor one, according to Ichigo -- that saves her in socially awkward situations all the time. Ever since the war and all the things that came with it, she has been too tired to care about being friendly. It’s probably best not to care, anyway. Caring was what brought her into all this mess. 

She is currently listening idly to the instructions of her boss at Nichibotsu Bar. Curiously, Nichibotsu Tetsuya is his name. It’s not uncommon to name a business after the owner but it’s the first time she’s come across someone whose family name literally means ‘sunset’. 

“When someone asks for a neat whisky or brandy, it just means you serve it on its own without mixing with anything else or even ice. ‘On the rocks’ means you throw in a couple of ice cubes before pouring whatever alcohol they order. Some would ask for whisky  _ Coke _ . This means ice… whisky… and then  _ Coke _ , depending on how much they want,” Nichibotsu explains, demonstrating with a mild whisky how everything is done. “Right now, this is all you need to know because it’s basic bartending. We’ll get to the cocktails as we go along. This month, you’ll be working alongside my most experienced bartender, Harukami. After that, you’ll be on your own as she’ll be transferred to our new branch on the other side of town. So I need you to observe and pick up all her technics before she leaves.”

Rukia nods, mentally repeating the three basic ways of serving before she hears a clink of the Collins glass Nichibotsu has slipped into her hand.

“Don’t worry about it. Urahara tells me you’re a fast learner. You’ll be all right,” he says with a smirk as he clinks the glass again. “Drink up. Don’t let these go to waste.”

“Thanks,” she replies, taking a sip of the Jack and  _ Coke _ while he downs his whisky, neat from an old-fashioned glass. 

“You’re awfully quiet for a young girl,” he comments. 

Rukia shrugs, pulling on the most decent smile she can manage. “Yeah, I don’t really talk much.”

“That’s actually a good thing sometimes, especially for this job,” he tells her. “You’ll be a good listener for customers who come here to rant, and a good silent companion for those who just… ‘don’t want to talk about it’.”

“Then, I guess it’s not such an awful thing to be quiet.” And just then, they both hear the hum of her phone vibrating in the pocket of her jacket.

Nichibotsu’s smile broadens at her subtle humour. “Not at all, Kuchiki. I think you’re going to like it here. I’m not going to keep you since your first day is not until tomorrow. Must be very tiring to travel all the way from Fukuoka.”

“Fuku…” she begins before she realises that must be where Urahara tells Nichibotsu she’s from. “Right. Yes. Quite a distance from here. Well, I’ll be going now. I think that’s my roommate calling.”

Nichibotsu gives her a nod as she heads to the entrance of the bar while retrieving her phone. She learns that the vibration was a missed call from an unknown number. Under that notification are two text messages she assumes are from the same number. 

_ 5.00 pm _

_ ‘Kuchiki- _ san _ , pick you up 7.30 pm at Nichibotsu Bar’. _

_ 7.35 pm _

_ ‘I’m outside.’ _

Peering through the glass door, all she sees is a few cars parked by the roadside. There doesn’t seem to be anyone waiting outside the bar. 

‘Thanks. But I don’t see you,’ she types and decides she should head out of the bar instead of waiting inside. Turning around to give her new boss a respectful bow, she excuses herself, “I’ll be going now, Nichibotsu- _ san _ .”

The man lifts a hand up in the midst of cleaning a glass. “See you tomorrow, Kuchiki.”

With that, she pushes out of the bar, her eyes on the screen of her phone, and crashes right into the chest of a man smelling of antiseptic. “Sorry!” she exclaims. 

He chuckles, one hand in his pocket and the other one holding his car key. 

“Ishida?” And that’s when she puts two and two together. “You’re my roommate?”

Pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose, his brows arch in amusement. “Hasn’t Urahara told you?”

Rukia shakes her head. “No. He stated in his letter that I will have one human roommate. I assumed it would be a girl because there’s no way my brother would allow me to live in the same house with a man.”

“Yeah, I did ask Urahara about that but he told me your brother has approved,” Ishida says.  _ As long as it’s not Kurosaki, _ he doesn’t say. 

“Okay…”

“Okay,” Ishida repeats and starts for his white saloon car parked just in front of the bar. “Let’s go get dinner, then.”

For the first time in a long while, Rukia feels her lips tilt into a genuine smile as she follows after him. Having Ishida as a roommate isn’t a bad idea. At least that settles the immobile  _ gigai _ problem if it ever happens that Chappy is not available. Living with someone who knows about her other life will definitely make her stay in the world of the living much easier. Maybe she could look forward to this new adventure of hers. 

 


	5. Chapter 5

 

Spotting his father’s car from outside his classroom, an orange-haired boy runs in anticipation to the pick-up area of his kindergarten. School is done for the day and he can’t wait to show his parents what he did for art and craft. 

“ _ Otou-san _ !” he shouts, jumping and waving as his father approaches.

The tall man with the same hair colour extends his hand towards the boy who grasps it eagerly before the both of them head to his car. 

“Where is  _ Okaa-san _ ? Why isn’t she picking me up today?” the little boy asks, climbing into the backseat.

“She’s not well, Kazui,” the man replies.

“Am I going to be a big brother?” 

Ichigo furrows his brows. “No. What makes you say that?”

Kazui visibly slouches in his seat. “My friend’s mother is unwell but he says that’s because he’s going to be a big brother.”

Steering away from the topic, Ichigo decides to ask his son what he did in school. The boy replies with renewed enthusiasm as he fishes into his bag for a drawing he made of him and his parents. 

Ichigo stops at a red light to take a look at Kazui’s work and is immediately reminded of a certain midget whose drawing was horribly ugly.  _ Wonder if she still sucks at it, _ he thinks before chiding himself inwardly for letting his thoughts stray towards her when he should be focusing on his son. 

In the drawing paper, are two adults and a child in between and they are all holding hands. There are arrows pointing at each of the character, linking the words  _ Otou-san _ ,  _ Okaa-san _ , and Kazui to the respective figures. In between the two adults, just above the head of the little boy, is a big red heart. Something clinches inside of him but he chooses to ignore it.

“Good job, Kazui. This is very nice,” Ichigo praises, eliciting a huge, proud smile on the boy’s face. 

As his son reclines in his seat to admire his own drawing, Ichigo looks up in time to see that the light has turned green but a familiar figure walking at the side of the road freezes him. He would know that face and that trained, elegant walk anywhere. It’s definitely  _ her _ and he just can’t stop staring. It is only when he hears Kazui’s voice calling him and the honking of the cars behind him that his attention is snapped back to the road. 

Even as Ichigo steps on the accelerator as if on autopilot, his mind still bears the image of the raven-haired girl with the violet eyes. 

_ Rukia… _

* * *

 

“Urahara told me he sent my clothes and everything else here,” Rukia mentions as she follows Ishida up to his --  _ their _ \-- apartment. The dinner they had earlier at a nearby cafe was made up of some simple food and mostly companionable silence. It surprises Rukia that she didn’t feel awkward or uncomfortable the entire time. They both didn’t seem to feel the need to say anything to break the silence. But she supposes that Ishida is just as introverted as she is. Even during high school, she hardly heard him speak unless it was to argue with Ichigo. 

Ishida stops outside his apartment and tries to look for his keys in his bag. Seeing that he has his hands full, Rukia wordlessly takes the newspaper, hospital coat, and a couple of thick books off his hands so he can search better. “Thanks,” he murmurs, blindly feeling for his keys, which she can hear jingling inside. “Actually, I went to collect your boxes from the  _ shoten _ a few days ago. He said you may need them immediately so I should have them ready here.”

Rukia rolls her eyes. “An unnecessary inconvenience. Sorry about that. You know how stupid that shopkeeper is.”

Ishida smirks, successfully retrieving the keys and unlocking his door. “Moving them wasn’t a problem. But I didn’t unpack them for you. Was afraid it’s all personal items and I didn’t want to pry,” he says, opening the door for her to enter first. “Make yourself at home.”

The  _ shinigami _ snickers. “Yes,  _ home _ , indeed.”

Taking the coat and reading materials from Rukia, Ishida leads her into the familiar hallway of doors. “Your room is right here,” he says, opening the second white door on the left and letting her take a quick look around before gesturing to the last door at the end of the hall. “That’s the bathroom. I’m going to take a quick shower, if you don’t mind…”

“Sure, go ahead. I need to unpack anyway,” she says, nodding at the boxes piled up neatly by the closet. “And thanks for letting me put up here, Ishida.”

As Ishida leaves her room with a slide nod, she shuts the door behind him and turns around to take a quick glance at her room. It’s a bit bigger than Ichigo’s old room and the closet looks like it’s a walk-in. Definitely furnished for an adult; with the queen-sized bed and side tables to the left and right of it. On the opposite end of the room is a writing table with a table lamp on it, paired with a comfortable-looking study chair. If not for the lilac striped curtains covering the entire wall of glass windows and the bed set of similar pattern, the entire room would’ve been blindingly white. 

Ishida seems to be very fond of the pale colour. It’s probably a Quincy thing. Rukia, on the other hand, prefers black even though her  _ zanpakutou _ and  _ bankai _ form are both white.  _ But an entire room of black would look kind of depressing, wouldn’t it? _

And speaking of being depressing, her mood has just plummeted upon finding some drawing materials in one of the boxes. She recalls how she used to draw silly pictures just to annoy the hell out of Ichigo. She knows she lacks the skill but getting him riled up was hilarious. It was the only way to  _ draw _ some expressions out of him beside the perpetual scowl and self-loathing look he donned on himself all the time. There’s no reason for her to get back to scribbling now. She finds her own drawing hideous even if she wouldn’t admit it to Ichigo. 

Setting the box aside, she opens the next one that is labelled ‘toiletries’. Much to her annoyance, it contains more than just a toothbrush, a toothpaste, and some bathing essentials. There are also a few packs of sanitary pads and panty-liners which explain why ‘toiletries’ needs such a big box. She has learnt about the human anatomy in high school and from discussions of the girls in her class. But she’s not human. That kind of ‘puberty’ will never reach her. She grows into adult form very, very slowly but she does not have that kind of transitional experiences. To her, it’s a nuisance, anyway. She used to pity those girls who would become very embarrassed if their skirts were stained red or their premenstrual syndrome made them do or say stuff they never meant to. 

The next two boxes are filled with clothes and for these, she’s thankful that Yoruichi was the one who picked the style that’s most suitable and decent for her. Although, there are some lingeries wedged between the baby T's… Oh well, what do you expect from someone who walks around shamelessly in the nude after transforming from her cat form?

The last box, to her mild disappointment, contains a few pairs of shoes to go with the different outfits from the other two boxes. She is disappointed because, as much as she knows would be kind of far-fetched, she is expecting some surprise Chappy merchandise. Silly, yes, and she knows, but it always feels like home to her when she has one of these.

Retrieving only the important stuff from the toiletry box, she arranges the rest of the boxes inside the walk-in closet and decides to unpack only after she comes back from patrolling tonight.

* * *

 

Ishida comes out of the bathroom to the aroma of a brewing coffee. Curious, he wanders into the kitchen to find his new roommate sitting by the counter with a cup of the hot beverage between her hands. “You’re not asleep?” he asks, rubbing a towel in his freshly-showered hair. 

The  _ shinigami _ turns to face him with a small smile. “Need my fix before heading out. There’s enough hot water for another cup. Just didn’t know if you would want one since it’s so late at night.”

“I don’t mind one,” he says, shrugging as he goes to make a cup for himself. “I’m pretty much immuned to coffee. Doesn’t do much to keep me awake if I’m too tired. Sometimes, I think it helps me sleep better.”

Kuchiki lets out a chuckle as she nods. “Same here. It’s all in the mind.”

Taking a seat across from his former comrade, the doctor places his cup on the counter. “You’re going to patrol tonight?” he asks, his voice muffled a little by the towel as he resumes drying his black hair. 

“It’s what I’m here for,” she replies, taking a sip of her coffee. “Also, I’m planning to tour the campus by  _ shunpo _ . That place is too big go around on foot.”

“Good luck for the rest of the school year, then,” he scoffs. “You can’t be flash-stepping from class to class in your  _ gigai _ .”

“As a matter of fact, I can. Just as long as no one sees me.”

“How can anyone not see you?” 

“I’m tiny. Nobody will notice me.”

Ishida laughs.  _ Actually _ laughs… at the incredulity of it. “Kuchiki- _ san _ , you probably don’t know this, but the first time you stepped foot here, you had this aura that demands attention. You still do. You’re not as small as you think you are, you know?”

Furrowing her brows, she mumbles, “But someone used to call me a midget.”

“That someone must’ve felt threatened by your existence. Or was very much affected by it, at least,” he says, knowing who that ‘someone’ is. He quickly realises that he shouldn’t have mentioned that part. Changing the subject, he asks her how her unpacking is going. 

The girl shrugs. “I’ll probably get to that when I come back later. The only things I took out were my toiletries.”

“You can keep them in the bathroom,” he suggests. “I’m sorry we have to share. When I picked this apartment, I wasn’t expecting to have a roommate, in case, you know, if something from my past decides to creep up on me.”

“I’m sorry…”

Ishida lifts a hand up to stop her. “I don’t mean it in a bad way, Kuchiki- _ san _ . You’re different. A normal human being would freak out if something out of this world happens. And honestly, I’m not too keen on explaining the details about the spirit world to someone who has no clue about it.”

“Yeah, I was kind of worried about that when Urahara told me I will be sharing an apartment with a human. Can’t imagine what would happen if I accidentally leave my motionless  _ gigai _ lying around,” she admits. 

Ishida snorts. “That will probably come in handy when my annoying colleagues decide to show up uninvited.”

“Are you serious?” She laughs. “That’s mean.”

“Yeah, but they do that sometimes. Why do you think I didn’t furnish my apartment all that much? It’s so it would appear unwelcoming to them,” he explains. 

“Speaking of furnishing,” she begins, glancing around the apartment. “It’s a lot different from when I came here last month.”

Ishida feels the tip of his ears heating up and wonders why Kuchiki noticing the change should affect him. It’s his apartment for the most part and she’s renting from him. He should be able to do anything to it without fearing her judgment. “I just thought I’d add a few things here and there to make it less boring.”

“A few things,” she hums. “Like a huge home theatre system, a dining set, and some artwork from famous artists?”

The raven-haired doctor sighs. “Yes, I thought I’d liven up the place a bit to make you feel at home. I can see how reluctant you are to come back here because of what happened. If I were you, I wouldn’t want to be anywhere near Karakura. I’m such a coward avoiding any chance of ever running into them. Sometimes, I envy you for being so strong, Kuchiki- _ san _ . I don't know how you do it.”

There is a moment of odd silence as the two seem to ponder what he has said. But just when he thinks it is growing uncomfortable, she smirks, “You know what? If we’re going to make this roommate thing work, you’re going to have to start calling me Rukia. ‘Kuchiki- _ san _ ’ makes me feel so Edo.”

“Well, you  _ are _ that old, anyway.”

Rukia narrows her eyes at him. “Watch it, Quincy. This may be an old soul but I can finish you with one offensive  _ kido _ without breaking a sweat.”

Ishida laughs. “I don’t doubt that… Rukia- _ san _ . I have not practised my Quincy abilities in a long time and I don’t intend to start any time soon. But the first name basis goes both ways, all right?”

“Sure,” Rukia smirks, raising a shoulder slightly. “Rain Dragon.”

**Thanks for the reviews to the previous chapters. I’m sorry I have not replied some of you. But I’d like to thank** **_baerbelhaddrell_ ** **for reminding me what Uryuu’s name means. Been meaning to slip it in somewhere but I didn’t know where. I don’t know what his Vollstaendig is, though. I can’t remember if it was ever shown in the** **_manga_ ** **because that last arc isn’t something I’d like to remember. When I wrote** **_Of Desires, Dreams, and Nightmares_ ** **, I had to look back at the chapters of the** **_manga_ ** **several times… very painfully. This time around, I’m not as motivated to read it again even though I know I will have to if I’m going to make some references to certain things that are canon.**

**This chapter isn’t a heavy one. Just to show how the two MCs are starting to be more relaxed around each other. Although it does start with a sneak peak of what Ichigo is like as a father. I don’t hate Ichigo or even Inoue, now. I’m quite over the fact that Kubo screwed us over. But on the part of the canon orange-haired couple, I’d like to remain true to what I had in mind a year ago when I started this fic… that time when all I felt was anguish towards how Ichigo apparently made the choice (or sacrifice) to stay in the world of the living and kind of breach his bond with Soul Society despite how he used to find himself so much more accomplished in being a** **_shinigami_ ** **. I hated that he so easily shrunk back into his human life when he could’ve stayed in Soul Society, assisting his father in reviving the Shiba clan and doing what he did best: protecting a truckload of people. Ah well… a little too late for all that.**

**Before I go, I’d like to have a moment of silence to remember Takagi Hiroki, the animator of Bleach who passed away recently. May his soul find rest and peace wherever he is. The serialisation of Bleach and most of its movies were products of his talents.**

 


	6. Chapter 6

 

Rukia thinks it’s rather silly for her to be this nervous about going to school with a bunch of kids -- well, young adults, actually -- when she shouldn’t feel intimidated at all since she’s much, much older than all of them. But she is. In all of her existence, she has only been in the academy for a couple of years -- which wasn’t much like school in the world of the living -- and in high school for a few months. 

As she walks along the corridor, searching for the lecture halls she is supposed to be at her classes, she feels like a total alien, with all these people staring at her and making her feel smaller than she already is. She curses herself for not being thorough that night during her patrol. She should’ve brought her class schedule with her to look for the rooms beforehand while she was familiarising herself within the campus grounds by  _ shunpo _ . 

_ And Ishi… Uryuu was right. I’m not as small as I think I am. Why do people notice me? I don’t look that different from the other girls here _ , she thinks. Yes, the staring makes her  _ feel _ smaller but at the same time, she seems to stick out like a sore thumb among the students here. 

Thank  _ Kami _ , her day is almost over and all three classes she attended today wasn’t as eventful as she thought it would be. Besides the staring, that is. Now all she has to do is look for the university  _ dojo _ where she has been planning to sign up at.

Standing at the entrance of the classroom block, trying to make sense of the locality plan of the campus, a familiar voice breaks into her concentration, “Need help?” 

She looks up to find her former high school friend smiling at her. “Arisawa!” she gasped. 

The taller girl chuckles. “You must be the new girl everyone’s talking about.”

Rukia feels heat rising in her face. It’s one thing to be conscious about the attention yourself and a whole lot of other things to actually be told about it. “Why is everyone talking about me? Do I look that odd?”

Arisawa shakes her head. “I don’t think that’s the impression everyone has of you. One of my students just came up to me to tell me there’s a ‘new hot chick walking around campus, looking lost but turning heads’.”

“That is so embarrassing,” Rukia groans. The last thing she ever wanted to do was to capture anyone’s attention.

“Ah, but you should be flattered,” Arisawa says. “What are you looking for now?”

“The  _ dojo _ , actually. Planning to sign up for  _ kendo _ class.”

The grin on Arisawa’s face widens. “Well, you’re lucky I bumped into you. I’m heading there right now.”

“You’re in the club, too?”

“Kuchiki- _ san _ ,” she begins as she guides her to the training gym. “I am your new  _ kendo _ coach.”

For the first time that day, Rukia is relieved to be here because at least she knows  _ someone _ in the university. Even as she feels a bundle of nerves when she remembers who Arisawa’s best friend and childhood friend are.

* * *

 

The crowd at Nichibotsu bar isn’t as bad tonight since it’s a Monday night. The past couple of days were crazy. Weekend customers have no limits to their drinking. It’s Rukia’s sixth day here. The bar closes every Tuesday and she is glad for the break because she needs to catch up on laundry tomorrow. She is still trying to get used to her human life routine. 

Back in Soul Society, she only has the same outfit to wear day in and day out; and a sleeping  _ yukata _ to change into before she sleeps. All the washing and cleaning are mostly done by her servants, although there are times when she insists she would do things on her own especially on her days off from work. Still, the servants are usually quicker than her, getting to her chores before she could. 

Today was a bit of a rush for her because it was her first day at the university. It’s a good thing that Mondays are quiet nights. She got to learn how to make a few more drinks from the other bartender, Harukami, a boyish-looking 30-year-old who doesn’t talk much but is comfortable to work alongside with. That’s probably because they both have similar characters. 

The woman is a single mother of a ten-year-old kid. Her husband died in a car crash a few years ago. The bartending job used to be her second job to make ends meet while she worked as a cleaner during the day. But six months ago, Nichibotsu offered to train her in business management as well so she doesn’t have to juggle two jobs because he sees a lot of potential in her. She will be running his other bar when it opens in a few weeks, as a business partner. 

Rukia likes Harukami’s work ethics. She is very professional in her dealings with customers and is always willing to teach her new things in between orders so the new girl could pick up faster and gain more experience. 

_ The new girl… _ Rukia inwardly scoffs. That’s how the kids label her at the university. Thankfully, Arisawa did not bring up their old classmates in their conversation while she was showing her the  _ dojo _ . Neither did she ask why she was back in the world of the living after so many years. In fact, she spent more time teasing her about being the new girl.

“Ready for closing?” Harukami asks from beyond the counter where Rukia is rinsing the dishcloths.

“Yeah, just got to put all these in the dryer,” she replied. 

Harukami nods. “Good. ‘Cos your boyfriend is already waiting outside.”

Rukia chuckles as she shakes her head. “He’s not my boyfriend. He’s an old friend I’m renting a room from.”

“Really?” The other woman asks with a raised brow. “He picks you up from work every night. What landlord does that?”

“Not  _ every _ night,” Rukia snorts. “He works nearby and it’s only when he’s on overtime from his day shifts that he picks me up.”

“Like  _ every _ night?” Harukami smirks. “Go, Kuchiki. I’ll close up after you.”

It’s true that Ishida picks her up after work the past six nights but it’s also true that he seems to work overtime everyday. He tells her that that’s what he has always been doing -- overworking himself because he does not have much else to do and going home to a quiet, empty apartment after a busy day at the hospital often feels like the sudden drop of a roller-coaster ride from its vertex.

Sometimes, Rukia thinks Ishida is rather weird. He can’t transition easily to the quiet apartment but he also doesn’t welcome visitors showing up uninvited. 

As she exits the bar, she spots Ishida leaning on the door on the passenger side while fiddling with his phone. He doesn’t seem to notice her as she approaches until she is one feet away from him. 

Surprised, he almost drops his phone from his grasp. “Rukia- _ san _ !” This is something he needs to get used to. Kuchiki Rukia moves around as quietly as a ghost even in her  _ gigai _ . He has been startled by her popping up behind him without a sound quite a few times in the past week that they’ve been living together. 

She snickers. “Sorry. You were so engrossed in your phone, I didn’t want to bother you.”

“That doesn’t mean you can sneak up on me. You’re going to need a pair of clogs before I get a cardiac arrest,” he complains, pushing himself off the car and opening the passenger door for her before he walks around to the other side. 

Rukia shuts the door after she gets in and puts on her seatbelt. “That’s a tad bit dramatic, don’t you think, Uryuu?”

Instead of replying, he mentally curses himself for making that first-name basis deal with her. This is also another thing he needs to get used to around her. The only people who have ever called him by his first name were his late mother and grandfather. His father hardly addresses him by name. Their conversations are infrequent and when they do talk, it is always straight down to business.

Ishida has never gotten close to anyone, neither has he ever let anyone get close to him. Even when he was preparing to ask Inoue out all those years ago, he was careful to give himself a wide margin for rejection. He was heartbroken, of course, but he reminded himself that it was to be expected because the girl never gave him a second glance, anyway. 

Regardless of how very ‘careful’ he is about all these -- constantly keeping on guard because he is not willing to be close to someone and end up disappointed, Kuchiki Rukia has managed to sneak into his personal bubble, as subtle and as silently as only she could be. In just. One. Week. Who the hell does she think she is?

“You okay?” Rukia asks when he remains quiet during their drive home. “Did I interrupt something when I almost gave you a heart attack?”

Despite himself, Ishida chuckles, “I was texting my end of a report to my medical team about a patient we’re currently dealing with. Was about done when you showed up.”

“All right,” she says with a nod. “But seriously, you don’t have to pick me up all the time. I know you’re busy and I can find my way home on my own.”

Ishida shrugs. “If I’m done with work, I can always swing by. The bar is on my way home, anyway. I’ll let you know when I can’t. Like this coming week, starting Wednesday, I’ll be on night shift. So I’ll have to be at the hospital by 6.30 pm and work ‘til 2.30 am. But I would usually stay there for another two or three hours for paperwork.”

“Don’t worry about it. The public transport here is reliable. I’ve been learning a few things last week.”

“Yeah, but it can be quite dangerous walking from the bar to the train station,” he tells her. Their apartment is situated in a very safe location. It’s the place where the bar is that he is most concerned about. At night, there are all kinds of dodgy characters loitering around the area. It’s not uncommon to hear of midnight robberies even by the roadside where traffic is never totally quiet there. 

“If anything happens, I’ll just leave my gigai to my assailant and float back to our apartment.”

“And let people find your dead body in a dark alley the next day?” he asks in disbelief.

Rukia bites her bottom lip, suddenly feeling stupid. “Oh, right. I forgot about that,” she titters. “But I can fight, remember?”

“Not if there are five or six of them with weapons, you can’t. I think you should get a taxi or something for when I can’t go and get you. Or can you get a lift from your colleague?”

The  _ shinigami _ rolls her eyes, quite insulted by Ishida’s lack of confidence in her fighting skills. Why is he such a worrywart? She has killed several powerful Arrancars and let’s not forget that As Nodt dude who also doubted what she could do to him. “My colleagues don’t live anywhere near us. I’ll think of something, all right?”

Ishida does not answer. He doesn’t think it’s all right but he suspects that this Ice Queen from Soul Society will not change her mind once she is set on something. He just hopes she isn’t too presumptuous for her own good. 

Not wanting to dwell on the topic, they both engage in an easy conversation the rest of the way home. Ishida talks about his day at work while Rukia lets him in on how she met Arisawa in the university. He isn’t at all surprised as he knows the  _ kendoka _ has been coaching in one of the universities. But he does have that uneasy feeling about what will happen when Ichigo or Inoue finds out from Arisawa sooner or later that Rukia is back here.

* * *

 

“Things are getting worse at home,” she says before taking a huge gulp of red wine directly from the bottle she bought on her way here. 

_ “Of course! How could you not have seen it coming?” _

“I thought I was doing the right thing! I thought I would be able to win his heart over once he sees that everything is okay between me and Kuchiki Rukia!”

_ “I told you your obsession in him would ruin you. You didn’t listen to me. In fact, you ignored me. If not for that Hollow incident, you wouldn’t have returned your focus on me.” _

“I’m sorry, Sora- _ nii _ . I promised I wouldn’t ignore you again. And I haven’t since. But I really love him. And he’s the father of my child.” 

_ “Hopeless. You don’t ignore me anymore but you also still don’t listen to me. He has never had any feelings for you. Forcing it would only make you look foolish. And now, you’ve reminded him about  _ her _ by bringing her back. How stupid can you get?” _

“I’m not stupid! I’m just in love with him. Everything I do is to prove that to him.”

_ “Well, good luck with that, little sister. You come back to this apartment to complain to me about all that’s going on in your household. Never once have you thought that maybe all these was a result of your own reckless deeds.” _

Her brother’s accusative voice cuts into her like a knife. She knows what he says is true. Like right now, she is supposed to pick up Kazui from the kindergarten but she told Ichigo she needed to do something urgent in the old apartment which she never got to sell before she moved in with him after their wedding. It’s been happening a lot lately -- her going back to the apartment ‘to clear her thoughts’. Especially since the party. She has even missed her appointment with Hajime- _ sensei _ yesterday in favour of talking to her brother. 

_ “You should set things right while you still can, Hime,” _ she hears him say in a quieter tone now but his expression remains as stern as she has seen him ever since she first saw him again after Kazui was born. 

She narrows her eyes at him. “And how do you suggest I do that?”

_ “Tell him the truth. Right from the beginning. The trauma. And your condition.” _

Inoue sneers at the man she used to look up to. “Telling him would destroy everything I’ve built for us and you know that. Obviously, you are not the brother I grew up with. My brother would never say things like that to me.”

_ “But your brother would want you to be truthful to yourself and the ones you love.” _

“I don’t care anymore. I’m losing him again and you’re no help at all when I come to see you.”

_ “I’ve been trying to make you see the things you have done. The things that have happened to you. Tell him the truth.” _

“Shut up!”

_ “Tell him the truth.” _

“I said, shut up!”

_ “Tell him the truth.” _

With a loud ear-splitting scream, Inoue throws her wine bottle at her bathroom mirror, shattering the reflection of her brother with it as the pieces of glass fall into the sink and onto the floor. The silence that follows is more deafening than all the voices that speak to her simultaneously in her head.


	7. Chapter 7

 

‘I’m home. Going out to patrol after shower.’

_ ‘So late? It’s 2.30 am.’ _

‘It’s a Saturday, Dragon. The bar closes late on weekends.’

_ ‘Oh, right. Taxi?’ _

‘Yessssss.’

_ ‘Sorry! See you at home.’ _

Rukia turns off her phone and heaves a long sigh as she falls heavily down on her bed. Ishida has been on night-shift the past two weeks and every night, he would call to check if she’s home safe if he doesn’t hear from her at a certain time. Most of the days, she beats him to it. Tonight, though, he must’ve forgotten that it was a weekend. The bar closes at 1.30 am on weekends. The other days, 11.30 pm. 

She is glad  _ Nii-sama _ has no clue about her nature of work in the world of the living. She doesn’t think she can deal with another sis-con in her life.  _ And I thought Ichigo was overprotective _ , she inwardly scoffs.

* * *

 

Ishida does not understand why he has to check up on the death god whenever he is not able to fetch her home from work. He thinks it’s probably because she’s staying in his apartment that he feels the need to make sure she’s safe. Like she’s commissioned under his care or something. 

He can tell she gets slightly miffed by his calls or texts by the way she replies although she tries not to let it show. Heck, even he is getting annoyed by himself. But his hand automatically goes for his phone at midnight to check if she has texted him. If she hasn’t, he would try to call. 

_ I don’t need this. The whole point of not getting close to anyone is so I don’t have to make unnecessary phone calls at ungodly hours of the night. This is the worst. I’m supposed to hate  _ shinigami  _ but now I’m calling and texting one more than I’ve ever done for anyone else ever since I got my first mobile phone more than ten years ago… in just three short weeks!  _ he berates himself as he opens the door to his apartment at 5.00 am after his last night-shift of two weeks. He’s been granted two days off until the next day-shift begins. He’s probably going to sleep the entire two days away. It’s the first time he’s had such a long break. One that he willingly accepts, that is. Usually, he’d still go back to the hospital to look for something to do. 

Shutting the door as he removes his shoes at the  _ genkan _ , he hears the sound of a Japanese alternative rock music playing softly from the dining area. “ _ Shinigami _ ,” he calls out, just loud enough to be heard in the still of dawn. All he gets is a hum of acknowledgement before he finds the girl bent over the table cutting a large fabric pinned under a pattern. He tilts his head to make out the shape of the cutting as he stands next to her and realises that it’s a for long bias skirt. “You’re majoring in fashion design?”

She nods, not bothering to look up. “Did you think I would make it as an artist of any other kind? I can’t draw a stickman to save my life.”

“Sounds fair,” he mumbles. 

That makes her straighten up to glare at him. 

“What? I’ve seen your drawings,” he smirks with a shrug. The look on her face tells him she is not amused. At all. Clearing his throat, he asks instead, “Why are you doing this instead of sleeping?”

She huffs and gets back to her shears. “Because there is only one machine free in the tailoring room from 9.00 to 10.00 later and I haven’t finished cutting. I’m afraid I won’t be able to wake up in time to do it. It’s due on Monday.”

“Could’ve told me earlier,” he says, disappearing into his bedroom. A few minutes later, he comes back to the dining table and places a  _ Janome _ computerised sewing machine beside the fabric she has just finished cutting. 

“ _ Kami… _ ” she gasps. The university doesn’t even use such a high-end machine in their lab. 

He chuckles. “Get to sleep. You can use this anytime you want,” he says with a yawn as he leaves her to return to his room.

* * *

 

Ichigo is surprised when Tatsuki shows up with his son at his door. He turns his wrist to check his watch and realises it is 4.30 pm, an hour since Kazui’s class has ended. 

His childhood friend shrugs, nudging the little boy into the clinic. “Hime told me to pick him up.”

“And did she tell you where she is?”

“Nope. Only that she has a huge order of cupcakes to deliver to some kid’s party at 5.00. So I suppose she’s at the apartment? That’s where she does all her home-baking, right?”

Ichigo nods, taking the school bag off his son and telling him to go upstairs to wash up. 

“What are we having for dinner?” Kazui pauses at the stairs to ask. 

“Yuzu- _ obachan _ is cooking  _ yakisoba _ tonight,” he tells him. Just a wild guess, actually. 

The boy yells excitedly as he runs up.  _ Yakisoba _ is his favourite food. Of course, anything by his aunt is better than anyone else’s cooking in this household. His mother can bake because that’s her profession but her cooking is just weird. And whenever his father cooks, he can only expect some kind of omelette dish with nothing fancier than onions in them. 

Tatsuki smiles, still standing at the door. That boy is exactly like Kurosaki Ichigo when he was five. Cries like him, too. 

“You want to come in?” Ichigo asks. 

“You’re done? No more patients?”

“The last appointment just left before you arrived. Go get some coffee or something in the kitchen. I’ll be right with you,” he says, making way for her to enter before closing the door. 

Tatsuki nods and wordlessly walks into the house while Ichigo returns to the attached clinic to close up. She sees Yuzu busy, preparing the buckwheat noodles. Ichigo was right about the  _ yakisoba _ , after all. 

The brown-haired girl greets her and invites her to stay for dinner with them. 

“I can’t. I postponed one of my classes to 6.30 so I could pick up Kazui. Sorry, Yuzu- _ chan _ .”

“It’s okay. There’ll be a next time,” Yuzu says. “You brought Kazui- _ kun _ home from school? It’s kind of late. Thought my  _ giri no shimai _ is picking him up today.”

Tatsuki takes a seat at the dining table and pours out a cup of tea from the teapot already prepared by Yuzu at the centre of the table. “I guess she has an urgent order she needs to deliver.”

Yuzu remains silent as she continues to work on her cooking. She doesn’t like to comment much about what’s going on in her brother’s little family but lately, she has a growing concern for her sister-in-law’s frequent absence. She helps out whenever Orihime asks her to and doesn’t question her because she loves taking care of her nephew. 

“How’s Karin- _ chan _ ?”

The younger girl sighs, glad for the distraction. “She’s doing well, coaching football in Osaka. Coming back for a couple of days next month to collect the rest of her stuff. Did  _ Onii-chan _ tell you she got her own place?”

Tatsuki shakes her head. “No. That’s good for her, isn’t it?”

“Yes. But that also means she won’t be coming back as often anymore.”

“Who?” Ichigo asks as he pulls out a chair opposite Tatsuki and also pours himself a small cup of tea. 

“ _ Onee-chan _ ,” his youngest sister replies, tossing the boiled noodles with the fried vegetables in the wok. 

“You’re all right with that, Ichigo?” Tatsuki arches a brow. He has always been overprotective of his sisters. She remembers how Karin had to fight with him before he would let her move to Osaka on her own. The way she sees it, Yuzu is definitely not leaving town. 

Ichigo shrugs. “What can I do? She’s stubborn but she’s proven that she can take care of herself the past three years.”

Yuzu rolls her eyes. “We  _ both _ can take care of ourselves better than you can. I’m not allowed to leave this house because you’ll all starve if I do.”

Tatsuki chuckles. There’s so much truth in what the girl says that it’s borderline pitiful. Isshin was the better cook after Yuzu but he couldn’t come back after the war because his massive  _ shinigami _ powers returned in full force. He is currently running the revived-Shiba clan in Soul Society. Sometimes, he would visit the world of the living but he can’t stay for too long.

There is silence in the kitchen as the two childhood friends take quiet sips of their tea with the sizzling sound of the noodles as their background music. After a while, Yuzu turns off the stove, scoops the  _ yakisoba _ into a huge serving bowl and leaves it on the dining table. 

“I’m going to take a shower,” she declares, removing her apron. “Scoop some for Kazui- _ kun _ when he comes down,  _ Onii-chan _ .”

They listen as her footsteps travel up the stairs, the tension in the room grows as they get softer until they couldn’t hear her movement anymore. That’s when Tatsuki decides to speak up. 

“Do you know if Hime still visits Hajime- _ sensei _ ?”

Ichigo sighs and leans back in his chair, crossing his arms over his chest. “He called a couple of times to ask why she missed his sessions.”

“Did you ask her about it?”

“Nope.”

Tatsuki frowns at her friend. “Why not?”

“Because it’s not something she would tell me. And I thought she was getting better.”

“Ichigo, Hajime- _ sensei _ told us right from the beginning when she had her first psychotic break that she cannot miss a session unless she has a valid reason and one of us is there with her. By not attending a therapy session without us knowing, she’s actually withdrawing from treatment on her own. Do you know if she takes her medication?”

Ichigo’s minute-long silence frustrates Tatsuki. She knows the couple does not communicate well with each other but she always hopes that Ichigo would at least try to work on it, being the one that is mentally stable between the two. 

“Have you noticed anything different with her lately?”

The orange-haired man shrugs. “She seems to get a lot of orders for her home-baking side business. Sometimes, she drops me a text to tell me she would go straight to the apartment after she finishes off at the bakery. Then, I would have to fetch Kazui myself.”

Orihime works at a well-known bakery in Karakura town. But she does special orders for customers who want personalised catering for parties as well. She has her own baking equipment at her old apartment because she doesn’t want to get in Yuzu’s way in the kitchen at home. 

“I don’t understand why you would let her do her baking there. She should’ve sold that place a long time ago. That’s where it all first started,” Tatsuki grumbles. 

“Tatsuki, that place belongs to her. She inherited it from her brother. I have no say in it. How do you force someone to give up something they hold dear to themselves?”

“But you know if she doesn’t get rid of the apartment, she will never get rid of the hallucinations. Every time she tells me she has spoken to him, I know she doesn’t take her medication. I can’t check up on her all the time, Ichigo. You’re her husband. You need to make sure she does not get back into one these episodes.”

“Don’t you think I’ve tried? Three times, Tatsuki. Three times, she almost signed the sales and purchase documents for the sale of the apartment. And three times, she walked out of the lawyer’s office without a stroke of her name on them. And I can’t keep checking her intake. She may be unstable but she’s smart enough to flush the dosage down the toilet if she doesn’t feel like taking them. The only thing I can do is make sure Kazui is not around when she has a breakdown. I can’t let him see his mother like that,” Ichigo insists. 

Tatsuki stares up at the ceiling. It tears her apart to know that her two closest friends are going through such an ordeal. She knows she can’t blame Ichigo for everything. Despite the fact that he has entered the marriage without having any feelings for Orihime, he really has tried to be supportive of her treatment for schizophrenia. 

It all started with her mumbling to herself even when she was still in high school. Tatsuki used to think that it was quite adorable that the little bubbly girl talks to herself when she’s excited about something. But after coming back from Hueco Mundo, the auburn-haired girl confided in her about a strange man she was quite fond of -- whom she thought she cared deeply for. It went on for six months, all these talks about a guy with permanent streaks of tears down his cheeks who showed no emotions but she worried about him and even had nightmares that he was killed by a two-horned Ichigo several times. Tatsuki didn’t understand a thing. She was just there to listen to her because she knew Orihime needed someone to do that for her. 

Tatsuki thought her friend’s condition couldn’t get any worse after the Quincy war. She would receive calls from the Inoue apartment where Orihime kept crying, “The knife broke! I can’t put them back together! Tatsuki- _ chan _ , what do I do?” That’s when Tatsuki started making appointments with a psychotherapist for her but Orihime kept cancelling, saying she was busy with finals and assignments and whatnots. 

The first major psychotic episode happened a week after Kazui’s birth. Tatsuki rushed out of the  _ dojo _ when she got a call from a frantic Ichigo who said Orihime was missing and their newborn had been shrieking for two hours. He told her to look for Orihime while he went out to buy formula. It was a lucky thing that Yuzu was back from school that day to help look after the baby. 

Tatsuki knew the only place she would find Orihime was at the apartment. And she did. It was horrible. She found her talking to the bathroom mirror. When she pulled her away, Orihime insisted that her brother had returned to her. She was hospitalised for two weeks following that incident and has been on several types of antipsychotic medications since. Her therapy sessions started off as day-treatments where Hajime- _ sensei _ would make sure she took her medication and get her to talk to him. After six months, they gradually reduced the frequency of her sessions to three times a week, twice, and now, two hours every Sunday. 

For the past four years, there hasn’t been any relapse or occurrence of any episodes. So, they reckon she has been faithfully taking her medication. Lately though, her last minute change of plans and sudden disappearance have been worrying. Tatsuki wishes she knows what’s going on but Orihime seems to be withdrawing even from her -- the best friend she keeps no secrets from. She can’t imagine how it is with Ichigo.

“Look, Tatsuki, I’ll go through her medication with her tonight. Maybe she’s been too busy with all the extra orders that she doesn’t realise she misses her dosage. If she has only one delivery to make, she should be home soon,” Ichigo tells her, trying to sound as convincing as he could. But even he isn’t so sure himself. For one, he has no idea how he’s going to talk Orihime into letting him see her charts without sounding suspicious. 

The  _ kendoka _ nods in a resigned manner. That’s all she can expect of Ichigo. Orihime can be quite stubborn but if he can at least make sure she takes her pills, that’s good enough to get her back on track. “Crap. I’m late for my class. Kuchiki is not going to like this because I was the one who postponed our session,” she blurts as she gets up from the table to leave his house. 

Silence.

_ Fuck… _

“What did you say?” The words tumble out of Ichigo’s lips in staccato. 

_ Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. _

* * *

 

“What’s that smell?” Ishida asks, coming out of his bedroom in a t-shirt and basketball shorts after a whole day of sleeping on Monday. 

“I cooked.” Rukia shrugs as she places two bowls of omurice on the counter. It’s funny how they still haven’t used the new dining table for meals. 

The man takes a seat opposite her and quirks a brow. “You can cook?”

“Of course, I can,” she huffs, obviously offended. 

Ishida chuckles. “All right. What’s the occasion?” he asks as he takes a mouthful of the rice with his chopsticks, nodding in surprised approval of the taste.  _ Not bad. This noble princess  _ can _ cook.  _

“Managed to submit my assignment today. So I just wanted to thank you for letting me use your machine.”

“Okay. But I’m going to let you use it from now on because I hardly have the time to do any sewing these days. So does that mean you’ll be cooking every time you make an outfit?”

“No! I’ll buy it from you, if that’s the case. This model is currently out of stock,” she says.

Shoving more rice into his mouth, he nods again. “Sure. Just pay me with food.”

“Uryuu!”

“Eat your rice or I’ll take my second instalment from your bowl right now.”


	8. Chapter 8

 

The doctor’s lounge at the hospital is quiet, with one or two doctors coming in each time to grab a quick drink before heading out to their busy workstations again. No one really pays much attention to the girl in a pair of dark blue jeans and a black baby-T, with her raven hair tied up in a big lump of messy bun and a backpack by her foot. They must think she is a teenage daughter of one of the older doctors. 

Rukia was surprised when Ishida’s colleague showed up earlier at the bar to pick her up. At first, she refused to let the young man take her to the hospital, arguing that she could just take a train back home because it’s not midnight yet. But the timid and nervous look on the poor guy’s face was enough to convince her not to get him into trouble with her roommate. 

_ ‘Got an emergency surgery to assist. Sending someone to take you to the hospital. Wait for me at the lounge,’ _ read Ishida’s text when she finally turned on her phone in the car.  _ His _ car. The kid was driving Ishida’s car. Rukia huffs when she recalls the silent ride to the hospital. She didn’t even get the name of the errand boy and hasn’t seen him since he showed her to the doctor’s lounge 20 minutes ago. 

Left with nothing to do, Rukia is forced to remember what happened at the  _ dojo _ today. Arisawa came in later than the time she postponed their training session to, her face solemn as she asked Rukia to have a seat on the bench. 

_ “Is there something wrong? If you can’t train me today, it’s fine. I’ve got to get to work by 7.45 at the latest,” Rukia says, sitting down next to the  _ kendo _ coach.  _

_ Arisawa drags a long sigh. “Kuchiki, I’m sure you’ve noticed that I’ve been trying not to bring up the Kurosakis to you since you came back.” _

_ Rukia nods, waiting patiently for her to continue as she acknowledges the conflicting look on Arisawa’s face.  _

_ “I’ve also tried not to mention you to any of them,” she says, staring right into Rukia’s violet orbs. “But I accidentally let your name slip this evening when I was talking to Ichigo.” _

_ “Oh…” Rukia remains unsure if she should be expecting it to be a bad thing. She knows something like that is bound to happen and sooner or later, it can’t be avoided that they will cross paths. But as far as she is concerned, there shouldn’t be an issue anymore. They are all leading separate lives. She’s here as a  _ shinigami _ assigned to watch Karakura, and Ichigo and Inoue are old friends of hers who are leading normal human lives now. Of course, she will try not to run into them because of the awkwardness but if it happens, then it can’t be helped. There’s nothing anyone can do about it, right? But, “Is there going to be a problem?” _

_ Arisawa tilts a corner of her lips in a tight smile. “With the way you’re handling things, from my observation, the problem is not with you. But I need to give you a heads up on what to expect if you do run into each other or something. We’re all friends and you were comrades during the war. I think you should know a few things to have a clearer picture of what’s been going on in their lives.”  _

_ “Okay…” _

_ Arisawa proceeds to explain to Rukia what she knows of Orihime’s condition and all the treatment she is getting. She also tells her of the recent change of behaviour of the former flower-spell wielder which worries them but no one really knows what’s going on because she isn’t saying anything.  _

_ “I was quite surprised Hime knew of your promotion in the first place. From what I know, she and Ichigo have not been in contact with anyone from the spirit world in a long time since they’ve both lost their powers after the war,” Arisawa admits.  _

_ Rukia ponders on what she’s just heard as she leans back on the wall behind her. It’s a lot of information for her to take. She can’t imagine what it must be like for Ichigo to have to put up with all that. A part of her feels guilty for pushing him to marry Orihime when they found out she was pregnant but another part thinks it was a good thing that she did. Orihime wouldn’t have been able to raise Kazui on her own in her condition.  _

_ Arisawa places a hand on Rukia’s shoulder in uncertainty. “I’m sorry I put this all out on you right now, Kuchiki. Just thought you should know, in case Ichigo decides to look for you now that he knows you’re in town. I know how he believes he has that special bond with you and you seemed to be the only one who could ever keep him in line. I managed to tell him his focus should be on Hime and their son. But, you know how he is, sometimes. He can get irrational when he’s out of his wits.” _

_ “I understand, Arisawa. Thanks for telling me. I think it’s a good idea that you did. In fact, if I can be of any help -- without making things worse, that is -- do let me know,” Rukia says, gripping Arisawa’s hand on her shoulder reassuringly.  _

_ Inclining her head, Arisawa sighs. “I’m really worried about them. But I must say, Ichigo has held his end well all these while. They don’t talk much but he’s been a very responsible and supportive figure as the head of their little family.” _

_ “That’s the man I know him to be, Arisawa. I’m glad he is doing all he can to take care of them,” Rukia says. “Does Ishida know about this?” _

_ “Ishida?” Arisawa asks with a raised brow. “We haven’t heard from him in a long time. I mean, we know he’s a doctor at the Karakura Hospital but he drifted apart from us so many years ago. The only one who probably has any contact with him is Sado. Why did you ask?” _

_ Rukia nips at her bottom lip and tells her coach. “I’m actually living with him.” _

_ For a moment there, Arisawa just stares wide-eyed at her without saying anything. And then, a hint of a smile appears on her face as she nods curiously. “This is interesting...” she snickers.  _

_ The  _ shinigami _ arches a brow at the woman in front of her. She is about to ask what Arisawa means when she gets a call from Harukami who needs her to open the bar tonight as she will be a little late. Rukia excuses herself and leaves the  _ dojo _ to head to work early.  _

The entire time she was working, Rukia managed to keep herself busy and not think about the conversation she had with Arisawa. But now that she’s just sitting here, waiting for her roommate to be done with  _ his _ work, she replays in her head all that she was told earlier. Her heart goes out to them. Ichigo must be going through a tough time taking care of both Orihime and the little boy. 

The door opens for the umpteenth time since she arrived but this time it is Ishida who comes in, freshly showered with his bag over his shoulder. “Sorry. Ready to go?”

Rukia nods and follows him all the way out to his car. They both remain silent on the ride home, Ishida must’ve sensed something amiss with her mood and she is grateful he doesn’t bring it up yet. But she has already decided she would tell him about Orihime. Maybe when they get home later.

* * *

 

The doctor drops by a small 24-hour diner around the corner from their apartment and picks up two cheeseburgers for them. He doesn’t ask her if she wants one. He knows she never turns down food. 

When they reach home, Rukia wordlessly heads to the shower as Ishida replies his emails while waiting for her to join him in their midnight snack. It’s easy how they both fall back to their old routine from before he went on night-shifts two weeks ago; as if they have been doing this for years. Ishida grows uncomfortable sometimes when he thinks about how effortless it is to live with this petite girl but he quickly shakes it off as him overthinking a simple carrying-forward-in-life kind of thing. Carrying forward. Not moving forward. There’s a difference, somehow, somewhere. Although, he does not quite understand it himself. 

When he told the young houseman to help him get Rukia from the bar, he didn’t even put much thought into it. He remembers thinking he has to make a different arrangement to pick her up when he was paged to the operating theatre. So he grabbed the first available off-duty staff that walked past him and shove his car key towards him.  _ “I need you to help me pick up someone at Nichibotsu Bar at 11.30 pm. Look for Kuchiki. Tell her I asked you to. Take her to the doctor’s lounge so she can wait for me there,”  _ he said. Just like that. 

But he realised too late that the houseman has gotten the wrong idea when he returned the car key to him outside the shower room with a,  _ “Your girlfriend’s in the lounge, waiting for you, Ishida- _ sensei _.”  _ There were a few other male staff, minding their own business and getting ready to leave the hospital. All eyes turned towards him when they heard what the houseman said. Eyes that twinkled with interest. He shot them a glare to shut them up. 

He sends his last email just as he hears the shower turn off. A minute later, the death god ambles out into the kitchen with her hair up in a towel turban. She is dressed in a t-shirt with the word ‘Superdry’ across the front and a pair of short running pants that give way to endless long legs. It baffles him how human she looks all the time. No one would expect this tiny girl to be someone who could destroy a monster a hundred times her size in a graceful sword dance. 

“Is everything okay?” he finds himself asking, forgetting to wait for her to initiate the break of the tension. 

Rukia picks up the cheeseburger from his proffered hand and gives him a glance before unwrapping the burger. “Can I tell you after I’m done with this?” she asks. 

“Sure.” He nods, feeling a little heat rush up the back of his neck. His own impatience puzzles him. Isn’t he usually quite laid-back? Maybe it’s his lack of practice in the social conventions area. 

The two eat in silence, with only the rustling of the wrappers and the occasional sound of the crickets outside to accompany them. Rukia gets up to pour them both a glass of water each once she is done. She places the glasses on the counter but Ishida picks them up and motions for them to sit on the sofa instead. He has a feeling she has a lot to talk about.

Settling at the opposite end of the two-seater, facing the television, Ishida puts the glasses on the coffee table and leans back. By then, Rukia has removed the towel from her head and is attempting to dry her long, wavy locks with it. His body turns slightly towards her as he waits for her to speak. 

“Arisawa told me some stuff about the Kurosakis today and I think you should know, too,” she says, still dabbing at the ends of her hair. 

He gives her a passive look, interested enough to know but not interested enough to care. 

Rukia clears her throat before she continues, “Orihime is suffering from schizophrenia. She has been on medication for five years but recently, she seems to be withdrawing from treatment.”

“Why was she telling you all that? It doesn’t concern you,” is his response. 

“Orihime is our friend, Uryuu.”

“Yeah, but you were there weeks before the wedding, you were there at the party, and you’ve been training with her for two weeks. Why is she telling you this now?”

Rukia shrugs. “Maybe because Orihime doesn’t want anyone else to know? Maybe Arisawa is growing concerned because she just started to miss her medication and therapy appointments.”

“All right.” Ishida nods. “But why do you have that look on your face?”

“What?” Rukia furrows her brows. “What look on my face?”

“That.” He gestures towards her with an open palm. “Like you’re the reason for her recent change.”

“How did you-? I do  _ not _ have that look on my face.”

Ishida scoffs. “You have been wearing the expression of someone who just squashed a puppy ever since I saw you at the lounge.”

Rukia’s frown deepens as she points to her own face. “That’s not what this is,” she contends. “I’m worried about her, too.”

“You’re also worried that she’s changed because you’re back in town.”

“Don’t be ridiculous!” she snaps before letting out a sigh. “Yes. Yes, that has crossed my… stop reading my mind, Dragon.”

Ishida smirks. He knows this part of Rukia because he has witnessed how she tried to protect him and Kurosaki when her brother and Abarai came for her. She hates it when people get hurt because of her. “You know it’s not your fault, right?”

Rukia nods with a huff. “But I can’t help thinking maybe it has to do with my presence here.”

“She doesn’t know you’re here, does she?”

The girl shakes her head. “But maybe it started when I came for the party?”

“You came because she invited you. Even if you’re right about your presence being the trigger -- which you’re not, you wouldn’t have known,” he tells her firmly. “And how did she know about your promotion, anyway?”

“That does not matter now. What’s important is she has been slacking off and if it started around the time of the party, then maybe it  _ does _ have something to do with me. And maybe I  _ can _ do something about it.”

Ishida shrugs. “If what you’re saying is true -- that she relapsed after you showed up in her life again, then she has brought it upon herself. So whatever it is, you are not at fault. You shouldn’t do anything about it, neither should you feel bad about it.”

“How could you say it like that? Don’t you care about her? As a friend, at least?” she stammers the last part, realising she is walking through a minefield.

“Friend?” he snorts. “She never wanted to be my friend in the first place. It was all because of Kurosaki. And before you ask… no, I don’t have feelings for her anymore. Got over that a long time ago. Just occasionally bitter about the stupid things I did for her.”

“Aww…” Rukia reaches out to squeeze his hand. “You were just a fool in love.”

“You’re having fun now, aren’t you?” he asks, his face still impassive. 

“What do you mean?” she blinks innocently. 

Ishida pushes his glasses up the bridge of his nose with his free hand, which feels off because it’s not the hand he usually uses for the gesture. “Whatever. At least you’re feeling better now. Even if it’s gained from my pain.”

“Oh, ho…” Rukia chuckles. “You were the one who made this about you, all of a sudden.”

“Pardon me for feeling a little left out…” the doctor grumbles, pressing her knuckles with his thumb. Urahara could make a fortune replacing silicon skins they use for suturing practice with  _ gigai _ skins. 

Rukia pulls away and backhands him on the shoulder. “Arse,” she chides, grabbing her glass of water and taking a long sip of it. “Anyway, there’s another reason why Arisawa told me about Orihime’s condition.”

“What is it?” Ishida asks, mimicking her actions. 

“She accidentally mentioned me to Ichigo.”

Finishing his water and watching her do the same, he eyes her carefully.

“What?” she asks, taking his empty glass from him as she rises from the sofa. 

“You’re all right with that?” 

Rukia shrugs. “It’s bound to happen sooner or later.”

He stands up and follows her to the kitchen where she washes the glasses. “You don’t have to see him if you don’t want to, you know?”

“There’s no reason for me to avoid him. He’s still a friend. And like you, I’ve moved on. I shouldn’t let it affect me anymore. And why does everybody think he will look for me?” she asks, turning around to face him after she places the glasses on the rack. 

“Because he’s Kurosaki Ichigo. The only reason he hasn’t looked for you is because he can’t sense your  _ reiatsu _ . He’s probably going to freak out when he finds out you’re staying here.”

“Come on. Give him some credit. He’s too busy looking after his family to go running off looking for an old…” she huffs and her lone, stray fringe flutters before getting caught in her right eyelashes. 

“Flame,” Ishida finishes for her, swiping the hair behind her ear. The OCD in him kicks in. 

“Friend,” she corrects. “There was never anything between us.”

“I don’t think he knows that. He was so pissed with himself he drove a hole through the wall. I know, ‘cos I was there.” He, too, crosses his arms.

Rukia visibly flinches. “It was a good thing you were.”

“Nope. I cleaned him up out of my duty as a medical student. What I really wanted to do was to wring the life out of him.”

“Well, I’m glad you were being an adult about it. And now, I’m trying to be an adult about all this, too. Which means, I will put all our past behind and be there for them when they need me.”

“You go ahead and be an adult.” Ishida lifts his shoulders lightly before he heads out of the kitchen. “But I’m not going to stand still and watch if he goes crazy and comes here, looking for you.”

 


	9. Chapter 9

**** It has been almost a month since Arisawa last spoke about the Kurosakis. Rukia doesn’t bring it up voluntarily, assuming everything to be all right with them. She still goes to the  _ dojo _ on Mondays and sometimes Fridays, if she gets an early day off from classes. 

Her life in the world of the living has pretty much settled into a routine by now. Ever since Harukami moved to the new bar, Rukia has been the one doing the closing every weeknight, just barely catching the last train if Ishida is on night-shift. On weekends when they close later, Nichibotsu himself would come in to wrap things up so Rukia does not have to stay later than she already has. Sometimes, he would also offer her a ride home when Ishida can’t pick her up, but most of the time she would call for a taxi. 

Tuesday is still laundry day, where she does it for the both of them if Ishida does not get his day off during the week. In fact, Tuesday is the only happening day in the apartment, because when Ishida works day-shift and comes back for dinner, the two would spend the entire night in front of the television until it is time for her to go out on a patrol. Rukia cooks dinner on Tuesdays because the bar is closed. On the weekends, she would cook lunch. 

Every day, she gets up early to prepare breakfast before she heads out to the university. Whatever meal she makes, she leaves them out for the busy doctor with the uncertain schedule for whenever he’s able to take them. And he leaves her a note on a square piece of paper under the fruit bowl she bought on her fourth week there --  _ “The dragon needs fruits to grow,” _ she said. The note never has the word ‘thank you’ on it but it bears messages that carry the same weight, with the addition of a painfully lame joke that can only be expected of Ishida Uryuu. 

Rukia leaves the major cleaning of the house to her neatfreak of a roommate, who does it on his days off. Other than that, she keeps the kitchen and bathroom clean after her use, and tidies up her bedroom like she always does back at the Kuchiki Manor. 

She still uses Ishida’s sewing machine for her projects. It seems to have earned a permanent place on the dining table since she has to submit at least one workpiece every week and sometimes a few sets of stitch samples. When Ishida is at home, he likes to sit at the end of the table, a book in his hands, while she is operating the machine. It’s the quietest machine ever invented but you can still hear the mechanical grind of the footer when the rest of the apartment is quiet. Rukia figures he misses that sound. 

Where her major is concerned, Rukia is glad to have Ishida around all the time. He is the best person to debate with when it comes to fashion design. He would even watch runway shows with her and tell her what he thinks of the designers, the materials, and the body types that sometimes do not match the outfit. He makes studying more interesting for her. And he’s a lot of help because he’s the only who understands that she is still trying to get accustomed to the practice of the world of the living. Others would probably think that she’s spent her years hiding in the cave before she came to Karakura. It’s already quite a struggle for her to keep up, despite how many magazines she has subscribed to and all the video commentaries she has to watch to learn about how fashion has changed over the past 2000 years. 

It seems the secondary part of her life is more eventful compared to her primary reason here as a  _ shinigami _ . She goes out on patrol every night -- and sometimes even during the day, just to make sure, as she leaves Chappy to take charge of her  _ gigai _ at work or at the university -- but there hasn’t been any Hollow activities around. All she’s been doing so far is perform  _ konso _ on the souls who have just passed on. And there aren’t that many in a town like Karakura. She wonders why Kyouraku- _ soutaichou _ wanted her here in the first place. He must’ve seen the records and heard the reports. Sending even a normal  _ shinigami _ would be a waste of time and resources. And she’s a captain. She could be more useful back in Soul Society. 

She communicates with Renji and Ichika once a week if they are available. The little girl is having a good time at the academy, making friends and pulling pranks, and does not seem to mind that the death god she calls ‘mother’ isn’t around all that much. Renji, on the other hand, occasionally hints to her that he misses her and wants to come down to the world of the living to see her whenever her brother lets him. Rukia chooses  _ not _ to take the hint and waves it off as something that would inconvenience him. She knows of his feelings for her and doesn’t want to lead him on because she only sees him as a brother, at most. 

After what happened with Ichigo, she doesn’t think she has the energy to even consider getting into a relationship with anyone. It’s cumbersome; this whole process of getting to know someone you think you might like, letting your heart do the thinking, caring for their emotional needs with everything you’ve got, and then left to wonder if they feel the same way about you to whether things will ever work out if you give it a go. The problem is not the effort you put into it. It’s quite the opposite because often times, the whole process happens without you being fully aware of it and when it doesn’t work out, you feel spent even though you thought you didn’t even do anything. It’s like someone else maxed out your credit card and now you’re the one who has to pay for it. 

The human life is so complicated. It’s much simpler being a soul. Every soul exists as long as the next. That means, all souls are of the same age. It’s when you’re reincarnated into a human body that all these complexities begin to take place. It’s mystifying how human relationships that last only one lifetime can have a sense of permanency, while relationships between souls that last many times longer seem very flitting. Sometimes, Rukia wonders if she and Ichigo ever worked out, would they have had a ‘forever’ relationship. Before losing his powers, Ichigo was like her -- a  _ shinigami _ soul that do not need to be reincarnated. Only souls in the Rukongai gets recycled. 

_ I guess I’ll never know... _ Rukia sighs. That’s the problem with Monday nights at the bar lately. Business is slow and there’s no Harukami to keep her company anymore. So she always ends up drifting away into her own world and having senseless monologues in her head even while her hands are on autopilot with her bartending tasks. 

Just as she is putting away the cleaned glasses, the door opens and she hears footsteps entering the bar. 

“We’re closed,” she hollers over her shoulder as she comes down from a step stool -- Nichibotsu got it for her because  _ “Harukami is not going to be here to help you with the taller chores.”  _ She turns around in time to see Ishida taking a seat at the counter in front of her. 

“I know,” he mumbles, joining his hands as he rests his elbows on the polished wooden top. 

One glance at the doleful look on his face and the slouch of his body tells her that something has upset him. “You need a drink?” she asks.

He shakes his head and Rukia thinks it could fall off if he puts just a little more energy into it. 

“All right. Let me get my stuff and we can go.” Grabbing her backpack, she rounds the bar counter before coming to stand before him as he gets up. “What’s wrong?”

Ishida releases a long, almost laborious breath. “Yakimura- _ san _ passed away this evening.”

“Oh, Uryuu…” Rukia lets her bag drop by her feet and wraps her arms around the beaten doctor’s torso -- a welcome and most needed gesture, it seems, as he returns the embrace, tucking her head under his chin. “I’m so sorry,” she whispers, giving the man a comforting squeeze. 

They stay like that for a while. Rukia is glad that he does not turn away the support she offers to him. He’s spoken to her about this lonely, old man who never wanted to leave the hospital because he lived in an empty apartment. His children were all gone and he was always hoping that death would take him away to end his misery. 

_ “Sometimes, I see myself in him. I know I’m going to end up alone. I have no plans of getting married and passing down the Quincy legacy, you know? And I’m prepared for it. But having to look at that kind of life -- dying alone -- in another person’s life… it’s kind of scary. And sad,”  _ Ishida told her once. She chastised him for having such a dark vision of his future but he just shrugged. 

“Are you sure you don’t want that drink?” she asks again, her voice muffled by the buttoned-down shirt he is still wearing and she noticed that he didn’t shower before he left the hospital like he would usually do. 

She feels his chin digging into the crown of her head as he nods. “I’m fine. Just need a little time to unwind.”

“Are you working tomorrow?”

“Nope.”

Rukia gets off his chest to gaze up at him. “We should do something, then. I don’t have any classes.”

“Okay…”

“Okay,” she huffs and removes herself from him. “You go wait outside while I lock up.”

Picking Rukia’s bag up from the floor, he exits the bar and does as he is told. The petite bartender makes sure to switch off all the lights before she leaves. She’s getting a hang of all these human habits and practices that she has procured over the past couple of months. Tonight, consoling a grieving doctor being a new addition to the list.

* * *

 

There is only so much a man can take. And right now, Kurosaki Ichigo thinks he has reached his limit. He curses his life and everything that revolves around it. He never signed up for any of these. And yet, he has to lug them over his shoulders like he came out of his mother’s womb, begging for them. 

There was a time when he thought that things were looking up, that his life was starting to make sense, and that the rain had stopped. But even all that got taken away. Like his mother. And his powers. And his father.  _ And especially her, _ he thinks bitterly. That was it for him. Nothing else matters after that. 

After putting his son to bed, he comes out to the car porch to wait for Orihime with a lighted cigarette between his fingers. It isn’t the first time she comes home late. But it is the first time he decides to confront her about her recent behaviour. She has been extremely evasive whenever he got the chance to ask her about her medication. Tonight, he is going to make her talk. 

As expected, she walks through the gate of the house at 9.30 pm. He can tell she is trying to be quiet about it but when she turns around and sees him there, a gasp leaves her lips and her steps are frozen where she is. 

“How’s business?” he asks, flicking the stick in his hand.

One second. Two seconds. “Good,” she replies with a nod. The night wind causes her knee-length skirt to flutter a little as she adjusts the strap of her handbag. 

“So good you have to come back this late every night?” At this point, he really cannot help the sarcasm anymore. He has always been plain and straightforward with her because she has such a simple mind that anything abstract just goes by her… a wasted effort most of the time. 

“There are some things I need to prepare overnight,” she says. No witty comeback. No argument. No aggression. That’s Orihime. Unlike  _ her _ .  

“Hajime- _ sensei _ called again.”

Silence.

Ichigo inhales his cigarette deeply before letting go of barely any smoke. He doesn’t like to waste. “You want to tell me what’s going on?”

Silence again. The headlight of a passing car casts a shadow upon her face. Ichigo thinks she looks almost Hollow-like there. He chides himself for thinking about the spirit world when the spirit world doesn’t even blink at him anymore. Only a lifetime financial support as compensation for saving the world. Pfft… it’s not money that he wants. It’s  _ her _ . 

Orihime shakes her head and starts walking towards him. “I’m tired. It’s been a long day.”

“You can’t keep avoiding the subject.”

She stops at the door and looks down in his general direction while he keeps his eyes straight ahead from where he is sitting on the steps. “I really  _ am _ tired, Ichigo. Can we talk about this another time?”

“Is there ever going to be another time?”

“Of course,” she stutters. “I… I just need to rest after a whole day of being on my feet.”

Ichigo exhales the last of his smoke and crunches the cigarette butt under his slippers. No point pushing if she refuses to tell him anything. He gets up and slips through the door, swapping his footwear for a pair of sneakers at the  _ genkan _ and goes out again. 

“You’re not coming in?” she asks. 

“I’m going for a walk.” Because going for walks is a better idea than going back into the house and climbing into bed with his son like he has been doing every night since Orihime’s withdrawal from the little boy. And then, he stops for a while before he tells her without looking back, “Go and see Kazui. He was looking for you the entire day.”

With that, he walks out through the gate and into the streets, with his hands shoved into the pockets of his pants. It’s been years since he wandered around Karakura town on his own like this. The last time he did, he ended up at Orihime’s apartment and whatever happened then changed his life forever. Only one good thing came out of it -- Kazui. Everything else is just a huge mess. 

As he passes by Karakura High School, he looks up at the window of his old classroom. He remembers how the midget appeared there after she returned from Soul Society. It was around that time that he knew he would live his life only for her. They never got around to saying anything to each other because of their  _ shinigami _ missions that came one after the other. But he knew it was there. The connection. The bond. The feelings. Even now, he wants to believe it’s all still there and he’ll be able to do something about it when he passes on from this world that he doesn’t want to live in anymore. 

Ichigo turns away from the school and lets his feet take him to a nearby park.  _ The _ park. Years ago, this was where all the memories of Hollow-hunting, late-night patrols, and arguing with a small person riding on his back came to him. And as he sits down on that exact same bench, he remembers why he keeps himself busy all the time. He loves those memories but he can’t dwell on them. He’s married to someone else and owes it to his family, especially his son, to leave his past behind. He cannot let those memories distract him from his responsibility as a father, because being attached to those memories that he cannot hold onto was what drove him to be the alcoholic that he was. And he hasn’t touched a drink since that horrific night. 

But it’s not easy not to think about something --  _ someone _ \-- that impacted his life in such a big way. It’s even harder ever since Tatsuki told him  _ she _ is back in town. Part of him wants to look for her because he misses the time they had together but another part tells him she  _ is _ the past he has to leave behind. It won’t be fair to his family if he does something brash like that. 

He doesn’t know how long he’s been sitting here at the park. Everywhere else has quieted down. The lights of the surrounding houses have been turned off one by one. As he gets up from the bench, he feels the urge to get a drink like all those years ago. His body inadvertently moves towards the bar he used to frequent to get his fix during his days as a medical student. It was a nightly routine back then. After he left the park with a head full of memories, he would go to the place where he would drink to forget the girl he yearned for. But failed miserably every single time. 

Nichibotsu Bar was a fairly new bar five years ago. It wasn’t like the other  _ izakaya _ that were patronised by old people. The owner was a coursemate of his who later changed his major to biochemical engineering instead of continuing with his medical studies. The bar was a gift from his rich parents because of his interest in bartending. 

As he approached the place, Ichigo remembers Nichibotsu’s didn’t open as late as the other bars because he was a student at that time. He wonders if that has changed because the guy should have graduated a long time ago. Turning his wrist, he checks his watch to see that it is already 11.30 pm.  _ It should be closed by now, _ he sighs. 

But just as Ichigo is about to turn away, two figures from within the bar catch his attention. He feels the lump growing in his throat and the pain striking at his chest as he recognises them to be Ishida Uryuu and Kuchiki Rukia, locked in a tight embrace. 

Going for walks has never been a good idea where Kurosaki Ichigo is concerned. 

  
  



	10. Chapter 10

 

It should be no surprise to Ishida that Kuchiki Rukia practises  _ kyudo _ with natural poise. She is a trained noble heiress who executes elegance in every task she undertakes and it matters not whether she’s an expert or an amateur at it. Everything is a form of art to her and she performs them with absolute finesse. 

She is currently standing in front of him in her ready position, placing the arrow against the bowstring. He watches from behind her as she turns her head to face the target which is 28 metres away from them. She raises the bamboo bow above her head, her back straight and her feet rooted to the floor in a ‘V’ shape to balance her entire body weight. As she spreads her arms, drawing the string with her right arm and pushing the bow with her left, she brings the bamboo down to her cheekbone. Once she reaches a full draw, her right hand releases the bowstring, sending the arrow spinning towards the target and piercing it with a thump. Rukia then lowers both her hands to rest on her hips, turns her body to fully face the  _ matoba _ where the targets are lined up and slides her feet a few steps back before she sits down in a  _ seiza _ . 

It is now Ishida’s turn and he does it exactly the way he used to do with his Quincy bow and Heilig Pfeil. When the shaft hits the target, he emulates Rukia’s closing gesture and sits down beside her.

“Not bad,” she comments. 

Ishida scoffs, “I should be saying that about you. It’s your first time.”

“I had a great coach.”

“Yeah, I can’t believe you asked to do this, of all things,” he says as both of them get up from the floor. They have had a few rounds in the past one hour after Rukia made him teach her ‘the way of the bow’.

“I’ve always wanted to try  _ kyujutsu _ . Never had the time to do it back at home because I have strict training hours when I’m not doing paperwork. Priorities, you know?”

“So what do you want to do next? Something you don’t usually fit in your ‘priorities’. We still have a whole day,” he asks as they arrive outside the changing rooms. Ishida is a sucker for traditional costumes and Rukia looks really good in her attire. Like a professional martial artist, even though today was her first time practising the Japanese archery. She’s a fast learner and quickly looks the part of an experienced archer. 

Rukia shrugs, her posture remains straight as she holds her quiver in a gloved hand and her bow in the other. The human world cannot take the discipline out of a warrior when they are dressed like one. “Did you reach  _ munen muso _ ?”

“Yes. I managed to empty my mind,” he smirks. “That was really thoughtful of you.”

“Is there anything else you want to do that will help elevate your mental state?”

“I'm fine. Don’t worry about me.”

Rukia doesn’t say anything for a while and just stands there looking back at him. Deciding, he thinks, if he is telling the truth. 

“I’m serious,” he affirms her when the silence begins to make him uncomfortable. Eye-contact isn’t something he is accustomed to. “Death is a reality that I cannot avoid every day of my life as a doctor. I’ve only started practising and I have many more years to go. Got to get used to it.”

The death god appears to be considering his reply before she suggests, “Well then, let’s get changed before we go grab a bite somewhere. I’m buying.”

Ishida nods with a smirk as they go into the respective changing rooms. He is pleased she lets his mental state issue go. She’s done enough for him and he appreciates it, including getting food to replenish the energy drained from acquiring his  _ zen _ .

When Rukia proposed this morning that he taught her  _ kyudo _ , he didn’t think much of it until he went through the steps himself and felt the calmness after emptying his mind. It was only then that he knew she was doing it more for him than herself. She probably wanted to be subtle in case she stepped on the Quincy pride he used to boast about. She  _ is  _ a  _ shinigami _ , after all, and probably understands all too well how a Quincy wouldn’t take advice from one. 

Ishida muses that she doesn’t realise, how after the war, he has kept that pride to himself. Being associated to a tyrannical king who wanted to rule over all three worlds for his own selfish reasons isn’t something to be proud of. And Ishida is glad he is the last of the Quincy race. That means he holds their fate in his own hands -- he is determined to be the last of them because the human side of him cannot bear to be responsible for another Quincy scheming to take over the world again.

* * *

Rukia knows what it’s like to lose someone. Shiba Kaien’s death alone was devastating enough. He was her mentor and the only person who truly put in the effort to make her feel at home when she first started as a  _ shinigami _ . It wasn’t easy because everyone else thought it was unfair that she, some loose soul from the worst part of Rukongai, could be adopted into one of the noble houses. Furthermore, she didn’t have to finish all her years in the academy before she became a  _ shinigami _ . But Kaien was always so supportive of her. 

Losing her former captain, Ukitake Juushiro was just as bad. He was also another person who was kind to her. His encouragement was what convinced her to replace Kaien as a  _ fukutaichou _ . And when Kyouraku- _ soutaichou _ appointed her to replace Ukitake- _ taichou _ , she knew she had to take up the role because he would’ve wanted that of her as well. But until this day, she still carries the grief deep within her. 

It is worse for Ishida. His job as a doctor is to cure. Watching his patients die would make him feel hopeless. Although, he’ll probably learn someday to accept the fact that he can’t save all the lives presented to him. Until that day comes, it will always be a stab in the chest for him every time a patient dies. 

While she was out patrolling last night, she thought about what she could do for him to help him get through the death of Yakimura- _ san _ . She knows she can’t make him forget his sorrow. But maybe she could think of a way for him to initiate the process of healing for his mental state on his own. 

That’s when the practice of martial arts came to her mind. All martial arts have a way of reaching the state of  _ zen _ through meditation. Through this method, he will be able to find peace with himself. She remembered the Quincy being an archer so he must have mastered  _ kyujutsu _ as a child. 

She also knew she couldn’t just tell him to go for a  _ kyudo _ session to help overcome his grief, though. He would probably dismiss the idea and say he was fine when he really wasn’t. So she devised a plan to get him to teach her instead. He can’t say ‘no’ to that, right?

And he didn’t. She is gratified to see how different he is from last night as she sits across from him at this breakfast cafe where they are having their brunch. 

Ishida’s phone rings just as he is about to scoop his rice and a barely-there scowl forms in his face. Rukia snickers at that. In the past two months she’s been living with him, he has never been thrilled about receiving phone calls. 

“Ishida Uryuu speaking,” he says when he picks up. He bears no expression as he listens to the person on the other end of the line talk. “Yes, I’m on leave… Basketball? No, I can’t.”

Rukia waves silently at him and when she gets his attention, she mouths to him that it’s okay for him to go.

He raises a brow as he looks up at her, still listening to the caller before he replies. “I’m busy the whole day.”

Again, Rukia tells him ‘it’s okay’, tapping the back of his free hand with her fingers.

Ishida sighs audibly into the phone. “All right. 5.00 pm it is.” And hangs up, glaring softly at her. 

She tilts her head with a victorious grin. “Go have fun. When was the last time you played with your colleagues?”

“Last week before I picked you up from work.”

“Oh…” she says as her smile turns sheepish. “But no harm playing again since you’re on leave.”

Ishida nods, picking up his chopsticks to resume eating. “No harm at all. You’re coming with me later.”

“What?” she almost shrieks. “I don’t know how to play!”

“Then, you’ll learn another sport today.”

* * *

_ “Any progress?”  _

“No. She refuses to talk about it.”

_ “Are you even trying at all?” _

“What do you think, Tatsuki? Kazui asks about her every day. I can’t keep telling him his mother is busy with work. Last night, he asked me something that made me want to hurl something against the wall. So I tried to talk to her when she got back but she kept saying she was tired,” Ichigo replies between clenched teeth, the hand not holding his phone in a tight fist as he remembers Kazui’s question:  _ “Is work more important than me to  _ okaa-san _?” _ Of course, he told his son ‘no’. Because no one should be more important than Kurosaki Kazui. 

_ “I’m sorry, Ichigo, I didn’t mean to sound so accusative,”  _ Tatsuki sighs apologetically.  _ “I did call her yesterday, though. And she told me she was in the middle of frosting or something like that. But she sounded like she had just woken up. Maybe you should go and check on her at the apartment.” _

Ichigo nods, even though Tatsuki can’t see him. “All right. But I can’t go today. Yuzu is away at a camp this entire week. I have to fetch Kazui soon and I don’t want to take him to the apartment.” He never wants his son to step foot in that apartment where his mother always has her episodes. He doesn’t want Kazui to see his mother like that. 

“I understand. Look, let me try to reschedule my sessions later. Maybe I’ll be able to watch him for you,” Tatsuki offers. 

The doctor doesn’t say anything. He wonders if he’s the right person to go and look for her. There’s a small part of him that thinks he might make things worse. 

_ “Ichigo?” _

“Yeah…”

_ “You know you have to do this, right? I can’t go and check on her for you. She needs to know you care… as her husband.” _

“I know, I know. I just…” Ichigo inhales deeply. “I don’t know how to do this. It’s not something I’d normally do. I was so relieved that the treatment was working at the beginning because I knew I wouldn’t be good at this.”

_ “You’re doing fine and you’re doing it for Kazui. He needs his mother. Maybe you can think of her as another patient?” _

Ichigo pinches the bridge of his nose, feeling a migraine coming. “No. No, I shouldn’t. I  _ should  _ be doing what’s right for her because of who she is to me. Not some stranger.”

It is Tatsuki’s turn to be silent. She must be trying to absorb what he just said.  _ “It’s nice to hear you say that, Ichigo,”  _ she finally says. _ “I’m glad you’re putting in a lot of effort; despite, you know…” _

“Whatever it is, she  _ is _ family, whether I love her like that or not,” he confesses, surprising himself that he does. 

_ “Ichigo…”  _ And probably her, too. 

“I’m sorry, Tatsuki. What do you expect me to say? You know it’s never going to happen. I’ve lived with her for five years. We have a son together but it’s still nothing because I can’t… I don’t think I can or ever will feel anything for anyone ever again.” He has been very careful about this since Orihime’s diagnosis. He would’ve preferred to be honest with her but he can’t risk triggering her meltdown. Kazui needs his mother. So he avoids the issue like the plague. And to her credit, Orihime never brought it up. In fact, no one ever did. Everyone knows not to speak of the huge white elephant in the household. 

_ “I wasn’t expecting you to say anything. Just… thank you for wanting to care for her despite it all.” _

Ichigo thinks it’s curious that Tatsuki should have to thank him for caring for his own wife. But sometimes he is guilty for feeling like he’s doing Tatsuki a favour when it should be his own obligation as a husband to care for Orihime. You know how people say it’s not called babysitting if it’s your own child? What do you call caring for your own wife whom you were forced to marry? He does not think there’s a term for it. Because caring for your own wife is the whole deal of marrying her. And that’s what he has resigned himself to accept.

Especially now that even  _ she _ has moved on. 

* * *

“So all this name-calling…”

“What…” Ishida drawls. He is in the changing room with the doctors he played basketball with earlier on. They are all just waiting for their turns to get in the shower. Rukia is in the ladies’, or probably already done since she was the only girl playing with them. 

“C’mon, Ishida. In all of the years I’ve known you since we were coursemates in medical school, you have never been close with or interested in anyone. All of a sudden, this Kuchiki chick turns up and you’re calling each other names, but you’re saying there’s nothing going on?” Dr Tanaka says with a smirk. 

Ishida drags the sports towel over his sweaty face and grunts irritably. Everyone’s been asking him about Rukia since she stepped onto the court. He is getting so annoyed. Some people believed him when he said they are just friends and they left him alone after that. But there are some insistent ones like Tanaka- _ sensei _ who just doesn’t know when to quit. “That’s what I’m telling you.”

“Then, I call bullshit.”

“Call it what you want. She’s a high school friend of mine who has been away for many years. She came back two months ago and rents a room from me. That’s all,” he repeats the same thing he’s been saying for the past two hours. Heck, no one even cared who won the game. They were more interested about his relationship with Rukia. 

“Yes, you’ve said that. But the connection… we’ve been roommates before but you were never that comfortable around me if you claim she’s just a friend like I am to you.”

Ishida puts his glasses back on and glares at his colleague. “That’s because you’re an arsehole. And I never said you were my friend. What is your problem, anyway?”

Tanaka gives him a lopsided smile. “That hurt. A bit. Because you  _ are  _ my friend. And I’m just wondering if it would break the bro code if I asked her out.”

A shower stall opens and Ishida gets up from the bench. “You can try. But I don’t think she’ll be interested.”

The other man scoffs. “I  _ will _ try. One more question, though…”

Ishida pauses in his strides to the shower stalls to hear him out. 

“Why ‘ _ shinigami _ ’?”

The Quincy shrugs. “She’s an agent of death.” 

And Tanaka thinks he is being hilarious.

* * *

 

“Your colleague asked me out.”

Ishida hums, his eyes focused on the road ahead of him. They are on the way back to the apartment after picking up dinner from the usual place. 

“Is that how this dating thing works in the world of the living?” Rukia asks.  

“What do you mean?”

“You just ask someone to go out on a date with you after meeting the first time?”

“Kind of a Western influence but yes, that’s how it is.”

“Don’t you need to get to know the person first before you decide if you’re interested to date them?”

“Well, in this case, dating  _ is  _ getting to know the person. You go out with them, spend time with them to know them better,” he explains. 

“Weird. I always thought dating should start after you’ve come to know the person well enough as a friend.”

“That’s the conventional way, I suppose.”

“Huh… No wonder people think we’re dating.”

He snorts.  _ Tell me about it…  _ “So are you going out with Tanaka?”

“Nope,” Rukia replies within a heartbeat. 

Ishida chuckles. “Did he ask you why?”

“Yes.”

“What did you say?”

“I didn’t answer,” she begins and he doesn’t hear the full-stop so he waits. “But he asks if we were dating.”

Ishida grunts irritably. “What did you tell him?”

“Nothing. I smiled and walked away.”

“Rukia…” A warning tone in his voice. 

She snickers. “I’m glad I don’t have to deal with him anymore.”

“But  _ I  _ do!”

“I know, right? Sucks to be you.”

“You are going to be the death of me,” he grumbles as he parks his car in the designated parking space for their apartment. 

Rukia nods. “That’s why you call me ‘ _ Shinigami _ ’, Dragon.”

* * *

 

He arrives at the apartment to find the front door ajar.  _ That’s weird,  _ he thinks.  _ Why would she leave the door open?  _ As he pushes through, the old hinges whine in protest and Ichigo makes a mental note to put in some repair works to the apartment to show a little support for her side business.

Shutting the door gently, he hears her voice from within the bedroom and his brows come together in a tight knit.  _ Who is she talking to? _ Instead of heading there, though, he takes a peek at the kitchen and sees that there isn’t anything baking in her gas oven. The counter is also empty and it shows that there hasn’t been any activity there. At least, not today. 

Ichigo approaches the bedroom door with caution, wincing at the memory of what happened the last time he came here. He has never stepped foot in this apartment since then. This was where his whole life took a different turn.  _ Not exactly the time to think regrettable thoughts now,  _ he tells himself as he wrap a hand around the door knob. 

“That’s not fair. Stop blaming me for everything. You don’t know what it’s like to be alone,” she says, sitting at the edge of the bed with her back facing the door. Her face is turned towards the headboard.

The young doctor clears his throat before asking, “Who are you talking to?”

Orihime gasps as she stumbles out of the bed.

He remains standing at the open doorway, surveying the entire room. When his eyes fall upon the bathroom, he sees shards of glass littering the floor. A frown forms on his face. “Did something happen here?”

It takes her a while to answer, but when she does, she stutters like she used to years ago when she was always nervous around him. “W-what are you d-doing here, Kurosaki- _ kun _ ?”

Ichigo’s brows narrow further. She has not called him that since the day they got married. He remembers himself shrugging in acquiescence when she asked for his permission to address him by his first name. “I came to…” he pauses. He can’t possibly tell her he’s here to check on her, right? “I came to take you home.”

“Home?” she asks, quizzically. “ _ Your _ home?”

He realises then that she is probably not herself right now and he needs to figure out a way to bring her back. “ _ Our _ home,... Orihime.”

Tears well up in her eyes as she covers her quivering mouth with her hands, trying to control the sobs coming out of her.

Ichigo heaves a long sigh before he decides to tread slowly towards her, his hands fisted at his side. When he stops in front of her, he carefully draws her into his arms and let her continue to cry. Foreign as it may be, he knows he needs to perform the gesture to earn her trust. He hopes the physical contact will be able to snap her out of whatever she was doing earlier on. 

In the meantime, he looks around the room again. Everything is still where they are it seems. If they aren’t, he can’t tell because he didn’t notice much aside from the bed and the floor the last time he was here. But he does recognise the blouse and the skirt she wore this morning when she left the house. They are draped over the chair at the study table. 

“Are you ready to go?” he asks, gently pulling apart from her. 

She nods and inhales deeply, calming herself down. It looks like she has returned to the present. “But I need to change.”

Ichigo hums and walks back to the door, casting one more look at the bathroom and its mess. “I’ll be waiting outside.”

“Thanks, Ichigo.”

He shuts the bedroom door and pulls out his phone as he wanders into the kitchen. After a few taps on the screen, he puts the phone to his ear and listens until the person he is calling picks up.

_ “Moshi moshi.” _

“Hajime- _ sensei _ …”

 


	11. Chapter 11

 

_ “ _ Shinigami _ , I need you… hang on.” _

Rukia rolls her eyes as she waits for her roommate to continue what he is supposed to say. 

_ “Sorry. Call you later.”  _ With that, he hangs up on her.

The girl removes her phone from her ear and glares at it as if it is Ishida himself. She then opens her chat with him and texts, ‘What had you professing your need for me, Dragon? Going patrolling. Call me within the next two hours and all you’ll get is Chappy.’

Ishida is on a night shift tonight and as usual, Rukia has already texted him that she is home from work. Fifteen minutes later, she received a call from him -- something he has not done in a while since the last time, weeks ago, she threatened him that she will  _ “so change my number if you don’t trust that I can get home on my own” _ .

She waits for his reply for five minutes before she shrugs to herself.  _ It’s probably not that important, then,  _ she thinks. And leaves her  _ gigai _ to Chappy, who crawls into bed so her faux body could have her rest.

* * *

 

Ishida tries not to show his irritation at the nurse that is chattering beside him while he is filling out discharge certificates by the counter of the male ward. This woman has been bugging him for months. They have not shared the same shift the past few weeks and he has been so glad for that. But he knows he can’t avoid her forever. 

“I’m one of the few selected nurses attending the medical conference next week, Ishida- _ sensei _ ,” she tells him, oblivious to his exasperation at her presence. “I could be your date to the gala dinner on the final day.”

Ishida snaps up from the paperwork he is doing and narrows his brows at her. “What makes you think I need a date?”

The girl shrugs. “Well, I know you don’t have a girlfriend. And…”

“I’d usually go to these dinners on my own.”

“And now, you don’t have to!” she exclaims. The set of teeth framed by her bright red lips are blindingly white. There is always so much makeup on her face that some male staff speak of hiring her as a stripper for bachelor nights because she looks like one. “I got the organiser to put me at the same table as you so I might as well be your date, right?”

Ishida tries -- really hard, he swears, because it’s 11.30 pm and he is only halfway through his night shift -- not to pummel her with the endless case notes he has next to him.  _ She’s a girl. You don’t hit girls, _ he reminds himself. “I already have a date,” he blurts. It’s the less violent way of rejecting her. 

The nurse gasps, a delicate hand on her mouth as her thick, mascara-coated falsies flutter in disbelief. “Who?”

“You don’t know her,” he says, going back to writing those discharge documents. 

“But I checked with the organiser! They said you are not going with anyone.”

“Aoi- _ san _ , I’d appreciate it if you do not meddle with my affairs.”

“It’s Kuchiki, isn’t it?” Tanaka appears out of nowhere and throws an arm over Ishida’s shoulders.

The Quincy glares sideways at the other doctor. “None of your business.”

Tanaka chuckles and faces the flustering nurse. “He’s got this really hot bartender slash university student staying with him, haven’t you heard, Aoi- _ san _ ?”

The girl in question furrows her brows, turns on her heel, and leaves the doctors at the nurses’ counter. 

“You’re welcome,” Tanaka smirks, slapping Ishida on his shoulder as he removes his arm. “But Kuchiki best be there at the dinner or Aoi will know you’re lying.”

Ishida snarls, “You’re the one who’s lying. I don’t even know if there’s space at the table for her.”

“Then you should call the organiser to reserve a place beside you. Knowing how persistent Aoi is, she’ll probably swap seats with whoever is sitting next to you.”

Ishida hates to admit it but Tanaka is right and it’s going to be a long night for him if Aoi does sit beside him. She will be annoying him with her babbling the whole time. 

As Tanaka is being summoned to a patient’s bed, Ishida picks up his phone to make the reservation as suggested by the other doctor. It’s a good think he knows a member of the organising committee from a previous A&E team assignment. He is relieved that there is still one extra seat at his table and quickly tells them that he is bringing a plus-one… before it dawns on him that next Friday is in fact a working night for Rukia. 

So he calls her up to ask if she could get the night off, knowing she should be at home by now even though he hasn’t checked the text she sent to him a few minutes ago. He doesn’t get far with the conversation, though, when he is called to the OT for an emergency surgery.

* * *

 

There were two souls to perform  _ konso _ on the night before and Rukia found out that they have passed on quite some time ago. When she told them she was sending them to Soul Society, they begged to stay a few hours more to pay their last visit to places which were nostalgic to them when they were still alive. So she combed the entire Karakura to make sure that there were no Hollows going after them and only managed to get home at 6.30 in the morning, where she passed out the minute she returned to her  _ gigai _ .

Having no morning classes today, she chooses to sleep in and wake up right before noon. Ishida is probably still asleep as he was on a night shift.  _ Speaking of the Quincy… _ Rukia grabs her phone from the nightstand and checks for his reply. And there it is: ‘ _ Talk to you at home.’ _

She lets out a yawn her Kuchiki self would usually refrain from doing in public and drags herself out of bed to wash up.  It’s Friday and the only thing she is really looking forward to today is her training with Arisawa. She finds her only class today, The History of Fashion Design boring because her lecturer speaks in a monotonous voice and no one listens to him. 

The bar is going to be busy and will end late since it’s the start of the weekend. Her only consolation is that Nichibotsu has hired a part-time bartender to help her on Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. He is also a student but he has had some experience at bartending from before. 

Rukia exits her bedroom in her baby-T and jogging shorts -- what she always wears at home -- and saunters towards the kitchen to prepare lunch. Ishida usually wakes up an hour after she does so she has a little bit of time to cook something instead of calling for a takeout. As she checks the fridge to see what they have, she hears someone clears their throat from the dining table. Her immediate reflex is to reach for her  _ zanpakutou _ as she straightens up, which is silly, considering she is not in her soul form. 

“Kuchiki- _ san _ ?” comes a gruff voice. 

It takes a while for her to register who the person is because she has not seen him in years but when she does… “Sado- _ kun _ !”

Ishida appears from his room at that moment and glances at the two sheepishly. “Oh, that’s right…”

“You’re awake,” Rukia states, cutting him off.

Sado raises a brow, probably waiting for an explanation judging by the surprise on his face when he greeted her earlier. 

“Yeah, got up this morning to pick Chad up from the train station. He’s back here for a visit,” Ishida explains, rubbing the back of his neck -- and are those pink...

“Kuchiki- _ san _ lives with you?” Sado asks, seemingly amused by that. Right… so Ishida is embarrassed? Because the tint on his cheeks is getting redder. 

The doctor nods curtly. “Yes, she’s renting a room here,” he says and proceeds towards the kitchen. 

Rukia smirks, her eyes follow his movement when he passes her.  _ Unbelievable, _ she thinks.  _ Ishida Uryuu gets embarrassed that easily? Where has the Quincy pride gone? _ “Well, yeah. I’ve been staying here for over two months now,” she tells Sado as she tries not to let  _ her _ amusement show. Not an easy task. She has to bite her lower lip to keep from snickering at her rattled roommate. 

Ishida busies himself with the kettle, while Rukia returns to look into the fridge. He retrieves three cups from the top cabinet and places them on the counter before he reaches for the can of tea leaves beside the fridge. 

Rukia catches him stealing a look at her and she flashes him a mischievous smile, earning her a rare Ishida Uryuu eye-roll. She lets out a snicker before she decides to break the awkwardness. “Chicken teriyaki for lunch?”

“Sure,” he replies, getting back to his tea-making. 

“Kuchiki- _ san _ is cooking?” 

Rukia chuckles. “Yes, Sado- _ kun _ . And please, just Rukia.” 

“Because Kuchiki makes her feel old, which she is but refuses to acknowledge,” Ishida comments. 

Rukia likes that Ishida has gotten to know her well enough to crack jokes like that. She doesn’t get offended by this whole ‘age’ thing because she knows the truth about human existence. “Technically, we’re all the same age.  _ Humanly _ , you’re older than me. I was a baby when I died. And now I’m in the  _ gigai _ of a 21-year-old,” she says, her hands busy with the marinade. 

Sado chuckles. “You don’t look 21, Rukia- _ san _ .”

“She looks like a brat,” Ishida quips. 

Rukia gasps and glares incredulously at her roommate while Sado laughs louder at the exchange. And she thinks it’s nice that the three of them -- comrades from a war that almost ended the world -- are sharing a light moment. But she misses the other two and wonders if it would’ve been the same if they were here. She doubts it. Ishida probably thinks so, too. However, she is thankful for Sado, who is the neutral one among them. 

It takes 40 minutes for her to finish cooking the teriyaki dish and the three enjoy a mostly silent -- but comfortable -- meal; except for the few times Sado asks her about what she’s doing in the world of the living, that is. And the dining table is finally used for eating instead of sewing. 

She is about to take the dishes to wash when Ishida scoops them off her and demands she gets ready for her class. “What about you? Don’t you have work?” she asks, a scowl on her face. 

The doctor chuckles. “Not until this evening and besides, I’m driving you there.”

“I can get there on my own.”

“It’s just this once,  _ Shinigami _ . I’m dropping Chad off there, too.”

“Oh?” She glances over at the silent giant who has moved to the couch. He looks up and smiles. 

“He’s going to start coaching MMA in your university next month,” Ishida replies.

“Whatever happened to your professional boxing career, Sado- _ kun _ ?” she asks. 

The man shrugs. “I didn’t feel comfortable about it after that one match. So I quit. Tatsuki- _ san _ put in a word for me and got me this job.”

Rukia nods before she realises she has forgotten to book the  _ kendoka _ for a session this evening. “ _ Kami _ , I need to call Arisawa,” she exclaims and excuses herself to her room. 

It doesn’t take long for the other girl to answer and when Rukia asks her if she could train her today, she is told she has to schedule it for another time. 

“Is everything all right, Arisawa? You’ve been shifting your training sessions a lot lately, especially the evening ones. And it’s not just mine,” Rukia asks with concern. 

Arisawa is silent for a while before she finally speaks up again,  _ “Kuchiki, Hime was admitted to the psychiatric ward two weeks ago. Ichigo and I are taking turns to see her. We are only allowed to do so during visiting hours. He goes there early in the morning and noon time. But he has to take care of Kazui in the evening, so I’m there to accompany her for dinner.” _

Rukia is taken aback by what she hears. She honestly thought everything was okay with them because Arisawa has not mentioned them since the first time she spoke to her about Orihime’s condition. And it never showed on the kendoka if something was bothering her. “I’m so sorry to hear that, Arisawa. Is there… is there something I can do to help?”

She hears Arisawa sigh into the phone.  _ “At the moment, I think it’s best if it’s just me and Ichigo. He’s not too keen on people knowing about her condition and I’m pretty sure she feels the same. We do not know what could trigger her. The good news is that she is responding well to the new medication they are giving her and she has two therapy sessions a day to keep her busy.” _

“That’s good. I hope she gets better soon. I can’t imagine how much her son must miss her,” Rukia says. 

_ “Ichigo has brought him there to see her on weekends where the visiting hours are longer and the patients are allowed to spend more time in the garden. But yeah, the boy looks for her every day after school. It’s heartbreaking to watch, especially when he has had a bad day in school and needs his mother.” _

Even Rukia’s heart breaks at that. She remembers how attached Kazui was to his mother at the party three months ago. If he’s anything like Ichigo, the boy will probably grow up sulking and dragging his feet like him after Masaki passed away, too. The former  _ shinigami-daiko _ was a mama’s boy. “How’s Ichigo?”

_ “Tired,” _ Arisawa replies.  _ “He says Kazui wakes up crying for Hime at night. And he has to work during the day so he doesn’t get much rest.” _

“Is Yuzu around to help out?”

_ “She cooks for them. Hime doesn’t like the food at the hospital. So we send Yuzu’s cooking to her,”  _ Arisawa tells Rukia. _ “I’m sorry, Kuchiki. I would’ve moved our session earlier today but Chad is coming over to the university. I got him a job as a coach here.” _

“It’s fine, Arisawa. I know about Sado- _ kun _ .”

_ “You do?” _

“He’s here actually. Ur… Ishida is giving us both a lift to campus. I’ve got a class at 3.00 anyway,” the petite girl explains. 

_ “All right. Maybe I’ll see you later, then.” _

Rukia hangs up after a brief ‘goodbye’. She turns around and is startled out of her wits when she finds Ishida standing behind her. “ _ Kami _ , Uryuu!”

“Sorry,” he says. “You left your door open. Was going to ask if you need a ride to work after your training.”

“I won’t be training today. I just got off the phone with Arisawa.”

“Yeah… I kind of heard a little of your end of the conversation,” he confesses. 

“Nosy,” Rukia smirks, but her expression quickly turns sombre. “It’s Orihime.”

Ishida hums.

“She’s been in the psychiatric ward for two weeks.”

“Why is Arisawa telling you this?” Ishida asks, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose. 

“Because I asked her if everything was okay.”

“Rukia,” he huffs. “You don’t have to know if it’s going to make you feel guilty again.”

“Who says I’m feeling guilty?” 

Ishida purses his lips as he regards her and she suspects he sees the torn expression on her face. “Sorry. I shouldn’t have…”

Rukia sighs. “No. It’s fine. You’re right. I do feel bad. But mostly because there’s nothing I can do to help.”

“Hey…”

She looks up and realises she has been staring at their feet. 

He takes a couple of steps closer and reaches out to give her upper arm a squeeze. “I’m sure they’ll let you know if they need your help. Don’t beat yourself up over this, okay?”

Rukia nods.

“Actually, there’s another thing…” Ishida begins. 

“What is it?”

“Last night, I called to ask if you could get next Friday night off.”

“Oh? Is there something going on?”

“Yes,” he says, sliding his glasses up his nose again. “I’ll be attending a medical conference every day next week. It ends on Friday night with a gala dinner. And there’s this weird nurse who wants me to be her date but I told her I’ll be bringing someone. You.”

Rukia smirks, “Wow, a date with Dr Ishida Uryuu? Who would pass that up?”

“It’s not a date, Rukia,” the doctor opposes. “I just need you to be there with me because she is going to be at the same table.”

She feigns a gasp of disbelief. “How could you,  _ Sensei _ ! I feel so used!”

Ishida crosses his arms and scowls at her. “Are you going to help me or not?”

“Let you know tonight? I have to ask Nichibotsu.”

“All right,” he says with a nod. “Go get ready,  _ Shinigami _ .”

Rukia watches as he exits her room. She shuts the door after him and leans on it, exhaling a long breath.  _ They’ll let me know if they need my help… _ she runs Ishida’s words through her head as she remembers her conversation with Arisawa. An idea comes to her mind -- a rather risky one. But she needs to do it, at least for her peace of mind. 

 


	12. Chapter 12

 

Tatsuki arrives at the hospital at 6.00 pm after picking up Orihime’s dinner from the Kurosaki Clinic. This evening’s package includes a drawing of a yellow daisy by Kazui for his mother. 

She enters Orihime’s room to find her resting with her eyes closed. But when the auburn-haired woman hears the click of the door, she opens her eyes and smiles at Tatsuki as she sits upright on the bed. 

“Hey, Hime.”

“Tatsuki- _ chan _ .”

The  _ kendoka _ approaches her bed and retrieves the flasks of food from the paper bag she has brought with her. “How are you feeling?”

“Better, I suppose. I’m not as tired anymore.”

Tatsuki nods and hands her the drawing. “Kazui drew this for you.”

Orihime receives the paper with a smile. “He’s so sweet. I really miss him.”

“Then, get better quickly so you can go home.”

The smile on her face wanes as she runs her fingertips across the daisy. “It’s not that easy, Tatsuki- _ chan _ . Just when I feel like I’m okay enough to get out, I sink back into this state again.”

Tatsuki sighs. She really doesn’t know what to say anymore. She has tried to cheer Orihime up the past two weeks but like what she says, her mood fluctuates unpredictably every day. “Take your dinner, Hime. Yuzu made your favourite curry for you. She even packed a small jar of red bean paste in case you want to add to it.”

“Ichigo must be so disappointed in me.”

“Did he say anything to you?” Tatsuki asks, curious why she would say that.

Orihime shakes her head, her eyes downcast. “Other than telling me to eat and answering my questions when I ask about Kazui, he’s always quiet. But that’s how he has always been.”

“Yes, he doesn’t really talk much unless it’s necessary,” Tatsuki agrees, hoping her best friend does not misread Ichigo’s taciturn. 

“I’m so happy he found me, though. It was the first time he visited me at the apartment after… you know…”

Nodding in understanding, Tatsuki tells her, “He cares, Hime. He may not show it all the time but he does. I’m sure he misses you.”

Like a flip of a switch, Orihime’s demeanour changes and her voice notably lowers when she says, “No, he doesn’t. It isn’t me that he misses.”

“Hime…”

“That night… it was her name that he called.”

“What night?”

“That night, Tatsuki- _ chan _ ! The night I thought I was doing him a favour!” Her hands tremble as they fist on the cotton blanket and tears well up in her eyes.

“Hime…”

“I can never be who he wants me to be, Tatsuki- _ chan _ ! Even Sora- _ nii _ says so.”

Tatsuki flops down onto the mattress and wraps her arms around the shaking woman. “But he cares, Hime. He does. You have to believe me.”

“Not how I want him to!” Orihime sobs, thrashing within her best friend’s embrace. “I love him! But he can’t love me back!”

“Hime…” Tatsuki pleads, her hand inches towards the button that calls for the nurse and presses it, all while she curses at herself for triggering Orihime’s breakdown. It was definitely something she said. 

“I’m so stupid! So stupid!”

Responding to the alarm, two nurses and a doctor burst through the door.  Tatsuki lets go as the nurses gently pull Orihime away and hold her down while the doctor prepares the diazepam in the syringe for her. She isn’t really struggling that badly but Tatsuki understands that they have to restrain her in case she hurts herself. 

Stepping towards the door, the raven-haired woman tries to withhold her own tears as she watches the doctor inject the Valium into her friend. Before she exits the room, she feels the hair at the back of her neck rise. Tatsuki’s head snaps to where the presence is but it is already gone.

“Kuchiki…” she whispers.

* * *

 

“Let’s go. Chad is staying back for a discussion with one of the coaches,” Ishida says as he puts the car into gear. 

“Yes, he told me, Ishida- _ kun _ .”

“Chappy?” His eyes widen at the high-pitched voice beside him. 

The  _ gikon _ has learnt not to say ‘pyon’ all the time since Rukia’s return to the world of the living. It would raise suspicion among strangers. “It’s me, Ishida- _ kun _ .”

“Where’s Rukia?”

“Rukia- _ sama _ says she has something to attend to.”

“Did she say where?”

“No, Ishida- _ kun _ .”

But he knows. After dropping Chappy off at Nichibotsu Bar, he rushes towards Karakura Psychiatric Centre. 

It doesn’t take long for him to get the information on Inoue Orihime’s room. And as soon as he does, he takes the elevator to her floor, hoping he could stop the  _ shinigami _ from seeing what she isn’t supposed to see. He doesn’t know why but he has a feeling it will make Rukia feel worse about herself if she sees how bad Inoue’s condition is. It must have been really critical for her to require admission. And staying for two weeks?

Ishida exits the elevator when it opens and almost crashes into the person coming in. 

“Ishida?”

“Arisawa…”

His former classmate seems to be blinking back tears as she looks up at him. 

“What happened? Where is she?” he demands. When she continues to stare at him cluelessly, he clarifies, “Rukia.”

Arisawa takes a deep breath before she replies, “I think she left. All I felt was a faint spiritual pressure beside me and I assume it’s her.”

“Is there something I should know?” he asks, regarding her bloodshot eyes.

“Orihime had a meltdown. The doctor has just sedated her…”

“And Rukia saw this?”

“I guess… if that was really her,” she sniffles and drags her hands down her face before she gasps, “ _ Kami _ … she must’ve heard everything.”

“What is it?” Ishida urges.

Arisawa briefly relates Inoue’s episode to him. The more he listens, the more concerned he is of where Rukia is. He wants to go and look for her but his guts tell him she might want to be alone. 

After talking to Arisawa, Ishida heads to the hospital for his night-shift. But not before he leaves Rukia a text, ‘Call me when you get this message.’

* * *

_ ‘Call me when you get this message.’ _

It is 1.30 am and Rukia has just stepped out of the bar after closing. Seeing the text Ishida sent her, she taps his name to give him a call, which is answered in three rings. 

_ “Rukia?” _

“Yes, Dragon? I’m just about to go home.”

_ “Wait there. I’m going to pick you up.” _

“You’re working.”

_ “Short break.” _

“Are you out of your mind?”

_ “Just wait there. See you in a bit.” _

* * *

 

Five minutes is all it takes to get to the bar from the hospital. Ishida has gotten Tanaka to cover for him while he sneaks out to get Rukia. It is a favour he hasn’t claimed from the other doctor for all the time  _ he  _ has covered for him.  _ “Half-an-hour tops,” _ he told Tanaka.  _ “So whipped,” _ was the comeback but he didn’t bother to reply, rushing out to the car park to get his car. 

When he arrives, Rukia is talking to the new bartender outside the closed bar. She excuses herself when she sees Ishida’s car. The guy waves goodbye to her and him, and walks away from the bar. 

“Good morning, Dragon,” Rukia greets him as she fastens her seatbelt. “Why, pray tell, are you so insistent on picking me up that you had to come out in the middle of a shift to do so?”

Ishida looks ahead and starts driving. “I wanted to see if you’re okay.”

“Why wouldn’t I be?”

“Because you went to see Inoue at the psychiatric ward.”

“It’s Orihime,” she corrects. “And how did you know?”

“It was Chappy that I picked up from the university?” he posts it as a question, as if that would directly mean she was at the hospital. “She’s still Inoue to me.”

“How could you equate picking up Chappy to me going to see  _ Orihime _ ? She’s married. She’s a  _ Kurosaki _ ,” she says, emphasising on the two names. 

Ishida shrugs. “She still goes by the name Inoue Orihime.”

“How’d you…” she begins and gasps when she realises, “You went to centre!”

He hums in reply. 

And she asks in a quieter voice, “How was she when you saw her?”

Ishida shakes his head. “I didn’t see her. I went there to stop you from seeing her.”

Rukia sinks deeper into her seat and looks out the window in silence. 

When they stop at a red light, Ishida turns towards her and says, “Arisawa told me what happened. She thinks she felt your presence right before you left.”

The death god remains quiet. Ishida cannot tell what is really going through her mind but he knows her well enough to suspect that she is burdening herself with guilt. Again.

Slipping his hand into hers, he says, “It’s not your fault, you know that right?”

Rukia gazes back at him with her large, amethyst eyes. “I  _ am _ partly at fault. Not intentionally so but I am, Uryuu.”

“Rukia…”

“You should’ve seen her today when it happened. All the things she said. It’s our past that has made her that way. I want to be angry with Ichigo, but at the same time, I can’t because he is already doing his part to make up for it by taking care of her. I, on the other hand, am not contributing anything to help her.”

Ishida has a retort on his tongue but it only comes out as a grunt as he is interrupted by the light turning green. Tightening his grip on her hand, he continues the drive home without saying anything. He tries to think of something that would make her feel better but he’s not good at things like that. Everything he says is direct to the point and he doesn’t want to upset her further.

What she says is true, though. It’s their past that has made Inoue the way she is. According to what Arisawa told him, the woman gets depressed when she thinks of  _ that _ night. But what really sent her into her recent relapse was most probably Rukia’s return to the Kurosaki Clinic three months ago. However, no one can blame Rukia because Inoue was the one who invited her. The raven-haired girl couldn’t have known that her appearance would cause more harm than good. She didn’t even know about Inoue’s condition.

As he pulls up outside their apartment building, he tugs her hand so she would look at him. “Hey.” And waits until she faces him. “She’s going to be okay if she takes her medication and treatment seriously. Arisawa and Kurosaki are making sure she does. She has people there to take care of her. So you don’t have to worry about it. The only thing you  _ can _ do is be a listening ear for Arisawa. She has always been the tough girl everyone knows her to be but she was at the verge of tears when I saw her.”

A tiny smile slowly finds its way on Rukia’s face. “I never thought of that,” she says, a trace of appreciation in her voice before the usual teasing tone slips in as she strokes his hand with her thumb. “You’re not bad in the emotional area.”

Catching the transition of the mood, he pretends to grumble, “Yeah, that’s because I’m in a hurry to get back to work. Tanaka is holding the fort for me.”

“Aww… Let him know you’re holding _my_ _hand_ while he’s doing all that.”

Ishida glares hard at her as he yanks his hand back, feeling the heat rising behind his neck. “Get out of here!” 

Rukia leaves the car with a snicker. Despite the uneasy feeling he has about _not_ _feeling_ entirely fazed about the physical contact, he is glad that her mood seems to be lifted after their talk. At least he is certain she is okay now that he has seen her back home and he can get back to work without having that nagging concern at the back of his mind the whole time.

Tanaka is waiting for him at the lobby of the ward when he arrives. The man smirks while handing him a pile of case notes. “Did you have enough time to make out with Kuchiki?”

“No,” Ishida replies but decides to humour him. “Quite close, though.”

Tanaka curses as he walks away. “Fuck my life…” 

The Quincy chuckles, taking his phone out from his pocket when he hears it ding, alerting him to an incoming text.

_ ‘I’ll make you mackerel  _ miso _ soup for lunch for being such a sweet friend,’ _ it says. 

Barely three months of staying with him, already she knows what his favourite food is. And he’s just _a_ _sweet friend_.

* * *

 

“Dr Kurosaki, we’ve taken another MRI of your wife’s brain and compared to the ones taken five years ago...” Hajime- _ sensei _ explains as he points to the two sets of MRI images in front of them. “It is significantly obvious that there is enlargement in her lateral ventricles.”

“Is this a gradual occurrence in the span of the five years?” Ichigo asks. 

“We can’t really tell because we only have two to compare. MRI brain scans are not part of her routine screenings since she was doing so well,” Hajime replies. “Until recently, that is.”

Ichigo follows the doctor as he moves towards his desk, gesturing for the orange-head to take a seat. He watches Hajime- _ sensei _ open up Orihime’s file and flip through the medical notes. 

“She stopped coming to her therapy session about three months ago,” Hajime tells him. “Did something happen around that time?”

Ichigo thinks back on the events of three months ago but it doesn’t take much effort to remember distinctly what happened. He sighs, “Yeah… she invited a few friends over.”

“Do you not have friends over every now and then?”

“We do but… there’s a couple of them who came back after many years of being away.”

Hajime looks over his notes from the last time Orihime came over to see him. He looks up at Ichigo and seems to be deliberating over something before he speaks up. 

“She mentioned something about this party the last time she came here. I’m not sure if it’s the same thing. But it seems that her condition deteriorates after that event.”

Ichigo nods. He knew it wasn’t a good idea to invite the  _ shinigami _ over but Orihime was so determined to celebrate the new captain’s promotion that he couldn’t say anything. “So what’s the plan now, Hajime- _ sensei _ ?”

“We need to keep her here for another week or so and we may increase the dosage of her medication. She seemed to be responding well to this one, until she was triggered yesterday.”

Ichigo leaves the centre, dreading to break the news to Kazui that his mother will have to stay for another week. The boy was doing all right the first week but by the second, he started to get worried that he may not be able to see his mother anymore. He would cry every night before bedtime, pleading to his father to bring his mother home. 

Last night, Tatsuki came over after Ichigo told her the kid was asleep. When she related Orihime’s psychotic episode to him, guilt tumbled down on him like a ton of bricks. He has always been aware that Orihime knows his heart is locked away for someone else. But having her voice it out, when she remembers the things he said  _ that night _ , it makes him feel so much worse. Especially for Kazui because she can’t be there for him if she’s always triggered by that particular event. 

Sometimes he wonders if he should’ve thought of another way to support Kazui without marrying Orihime and causing her -- and himself and  _ her _ \-- so much pain. When she told him she was pregnant, she said she would bring the baby up on her own. But he remembers why decided to do it. He wanted Kazui to grow up with both parents in the same household because he knew what it’s like to grow up with only one. However, that is just one of the reasons and not a very solid one. 

The deciding factor was what Tatsuki told him. In fact, she wasn’t very keen on the idea of the both of them leaping into marriage just because of a baby. He remembers that conversation particularly well. It happened a couple of weeks after Orihime found out about the baby. 

_ “There is something you must understand about Hime, Ichigo,” his childhood friend says. “She’s mentally unstable. I’ve tried getting her to seek help but she would always come up with excuses not to go to the appointments I’ve set for her. Whatever it is you decide to do, please take that into consideration. I don’t know if she’ll be able to raise the child on her own. But I’m also not sure if marrying her is a good idea. You will both end up getting hurt somewhere in the future.” _

_ His protective instinct kicks in; for his unborn child and the comrade who lost her precious power while trying to back him up at the war with Yhwach. She can’t raise a child alone in that little apartment without some kind of help. Not in that condition. And with that, comes the thought of some random guy she might date in the future making things complicated for her and the child. As a student doctor, he has heard too many stories and even seen with his own eyes the evidence of jealous boyfriends being abusive towards their single-parenting girlfriends who pick their children over their partners.  _

_ He can’t risk that. He has lost all his powers to protect a mountain-load of people. This is all he has left to protect to stay true to his name. He’ll take what he’s given.  _

_ “I’m going to ask Inoue to marry me,” he tells Tatsuki.  _

_ “Are you crazy? Ichigo, did you not hear what I just said? You don’t even love her.” _

_ “What choice do I have? I can’t leave her on her own like that. You said so yourself that she’s mentally unstable. All the more should I be there for her and the baby.” _

_ “What about Kuchiki?” _

_ “She’s not coming back. The war is over. There is no longer any threat. Soul Society is not sending any  _ shinigami _ here anymore. I’m not going to see her ever again!” _

_ “Ichigo…” The way Tatsuki calls out to him, he thinks she can probably see the pain in his eyes when he declares his defeat because he sure as hell can feel the ache in his chest.  _

_ “Look, Tatsuki. There is nothing else I can do now. Without my powers, I am nothing. So just… whatever that’s left for me to protect, just let me, okay?” _

He told Orihime that night and they planned their small church wedding a fortnight from then. 

But fate would always go against him. A week later, Kyouraku Shunsui sent Kuchiki Rukia back to the world of the living together with Abarai Renji, Hitsugaya Toushiro, Matsumoto Rangiku, and Madarame Ikkaku to check on the recovery after the war. 

Ichigo felt himself split into half the way his  _ bankai _ did. One part of him was ecstatic to see the girl who unorthodoxically crashed into his life and made him fall in love with her while the other part was shattered because he knew nothing could ever happen between them now that he was marrying someone else. Unless he called it off. And that was what he wanted to do when he saw her again. 

But Kuchiki Rukia -- with all her arrogant, seemingly-unbreakable Kuchiki upbringing -- only afforded him a stern look aside from the non-expression she inherited from her stick-up-the-arse brother when she told him to proceed with the marriage he promised to Orihime. The nerve of her to disregard her own pain the way she disregarded his! It was probably not visible to others but he knew her more than anyone ever would and he could see that pain as clear as day in her exotic, purple eyes. 

As he pulls up at the entrance of Kazui’s kindergarten and sees his son waving at him from the pick-up point, he snaps himself back to reality. It’s pointless to dwell on the past. The only thing to do now is to move forward. 


	13. Chapter 13

 

_ “What’s the dress code for the dinner?” _

“Formal.”

_ “Okay. I’ll see if I can find a nice pattern in the university’s archive.” _

“You’re making your own dress?”

_ “What? No! I’m wearing a tux,” _ she chuckles.  _ “Of course, I’m making my own dress, Dragon.” _

“You only have three days. I’ll get you one.”

_ “Aww… ever the gentleman,” _ she coos and he rolls his eyes even though she can’t see him.  _ “Don’t worry about it. I want to make good use of this newly-acquired skill.” _

Ishida huffs. “All right. But the offer still stands.”

_ “What’s your colour?” _ she asks. 

“Blue. Always blue.”

_ “Great! I have just the material for that at home.” _

“You keep materials at home?” 

_ “Yes. Rolls of them. This semester is all about basic tailoring skills. I need to have them within grabs.” _

“All right. Someday I’ll steal from you.”

_ “You don’t know where I keep them.” _

“Your room isn’t that big,  _ Shinigami _ .”

_ “Who says they are in my room?” _

“Well, the apartment isn’t that big either and they are definitely not in  _ my _ room.”

_ “Sometimes, the best hiding place is the one that’s in plain sight.” _ He can practically picture her shrug. Should he be at least a bit bothered that he can predict her body language by now?

“Have you been reading or watching The Twilight Saga?”

_ “No, why?” _

“Do you know who wrote that?”

_ “Some girl named Stephenie Meyer?” _

“That’s the author.”

_ “Oh? Didn’t know that. Nichibotsu sticks it on the door of our inventory cabinet.” _

“You should do your research before quoting stuff.”

_ “Yeah, I vote you as my search engine. First question: Dear  _ Google _ , any particular design you have in mind?” _

“Surprise me.”

_ “All right. A two-piece swimsuit, it is…” _

Ishida heaves a shaky sigh. He should get back to work. Why is he not hanging up yet? “Fine by me. You’re the one wearing it. I hope you know the banquet hall is going to be cold.”

_ “The cold doesn’t bother me, anyway. Have you forgotten what my  _ bankai _ form is?” _

How could he forget? She is acclaimed to have the most beautiful  _ zanpakutou _ in the whole of Soul Society. And her  _ bankai _ is able to reach the temperature of absolute zero. He didn’t get to see it. But Kuchiki Byakuya got someone to illustrate it according to what he saw and sent it to Rukia as a gift recently. The portrait now hangs on her bedroom wall. Ishida was in awe when he saw it the first time. He would love to see the real  _ Hakka no Togame _ for himself but he doesn’t think he would be able to survive it. 

_ “Dragon? You’re still alive?” _

“Yes. Have you been watching Frozen?”

_ “No. Did I quote something again?” _

“Yes, ‘the cold…’”

_ “‘... doesn’t bother me, anyway’,” _ she finishes for him.  _ “Oh, there’s this girl who sings it in class to psyche herself because she can’t stand the air-conditioning in the lecture hall. It’s kind of annoying, if you asked me.” _

_ I should really get back to work, _ Ishida thinks.  _ Why am I burning the phone line with a girl like a high school kid? _

_ “You should get back to work,”  _ she says, beating him to it.  _ “My break is almost over so I’m going to rummage through the dress patterns before I get to the next class.” _

“Okay. I’ll pick you up at 11.30.”

“It’s Tuesday, Uryuu.”

_Thump-thump._ _Thump-thump._ “I’ll see you at home, then.”

They end the call and Ishida is left to wonder why there are distinct double beats in his chest whenever she says his name.

* * *

 

Standing outside Rukia’s room, Ishida tightens his tie one last time before lifting his knuckles to the door. It is inexplicable why he is feeling nervous about tonight. He did say so himself that it isn’t a date. He doesn’t know if his anxiety is based on taking Rukia to a formal dinner as his plus-one or seeing her all dressed-up. 

He is about to knock when the door opens to reveal the Kuchiki heiress in a blue, sleeveless dress that reaches an inch above the floor. Her toes peek from the hem but she is notably taller than usual, a result of a very high pair of stilettos, he presumes. She has left her hair down and it curls lightly at the end.

“You look…” He swallows, unable to think of the appropriate word to describe her besides ‘hot’ -- which is Tanaka’s and he is too proud to recycle it. “You look nice.”

“ _ Nice _ ?” she reiterates. “I spent the last three days, pouring my blood, sweat, and tears into this dress, and that’s all you could come up with?”

“I wanted to buy one for you,” he reminds her. “But I must say, the dress  _ is _ gorgeous. I don’t think we could’ve found something this elegant anywhere in Karakura.”

“Yeah, I got the pattern off a French library,” she tells him with a proud grin. 

Ishida nods, appreciating the boat neckline and the way the rest of the dress fits perfectly all the way down to her hips before it flares into a mermaid cut. “That’s the same bias cut as the skirt you were making the first time, isn’t it?” he asks, gesturing to the lower part of the dress. 

“That’s very perceptive of you, couturier- _ san _ . I think you’re in the wrong profession.”

He hums. “I think so, too. Shall we go before I decide to hand in my resignation?”

“Let’s go.” Rukia snickers, pulling the door shut behind her. 

As they approach the main door, Ishida notices the peculiar way she walks beside him. “Are you having trouble walking in those heels?”

“No,” she says, her voice slightly pitching. 

“Why are you walking like a crab?”

“Am not!”

“Walk properly, then,” he says, slipping his hand under her hair on her back -- so as not to make a mess of it -- to nudge her forward before he jerks it away when he feels the warmth of her skin on his entire palm. “Wha-?”

“Yeah…” she drawls, abashedly biting her lower lip.

Ishida notes the blush darkening on her face and he is pretty sure he has not seen anything so adorable. “Well, this dress sure is deceiving.”

“I know, I know. It’s not something my brother would approve. He’ll probably skin me alive with his  _ sakura _ petals!” 

The doctor chuckles. “The prospect of that happening is actually quite entertaining. Death by flowers for showing some skin.”

Rukia glares hard at him. “It’s not funny, Dragon. You’ll be in trouble, too, because you’re the one taking me out tonight in this skimpy outfit.”

“Hey, I didn’t make that dress for you.”

She sighs, shaking her head. “I should’ve checked. I was in a hurry that day. The packet only showed the front of the dress, so I thought it was a decent design. Even when I placed the measured pattern on the material for cutting, I didn’t realise the dress was supposed to be backless until I sewed the pieces together last night.”

“If you’re uncomfortable about it, you could use a scarf,” he suggests. 

“I don’t own a scarf. I’m not like  _ Nii-sama _ .”

“Well, there’s nothing you can do now. Let’s just go. If your brother decides to take you back home to execute you for dressing up, I’ll re-enact what I did 12 years ago. Only this time, Abarai won’t be able to strike me down.” Opening the main door, he motions for her to exit the apartment. 

“You sound so sure of yourself for someone who has not practised his Quincy skills in a long time,” she remarks as she steps out and they walk together towards his car after he locks the apartment door. 

“That’s because I can reverse whatever my opponent does to me with my Antithesis ability and before he knows it, he’ll feel the pain he inflicts on me while I heal on my own.”

“That’s impressive. How come I never knew about this?”

“I acquired it during the war. I don’t think I’ll ever use any of my Quincy abilities again, though.”

“Even if I get captured for showing some skin?” she quips as they enter the car. 

“You’re a strong woman, Rukia,” he says, his two fingers ready to press the ‘start’ button. “You don’t need anyone to fight for you. But, yes, if something like that does happen, I’ll probably revive my Quincy powers for you.”

* * *

Sitting at the table of ten amongst a group of general practitioners, Ichigo is almost guilty that he is taking a break from both his son and Orihime. But Yuzu insisted that he goes for this annual medical conference which their father used to go to. 

For the first time in many years, the Kurosaki Clinic was closed for the entire week. He managed to attend most of the sessions despite having to excuse himself to send lunch to Orihime at noon and pick up Kazui at 3.30 pm every day. He didn’t plan to come to the dinner but Tatsuki has offered to be with Kazui so he could go. 

_ “It’s only a few hours, Ichigo. You don’t get to go for stuff like these often,” _ she said. 

Ichigo finds himself relaxing a little as he listens to the conversation at the table, contributing a little every now and then his own insights to the topic of discussion. That is, until he hears someone’s name being addressed two tables behind his. 

“Ishida! I’m glad you’re here again this year.”

“Sugino- _ sama _ , it’s good to see you.”

“And you brought someone with you.”

Ichigo is about to turn around when he hears his cousin introducing his date.

“This is Kuchiki Rukia.”

“A pleasure to meet you, Sir.” His heart clenches at the sound of her voice. During the party, he was too busy avoiding her to really listen to her although they did exchange a few words. Even then, they were both very tense and careful not to say anything that would cross the line. 

“The pleasure is mine, Kuchiki- _ san _ . You seem to have found yourself the perfect match, Ishida,” the man says and Ichigo remembers who this person is -- Sugino Akihiko, the director of Shibuya University Hospital and the main organiser of this medical conference. 

“That’s right!” a lady’s voice concurs. “Everything about the two of you just matches. The raven-coloured hair, the blue eyes, and is your tie made of the same fabric as Kuchiki- _ san _ ’s, Ishida- _ sensei _ ?”

“No, it’s purely coincidental, Sugino- _ san _ ,” Ishida replies. “She made this dress herself.”

“That’s wonderful!” the lady -- Ichigo assumes to be Sugino’s wife -- exclaims excitedly. “I own a chain of boutiques all over Tokyo, the biggest one is back at home in Shibuya. You should visit me sometime. Maybe we could work together. I see you’re into French designs.”

“Nami, you’re intimidating the poor child.” Hearing the director addressing Rukia as a child, Ichigo inwardly scoffs. If only they knew how old this death god is. 

“Nonsense, Akihiko. They remind me so much of us when we were young. What do you do, Kuchiki- _ san _ ?”

“I just started my undergraduate studies in fashion design,” Ichigo is surprised to hear Rukia say. 

“Perfect! See, Akihiko? Isn’t that sweet? They are just like us!”

“Yes, yes, Nami. Do keep your voice down.”

“Are you at the new Tokyo University of Arts and Design?” 

“Yes, Sugino- _ san _ .”

“Splendid!” and Ichigo wonders if she’ll ever run out of exclamation words. “I was the one who insisted they opened a campus here. Karakura has so many untapped creative talents.”

“I’m sorry, Ishida- _ san _ , Kuchiki- _ san _ , we’ll leave you to your dinner, now. Nami…”

“But I just met someone with the same interest. You go entertain the rest of these...  _ medical _ people.”

“Nami, let the couple enjoy the rest of the night. It’s not very often doctors get to go out on dates, you know?”

Ichigo hears the exuberant lady sigh aloud. “I guess you’re right. I’ll leave you two to it then. But know that I will contact you and see if I can collaborate with you on some projects. I always love to work with young talents.”

“Sure. It’s nice talking to you, Sugino- _ san _ .”

“I’ll contact you, Ishida,” Sugino Akihiko says. “Remember to think about the offer.”

_ SUH is offering Ishida? He’d be stupid not to take it,  _ Ichigo thinks. They only accept the best and usually the most experienced doctors. Ishida is barely a second year medical officer. He started medical school two and a half years after Ichigo and already he is sought after by one of the best hospitals in Tokyo while the orange-head himself is stuck running the clinic his father left behind. 

Ichigo’s initial plan was to specialise in paediatrics but when Orihime got pregnant, he decided to just finish off the fastest he could with only one year of housemanship before he reopened the Kurosaki Clinic. 

He thinks it’s unfair that after saving the world from Yhwach, all he gets is the annuity from Soul Society. He would trade that for the life Ishida has in a heartbeat. At least the Quincy still retains his powers, and now he is a highly-esteemed, head-hunted doctor in all of Karakura. It’s not the first time he hears of people in the medical field speak so favourably of Ishida. Before this, he would disregard this as another success story of someone he knows. He isn’t a materialistic kind of man, and after going through so much in Soul Society and Hueco Mundo, life in the world of the living means nothing to him. 

But seeing Ishida with  _ her _ … he’s starting to wonder if it’s all worth it. He feels that he has won the battle but lost the war. Because he lost everything. Rukia was everything to him. She probably still is. And that is why, he decides that he doesn’t mind taking a backseat if she’s happy with Ishida.

* * *

 

Rukia heaves a sigh of relief, as subtly as she can when the lady leaves their table. Sugino Nami was so loud that the  _ shinigami _ could feel all eyes around the room looking at where they are sitting. Including a certain someone whom she has spotted a few tables away. It’s quite hard not to notice a head full of orange in a room of mostly dark heads. 

She tried to lower her voice whenever she answered the lady’s questions but she didn’t want to offend her or look like she wasn’t comfortable talking to her -- which she was, really. Why would Rukia want the entire banquet hall to know what and where she is studying?

“Sorry about that,” Ishida murmurs beside her as he takes a sip of his red wine. 

“It’s okay. Couldn’t be helped since I’m apparently dating such a popular doctor,” she goads, trying to speak as quietly as possible. Ishida’s not-so-secret admirer has been glaring daggers at her from across the table the whole night. 

He scoffs. “I’m  _ not _ popular.”

“Renowned? Distinguished? Eminent? Well-revered?” she tries. 

“None of those.”

“Care to explain what offer that Sugino guy was talking about?”

The doctor huffs. “He came to see me last month to ask if I would join his team in Shibuya University Hospital.”

“You mean that huge hospital that does all the medical research and development for the country?”

“Yes. And Sugino is one of the directors.”

Rukia turns her body towards Ishida and brings her face closer to his, still trying not to speak too loudly. “You’re going to take it, right?”

He shrugs. “I’m still thinking about it.”

“It’s a great opportunity for you, Uryuu. You should grab it while it’s still there for you.”

“What, you want to get rid of me?” he smirks, tucking her fringe -- that keeps falling over her eye -- behind her ear. 

Rukia punches him in the thigh. “I can’t get rid of you. But you should take this job.” It’s the less obvious place to inflict a physical retort upon him. 

He chuckles, grabbing her offending hand and keeping it where it is. “And I can’t take the job. I’ve got a roommate I need to take care of.”

Rukia rolls her eyes at him and straightens her posture in her chair. She doesn’t pull away, though, even as she feels the death stare that the nurse is shooting right at her.

* * *

 

He catches a glimpse of a girl in a royal blue dress, standing by the entrance of the banquet hall and he knows it is her even though she has her back to him. Her back that is completely bare, he notes, if not for her hair covering most of her skin. Ichigo never thought he would ever see Rukia dressed up so elegantly, and a part of him wishes she was wearing it for him, attending the gala with him. 

He remembers Ishida telling Sugino’s wife that Rukia made the dress herself. It doesn’t surprise him, though, that she would pick up the skill in such a short time. She has always been a fast learner. If she were truly living here, she would go places and make a great name for herself. 

Ichigo clears his throat as he stands a few steps behind her. “Rukia…” Her name sounds at home and far away at the same time, coming from his lips. 

The petite girl, who seems to be standing at least five inches taller than he remembers, turns around to face him. And the first thing that strikes him is the sparkle in her large, violet eyes that still captivate him after so many years. “Ichigo.”

“How are you?”

“Fine,” she replies and he wonders why she has to sound so… arresting every time she speaks. “And you?”

“I’m good.” He nods a couple of times, as if that would make her believe his answer. 

“And Orihime? Is she discharged?”

Ichigo hesitates a little. “Not yet.” The mention of Orihime’s name makes him feel like he’s being untrue to her with Rukia, when in fact, all these years, it’s been the other way around. It does not matter if their feelings have never be spoken of because between him and Rukia, their bond speaks louder than words. 

“I’m sorry.”

_ For what? For not coming back to me after the war? _ he wants to ask.  _ For not letting me back out of a loveless marriage? For pretending we’re all doing the right thing? _

Ichigo hasn’t said anything but her expression changes before his eyes. Guilt. Hurt. Empathy. He is surprised he can still read it so well. And he is even more surprised when he thinks he hears her say,  _ “That’s not fair, Ichigo. You know I never wanted any of this to happen. I never thought any of this  _ could _ happen. If I could turn back time, I would.” _

He swallows and gives her a slight nod. “I’m sorry, too.”

And they stand there outside the banquet hall, his hands shoved into the pockets of his suit pants, hers joined across her torso, gazing silently at each other. Ichigo imagines one end of their red string of fate is tied to his wrist and the other end, to hers. But there’s a knot right in the middle of it that needs to be undone. And until it loosens, they will both live as two souls that can never find each other in the same destiny. 

“Kurosaki.”

Ichigo does not break the eye-contact until the carrier of the voice stops beside Rukia and gives him a solemn look. Well, at least he thinks it’s that kind of look. It’s hard to tell because that face never really expresses anything. 

“Ishida,” he returns the greeting, slowly taking his eyes off Rukia. 

“It’s been a while.”

“Yes,” he says with a tight smile and a nod. “It has.”

And then, there’s that awkward silence everyone has been waiting for…

* * *

 

The tension between the three is so strong, Rukia is afraid one of them might say something they would regret. Ishida is the first to break. She knows he can never be patient enough to put up with awkwardness. 

Wrapping an arm around Rukia’s shoulders, he speaks into her ear, “I’ll go get the car.” But perhaps he just wants to give her a little more time… for closure with the man she shares a soul with but cannot claim as so. Why does he have to be so considerate all the time?

“Are you happy?” Ichigo’s voice jolts her from her thoughts and she realises she has been staring after Ishida’s retreating from. 

“What?”

“Are you happy with him?”

“Ichigo…”

“You deserve someone who can make you happy. I know we’ve never been agreeable with each other but Ishida is the most selfless guy I know. So if he makes you happy…”

“Ichigo, we’re not going out.”

“Doesn't look that way to me. Even the Suginos can see that. I think everyone could see that,” he says, a bitter chuckle at the end of the sentence. 

Rukia narrows her eyes at him. It’s either that or they will start to glisten and she does not want to lose to her emotions. She is a Kuchiki. But her voice betrays her when it comes out hoarse as she says, “What makes you think I will ever fall in love again?”

_ “Rukia…” _ she hears him say in her head. And she thinks she hears something shatter at the background, too. 

Ishida pulls up behind her just as she feels her dam start to crack. She curses inwardly when a lone tear escapes her eye. 

“I have to go. Send my love to Orihime,” she chokes and turns away, disregarding the hand that reaches out to her. 

She enters the car, keeping the cork in as Ishida waves at Ichigo, keeping the cork in as he drives away. But when they reach a red light, she breaks down like never before. 

And Ishida, sweet Ishida, takes her into his side embrace and drives with one hand all the way home with her sobbing into his shoulder. 

 


	14. Chapter 14

 

_ Presently, the future is in the middle of a love triangle, _ _   
_ _ With calamity and me in the corner  _

_ starting to feel uncomfortable. _ _   
_ _ Should I douse the spark or fan the flames  _

_ or merely think of clever things to say? _ _   
_ _ The more I try to separate,  _

_ the better it feels to get right in the way. _ _   
_ _ And I try so hard to get out of the way  _

_ of that runaway train. _ _   
_ _ Oh, how I do love the rain. _

_ \-- Runaway Train (Brandon Boyd) -- _

* * *

 

Ishida is hoping the annoying sound of the doorbell is just part of whatever dream he just had that he can’t seem to remember. He is about to roll his pillow over his head to cover his ears when he thinks of the sleeping  _ shinigami _ beyond his bedroom wall. It’s a Saturday but she only got back from patrolling two hours ago. He knows because he was waiting up for her. After what happened last night, he wanted to make sure she was all right. 

Scrambling out of bed, he curses whoever it is that dares to drop by at -- he checks his watch -- seven fucking thirty in the morning.  _ They’d better not wake her up, _ he thinks and starts undoing the two latches on the door before unlocking. When he flings it open, he sees the person he least expects standing outside his apartment.

“Ishida.”

“What are you doing here?”

“I need to see Rukia. Can you tell me where she lives?”

“Why?” he asks, pissed at himself for sounding a little jealous and pissed at the other person for eliciting that emotion. Despite the pep-talk he gave himself last night…

The surprise visitor clenches his jaw, glares back at him before he sighs. “I said some things last night that I feel like an arsehole about. I just want to apologise to her.”

“Look, Kurosaki…”

“Uryuu?”

_ Fuck… _

* * *

Ichigo’s eyes widen at the sound of Rukia’s voice behind Ishida. The man before him stays silent but keeps a warning glare at him. Disregarding him, Ichigo looks over his shoulder to see a groggy-looking Rukia coming out from the hallway he assumes to be where the bedroom is.  _ “Ichigo, we’re not going out,” _ her words from last night replay in his head. Fighting very hard to suppress the lump in his throat, he utters, “Rukia.”

The girl with the rumpled t-shirt and shorts blinks. “Ichigo?”

He turns his gaze back at Ishida. “Can you give us a moment?”

Ishida remains rooted to where he is standing until Rukia walks up behind him and places a hand on his back. 

“It’s okay, Uryuu. It’ll just be a while. I’ll take this outside,” she says in an assuring tone.

“Are you sure?” he asks and takes his eyes off Ichigo to look down at her by his side.

Rukia nods.

Ishida casts his cousin one last glance before he tells Rukia. “You can speak to him here. I’ll be in my room.” And disappears into the hallway where Rukia came out from earlier.

“Come in and have a seat,” she invites.

Ichigo goes into the apartment and shuts the door behind him as he steps out of his shoes. Following her into the kitchen, he takes a look around the apartment and notes bitterly how the white shades on the furnishing screams Quincy  _ and _ Sode no Shirayuki.  _ Focus, Ichigo, _ he grumbles inwardly at himself. He cannot let all these get to him or his apologies will come out wrong.  _ Everything _ will come out wrong. 

When he saw her coming out of the hallway, with a side braid which was a little ruffled, he looked back at Ishida and noticed that he also had a bedhead. And he was in his sweatpants, without a shirt on. Of course, the first thing that came to mind was that they were sleeping together. He couldn’t see beyond the hallway. It was only when Ishida said he would be in  _ his _ room that it dawned on Ichigo that maybe they were not even sharing a room.  _ They’re not going out. Trust her,  _ he chides himself again and wonders why he is starting to talk to himself. There hasn’t been an inner voice since he got back from Soul Society 10 years ago. God forbid he turns into a schizophrenic like Orihime… Kazui does not need both his parents to be mentally unstable. 

“I’m  _ not _ seeing him. I’m  _ not _ sleeping with him. We’re  _ not _ together,” Rukia snaps, placing a cup of hot tea before him.

Ichigo returns from his jumbled thoughts and realises that she has been staring across the kitchen counter at him. “I didn’t say anything,” he murmurs with a nervous gulp.

“You didn’t need to. It’s so noisy in there,” she says, poking a finger at his temple.

“How can you still tell what I’m thinking?”

“Why don’t you ask yourself? You read my mind last night, didn’t you?”

“I…” Ichigo huffs. “I’m sorry. For what I said last night. I was too presumptive.”

“As always.”

“Rukia, I’m trying to apologise for acting like a jerk.”

“ _ Tu as été un abruti toute ta vie. _ ”

“Excuse me?”   
“Nothing.”

“Did you just say I’ve been a jerk my whole life?”

Rukia purses her lips, glaring softly at him.

Ichigo chuckles. “How long did it take for you to pick up that language?”

“I learnt  _ tu es un abruti _ the first week in TUAD,” she replies, gesturing for him to drink his tea. 

“Let me guess: some guy tried to hit on you,” he says, blowing a little at the tea before taking a sip of it. 

“He was rude. Is it so difficult for humans to just say what’s on their mind without beating around the bush or turning it into something disgustingly cheesy?” 

“Maybe that’s what was on their mind when they tried to pick you up.”

“Hey, do you remember me? I think we met in my dream last night,” Rukia mimics in a voice an octave lower than usual. 

“Maybe he did dream of you the night before,” he says with a shrug. “Or did you show up in his bedroom uninvited like…”

The glare intensifies.

“Sorry.”

Rukia stares into her cup for a good half-a-minute before she looks up at him again. “Ichigo,” she begins. “What are you really apologising for?”

“I made you cry.”

“What made you think I cried?”

“I saw your tears.”

“So I had a flashback of the past for a while there. I shouldn’t have let it affect me. I was taught never to shed tears because it means that the body has been defeated by emotion. And to us, Shinigami, that simple act of crying proves, that the existence of emotion is nothing but a burden.”

“Stop acting like your brother with the stick up his arse! Are you saying your tears were your fault for being a little more human? It was me and I’m apologising for it.”

“Ichigo, it wasn’t you. There is nothing to forgive, so there is nothing to apologise for. We move on from here.”

“Then, I apologise for the past. For hurting you. For not waiting for you to come back and…”

“And what?” she cuts him off. “Did you think we could’ve done anything about it, Ichigo?”

The former  _ shinigami-daiko _ furrows his brows. He did want to do something about it. During the final battle with Yhwach, as he was in despair, he was desperately trying to defeat the Quincy king because he was desperately trying to survive so he could be with her. She was the drive for him to finish Yhwach off. 

“You know, when I first started going to Karakura High School, the girls in our class asked me what my relationship was with you. Orihime and Arisawa were with them. I told them we were friends, even though I had a feeling we were more. We shared a soul, but they didn’t need to know that,” she recalls with a gloomy smile. “I did hope for a little more but I told myself that love, companionship, and friendship… it’s troublesome. It’s really, really nothing but a saddening emotion. All Shinigami shouldn’t have these unnecessary feelings. And I can’t be with a human, anyway.”

“Would it have been troublesome if I hadn’t lost my powers? What if I stayed in Soul Society after the war like my dad?”

“But you didn’t, Ichigo. As fate would have it, you had to come back.”

Ichigo’s hand clenches in a tight fist beside his cup of tea that is getting cold. So close. He was so close to getting what he wanted. 

“Please, just take care of Orihime and your son. They are your family now,” she says.

“Am I not doing that? Do you have any idea how tiring this… this whole life is?”

“But this is your life now. They need you.”

He heaves a long sigh and asks, almost inaudibly, “And what about you?”

“You know I’ll always be fine. I have survived so many years without entertaining these  _ unnecessary emotions _ . This is how  _ my _ life works.”

Ichigo squeezes his eyes shut as he nods a couple of times before he gazes at her again. “Sometimes I hate that you’re always fine because that means you don’t need to have me in your life at all.”

“You’re not mine to have, Ichigo.”

* * *

 

“Are you all right?” Ishida asks, sitting lazily on their sofa. He can barely open his eyes. 

The girl next to him slides down a little and leaned heavily on his arm.  _ Her _ eyes were already closed. “Yes. Do you want breakfast?”

“You’re tired, Rukia. Don’t worry about it. I’m also too sleepy to eat.”

“Good. ‘Cos I wasn’t going to make you any.”

He chuckles, putting his arm around her. “You’re all heart,  _ Shinigami _ .”

Rukia snickers and sinks into his shoulder before dozing off almost instantly, leaving him to think back on what happened earlier. 

Kurosaki showed up at a horrible time. But then, he couldn’t blame the guy. He only had a small window of time to see Rukia between sending breakfast to his wife and going home to be with his son who’s sleeping in on a Saturday.

In a way, Ishida is actually glad the two had the opportunity to talk it out. They obviously needed this long overdue reconciliation. Judging by the serene look on both faces before Kurosaki left their apartment, Ishida knows it was the best thing that could happen to them after so many years. 

He’d be lying if he said he wasn’t listening in on their conversation. He could feel the tension between them which eventually loosened by the end of their interaction. There was a pang of jealousy when he heard how easily they could open up to each other despite everything that has happened. They even joked around a bit in between their serious talk and they were both okay with it. He supposes that’s the bond he could never have with Rukia. 

After Rukia told Kurosaki that he was not hers to have, there was a long silence between the two and it was driving him crazy as he wondered what the two were doing. Slipping on a t-shirt, he exited his room with the excuse that he needed a drink, and found that they were just having a contemplative moment. They seemed comfortable and not at all fazed by his presence in the kitchen. 

The three of them talked for a bit, catching up on one another’s life -- Kurosaki appearing more relaxed than he did when he first arrived -- before the former Shinigami excused himself at 8.30 am. His son would be awake by then and was probably looking for him. 

One look from Kurosaki and he knew the guy wanted to speak to him in private so he followed him out the door. 

_ “I don’t know what made Byakuya approve of Rukia living with you. He’s usually very protective of her. But he must trust you to a certain extend to let her stay here,” Kurosaki tells him as he was pulling the door shut. “I don’t think I have to ask you to take care of her. I can tell by the way you look at her that…” _

_ “Don’t go there, Kurosaki.” _

_ His cousin stares at him quietly. “Am I wrong?” he asks after a while. _

_ Ishida crosses his arms and glances away. He doesn’t owe this man an answer. The man who married the first woman he ever loved is the same man that will always hold the heart of the woman he might have fallen for.  _

_ “I’m sorry I messed things up for you. I’m not proud of myself at all. I hope you understand that I never wanted all of this. It has always been only her,” Kurosaki says, gesturing towards the door. “And it’ll probably always be only her for me.” _

_ The Quincy remains standing by his door with his arms crossed, listening to his wartime comrade. At the back of his mind, he is cursing Yhwach once again for screwing their lives.  _

_ Kurosaki runs a hand through his orange hair and drags out a long breath. “I hate it that you’re the one she experiences the human life with. I hate it that you get to spend so much time with her. I hate it that you get to make her smile, that you get to be the one she turns to when she needs someone. I hate that it’s all you and not me. But she needs this. She needs someone to make her happy. And you’re the one who is given the privilege to do that for her. I wish it was me. I hope you treasure this time with her.” _

_ Ishida can only afford a nod as he watches Kurosaki step away from their apartment. He knows he should have said something. Maybe to reassure the guy that he will take care of Rukia, make her smile, and give her the greatest experiences of being a human. But words fail him and he also feels that whatever he is willing to give her, she may not be willing to take.  _

Back in the apartment, Rukia looked like a load had been taken off her shoulders. She didn’t seem to want to talk about it and Ishida didn’t want to pry. So they threw themselves on the sofa, both extremely worn out from an eventful night, lack of sleep, and emotional prodding. 

Yes, Ishida had his own moment of assessment last night while he was waiting for her to come back from patrolling… and the findings were not at all consoling. Life gets complicated when you think you’re falling for someone. For him who has always been closed off to people, this means he is unwittingly opening up to someone… he probably has for quite some time now. And that someone is a Shinigami -- the enemy of the Quincy race for a long time. 

Turning his head a little to the weight on his shoulder, he takes in the peaceful, sleeping face of Kuchiki Rukia. She has always been beautiful. Even from the first time he saw her. She’s a goddess. All celestial beings are beautiful. It never crossed his mind that he would ever fall for her. In fact, if she didn’t show up at his apartment that night after her party, she would’ve remained just another death god from Soul Society who was once his pretend-classmate. Just like Abarai Renji, Hitsugaya Toushiro, Matsumoto Rangiku, and Madarame Ikkaku. But this only goes to show what spending time with another person can do, what getting to know someone personally can do. 

After what happened with Inoue, he didn’t plan on being with anyone. He has a complicated past and he doesn’t want any normal human to get caught in the web if something happens in the future. Because of that, having a relationship was the last thing on his mind. Until he got to personally know Kuchiki Rukia. 

This girl is an enigma. He cannot deny that since she moved in a few months ago, he has been wondering what it would be like to  _ be _ in a relationship with her. To be able to hold her hand for no particular reason.  To come home to more than just tasty home-cooked meals. He wants to experience the cuddles and kisses of two people who care about each other and want to live each day to make each other happy. He wants to do everything with her. 

It’s weird because with Inoue, he didn’t think of things like that. He only wanted to date her. Sure, he wanted to protect her, too. But who doesn’t want to protect a girl like Inoue Orihime? She gives you the impression that a change in the wind’s direction could shatter her to pieces and you don’t want that to happen to her. 

With Rukia, he actually pictures it in his head what they could do together. And it’s usually quite believable because most of those things, they have already done. Minus the romance, that is. 

_ “Love, companionship, and friendship… it’s troublesome. It’s really, really nothing but a saddening emotion. All Shinigami shouldn’t have these unnecessary feelings. And I can’t be with a human, anyway.” _

Remembering what she said to Ichigo this morning, Ishida again feels that this is going to be another failure for him. Even if she moves on from Kurosaki, she has made it quite clear that she can’t be in any relationship -- especially with a human -- and that she’s fine with it. She has lived many years without these unnecessary emotions. 

Still… Ishida thinks there must be a purpose why she is posted to the world of the living again. One that is not  _ shinigami _ -related. Since she is already experiencing work, school, and other daily routine, why not add dating to the mix? And if he could be the one to give her that experience…

Rukia stirs a little in her sleep but she doesn’t wake up even as the Quincy tightens his hold around her and makes them both comfortable within the limited space on the sofa. Only time will tell, he supposes as his eyelids fall shut to welcome sleep. He likes what they have right now and doesn’t want to ruin it by telling her how he feels if she’s not ready for anything to change in their friendship.

* * *

 

“You’re not mine to have, Ichigo.”

_ “What about in another lifetime?” _

_ “Maybe in another lifetime.” _

_ “Will you wait for me?” _

_ “Maybe I will.” _

Rukia knows they can’t trust the words that come out of their mouth. It is when they speak through their bond -- fiery amber meeting scintillating sapphire -- that the truth exists.

* * *

 

_ ‘Cause time will pass me by, _ _   
_ _ Maybe I’ll never learn to smile, _ _   
_ _ But I know I’ll make it through, _ _   
_ _ If you wait for me _ _   
_ __ \-- Will you wait for me (Kavana) --

 


	15. Chapter 15

 

Lately, Ishida Uryuu realises that he seems to look forward to going back to his apartment rather than ‘nesting’ at the hospital like he used to do. Now, every time a shift ends, he hopes no one stops or pages him on the way to the locker room. He has also begun to find joy, and more than anything,  _ life _ in that apartment of his that used to be empty and cold. 

Another significant thing that he notices is that he hasn’t had any problem sleeping in the past few months. In fact, sometimes he sleeps so well, he doesn’t wake up until the sun begins to set on his day off. He still has the nightmares about death but they are getting very rare these days. More proper sleep and less nightmares equals an Ishida who doesn’t look half-dead like he did before. 

The midwife from the maternity ward says she hasn’t seen him in the cafeteria in a while. At first, she thought he has finally succumbed to his insomnia. Instead, she sees him much happier than before and no longer sports the dark rim around his eyes or the haggard look of an overworking doctor. 

It doesn’t feel like there is no purpose in his life anymore even though he still can’t be sure what that purpose is and he is beginning to see the bright side of all that has happened: that maybe there is a reason for his unsuccessful attempt at courting Inoue. She was never going to love him anyway -- he couldn’t change that -- and Kurosaki is better suited as a family man compared to him since the orange-head came from a better upbringing; a family that is more whole and warm than his despite the both of them losing their mothers at the same time. At least, Kurosaki had a father who would spare him more than just a disapproving glance, as oddball of a man as the old man might have been. If Ishida had married Inoue and built a family with her, he probably wouldn’t know the first thing about being a good father because he never had a good example to learn from. 

Aside from all that, he no longer feels lost. And while he isn’t sure if he has a direction yet, he is certain he’s heading somewhere. Upon discovering his feelings for the person that has changed his life, he also realises that she has become the reason he is more driven these days.    
And speaking of what drives him, he has not walked to work in a long time. Ever since Kuchiki Rukia moved in with him, he has been driving to the hospital, just so he could pick her up from the bar after work. Funny how much his life has changed since that  _ shinigami _ returned to the world of the living. 

Like what he is currently doing: watching a Japanese TV series on his couch -- which is something that he would never have done before Kuchiki- _ san _ became Rukia to him -- while she cooks their dinner in the kitchen. He has just returned from work. Nichibotsu Bar is closed for three weeks for a major renovation -- a facelift for the first time since it opened. Rukia is only required to go back to work on the third week to help set up the place again. 

He looks around the apartment and muses how it no longer looks barren. There is evidence of people actually living there, now: the hum of human activities within the walls as opposed to the vacuum he used to come home to. His sewing machine and her sewing toolbox sit side-by-side on the dining table. They still eat at the kitchen counter unless Chad drops by -- which he does from time to time and Rukia is more than happy to play hostess whenever she is at home. 

Not only does Ishida’s domestic life seem to have picked up, his social life has improved as well. He goes out for drinks sometimes, usually with Rukia. And even basketball has become more fun for him, especially when she decides to show up at the hospital and join him and his colleagues for a game. 

A few weeks ago, Rukia came across a furniture shop while they were out on a walk -- also quite a common occurrence on days they feel like eating out. She got them a couple of white bookshelves, which are almost filled up with novels, fashion magazines, and her collection of manga, now. She has made it her mission to load up their home with things to do for ‘recreation time’. There are even some movies piled up under the TV rack.    
The  _ shinigami _ has adapted to human life really well. It’s almost odd to see her come out of her  _ gigai _ sometimes. While the  _ shihakusho _ still suits her well, that death god life of hers seems curiously secondary to her human life now. He wonders how she feels about all these, and if she misses her home in Soul Society. She goes to the Urahara  _ shoten  _ to report to the  _ soutaichou _ on the early mornings of Saturday or Sunday every week after her patrolling. He usually doesn’t ask about her  _ shinigami _ business but she sometimes tells him about her conversations with Abarai, her brother, her daughter, or any other  _ shinigami _ who manage to tap the communication line. 

“Matsumoto- _fukutaichou_ is bugging me to smuggle some Scotch whisky to Soul Society for her,” Rukia says, taking his attention away from his thoughts… and the show he is apparently watching, which is a documentary on Suntory Distilleries. _Where did the TV series go?_

Ishida looks up from where he is sitting and realises she has been standing next to the sofa for a while, listening to the commentator speak about how Auchentoshan Scotch Whisky is a product of Beam Suntory, her hands in the pockets of her apron. For a while there, he doesn’t know what to say. She looks so naturally at home like that. She makes him  _ feel _ at home in his own home. 

“Are you all right, Dragon?” she asks, again snapping him out of his stupor. 

“Yeah, why?” he replies, and swallows when he realises his throat has gone dry. 

Rukia narrows her eyes at him. “You were staring.”

“I was? Sorry. Didn’t notice. Had a few things on my mind,” he says, trying to sound nonchalant as he remembers that she was telling him something before that. “What were you saying about the Scotch?”

“Oh… I said that Matsumoto- _ fukutaichou _ wants me to bring back some Scotch whisky for her.”

Ishida snorts, returning his eyes to the screen. “Her  _ taichou _ is not going to be very happy about that.”

“Yeah… well, he’s not very happy about me anyway,” she mumbles, taking a seat on the arm rest next to him as she watches the triple distillation process on the documentary. 

“Why? Did you annoy him like you always do with me? If I remember correctly, you’re not the type to disrespect an authority figure.”

“I didn’t annoy him. It’s just… something happened and we’re not on talking terms.”

“You were ever on talking terms with Hitsugaya Toushiro? All the times he was here, he hardly said a word, aside from barking orders.”

Rukia is silent for a while and Ishida thinks she is focusing on the show but when she speaks again, he is mildly taken aback at what she says. 

“We became friends after the war.  _ Nii-sama _ got us to train together because I had just acquired my  _ bankai _ and Hitsugaya- _ taichou _ had just achieved his full  _ bankai _ . And we’re both ice- _ zanpakutou _ wielders. So we trained on a weekly basis. He’s not the only one I trained with, though. I did that a lot with several other high-ranking  _ shinigami _ whenever I had the time. But three years ago, he confessed his feelings for me. Of course, I couldn’t return it because… well, you know…And ever since then, he stopped training with me. Said it was too painful for him to see me,” she chuckles sadly at the end.

Yes, Ishida is  _ only _ mildly taken aback because… who wouldn’t fall for someone like Kuchiki Rukia. After getting to know her, one would realise there is so much to like about her. But he is surprised all the same that the usually-inexpressive captain with the cold demeanour has the capability of feeling  _ something _ for anyone. Then again, it’s Kuchiki Rukia, we’re talking about. 

And that leads him back to his own feelings for her. If even Hitsugaya Toushiro was rejected because of ‘well, you know’, where will Ishida himself end up when --  _ if  _ \-- he ever decides to confess to Rukia?

“Poor guy. Must’ve taken a lot for him to confess. He doesn’t strike me as the type to show affection to anyone,” he comments. 

Rukia shrugs. “I wouldn’t worry about him. He’s now onto someone else. And Matsumoto said that before me, there was Hinamori- _ fukutaichou _ , who still can’t seem to get over her old captain. So his feelings for me was probably because we spent a lot of time together. Maybe he got confused, who knows?” she muses before she grabs his elbow and tugs him out of the sofa. “Why are we talking about him? Lunch is ready, Dragon. Let’s eat.”

As he allows himself to be dragged into their kitchen where two huge bowls of  _ katsudon _ is laid on the counter, he wonders if it’s the same for him as well. He wonders if he thinks he has feelings for this beautiful death god only because he is spending so much time with her and eating all the scrumptious food she cooks for him.

* * *

 

“Any idea how she is doing in the world of the living?”

“Fine, so far. She reports to me every week. She’s perfect for the job.”

“Is she still keeping to herself?”

The man with straw hat shrugs as he moves his pieces on the Japanese chess board. “I don’t think her schedule allows her to do that. And besides, she’s too polite to ignore a fellow comrade whom she’s living with.”

“Then, you did the right thing putting her up with the Quincy.”

“He’s the only option. I couldn’t possibly let her live with your son again, could I?”

Shiba Isshin chuckles sadly. “Of course… that would be awkward. Especially with Inoue around.”

“You don’t address your daughter-in-law by her first name?” 

“We never got to that part. They got married years after I left the world of the living,” Isshin replies, studying the board for options of his next move. 

Despite coming to the First Division for a game of  _ shogi _ every weekend with the  _ soutaichou _ , very rarely has he beaten Kyouraku. Apparently being hit in the head frequently with a clipboard doesn’t make the man lose his intelligence. If anything, he seems to have become more perverted, much to his  _ fukutaichou _ , Ise Nanao’s chagrin. 

“And the young Kuchiki?” Kyouraku asks, curious about why Isshin has always called the Kuchiki princess by her given name right from the start. 

“Rukia- _ chan _ is different. She was like a daughter to me.”

“Do you think you could’ve stopped the marriage?”

“I could’ve advised against it but I don’t think it would’ve been my place to stop it,” Isshin says. 

Kyouraku agrees, “True…” He was shocked when he heard about Ichigo’s marriage. But after being told of the circumstances, he knew he shouldn’t have been surprised that the orange-haired young man would’ve done what he did. Ichigo may be brash and uncouth at times, but he takes his responsibilities seriously.

“How’s Byakuya taking all this?” Isshin asks, leaning back in his chair. Failing to find another opening and having all his pieces blocked by Kyouraku, he decided to give up on the game and enjoy his  _ sake _ instead.

“Well, I did seek his approval first before I decided to assign her back there,” Kyouraku replies. “And he thought it would be beneficial for her because she was shutting everyone out after what happened with Ichigo- _ kun _ . Having to work and study in the world of the living demands that she interacts with the people around her. Here in Soul Society, she would bury herself under her paperwork.”

“I was worried about her going back there where it all happened,” Isshin admits.

“Ah…  _ I _ wasn’t. Rukia- _ chan _ is a real Kuchiki. Even more than the elders in the clan are. The Karakura Town has been the 13th Division’s jurisdiction even during Juushiro’s time. As his successor, she knows it’s her duty to watch over that place. I can trust her to be professional about it and not let her emotions get in the way. She’s also fulfilling her old captain’s wish for their division to be physically present there. The poor guy never got to do it himself because of his illness.”

“Yeah, that was the reason why I got sent to investigate on the hollowfication of the  _ shinigami _ . That’s how I met Masaki.”

“Do you think it’s all the work of fate that your lives intertwine like that?” Kyouraku wonders.

“Hmm… it has crossed my mind, I’m not going to lie. But seeing how it ends up like this now, I feel bad for Rukia- _ chan _ . And the fact that she -- a captain -- has to go back there for no particular reason other than to be a patrol police for Soul Society…” Isshin tells him honestly. 

But Kyouraku interrupts, “That’s not the only reason we sent her there.”

The clan head continues, “And to keep her mind off her recent woes with regards to Juushiro’s death and Ichigo’s…” 

“No, no, no… those are all incidental,” Kyouraku chuckles.

“So what  _ is _ the main reason?”

“Your daughter.”

“My  _ third _ daughter...” Isshin corrects. 

“I’m talking about Kurosaki Karin.”

“What?”

“Her  _ reiatsu _ has grown considerably stronger. Urahara managed to send her away from Karakura so she could focus on controlling her  _ reiatsu _ at a low density area,” Kyouraku explains.

Isshin stares at him, waiting for him to say that he is only kidding. But he doesn’t. “Does Ichigo know about this?”

“Karin- _ chan _ is keeping this to herself at the moment. She knows how her brother feels about losing his powers. She also knows Ichigo would definitely try to stop her from being a  _ shinigami _ .”

“Why are you only telling me this now?” Isshin demands. He knows that things work differently in Soul Society compared to the World of the Living where people know about what’s going on in each other’s lives when they are a family. But he has been playing  _ shogi  _ with the head captain every week since after the Thousand-Year Blood War.

“Isshin,” Kyouraku sighs. He swears, the Kurosaki-Shiba family has been driving him insane since forever. “She told Urahara she wants to surprise you with a visit here. But so far, despite how much she has grown as a  _ shinigami _ , Karin- _ chan  _ is still not strong enough to travel to the Seireitei; epecially because of how unstable this place has become after the war with Yhwach.”

The head of the Shiba clan takes a sip of his sake as he ponders upon what the  _ soutaichou _ has said. It’s not that he is upset that no one has told him about his daughter’s development. But rather that as a father, he has failed to notice the change in his family. And more than anything, he is disappointed with himself for not being able to be in the World of the Living for his children when they need him. 

“So what is Rukia- _ chan _ ’s role in all these?” he asks, remembering how they got to the topic of his daughter in the first place. 

Kyouraku explains further, “Urahara believes that Karin- _ chan  _ is ready to go back to Karakura after three years of being away. She is more or less at the same level as a sixth year academy student here now. And her  _ reiatsu _ does not spike out of control like it did before. So, she will be Karakura’s new  _ shinigami-daiko _ , operating under the captaincy of Rukia- _ chan _ .”

“In other words,” Isshin guesses. “She has been recruited into the 13th Division.”

Kyouraku nods. “That’s for as long as she is still alive. When she passes on, she may apply for transfer to another division; provided she doesn’t lose her power like her brother did.”

“Has Rukia- _ chan _ been informed of this?”

“She will be, in a week’s time, when Karin- _ chan  _ moves back to Karakura.”   
  



	16. Chapter 16

 

A moving truck parked in the car porch of his home is not something Ichigo expects to see when he returns from dropping off Kazui at the kindergarten this morning. He remembers getting a text from Karin, saying she will be back one of these days to ‘get a few stuff for my new place’, but it doesn’t stop him from wondering if Orihime has decided to move out. The latter would’ve been more reasonable, anyway, because  _ hasn’t Karin gotten a place of her own in Osaka? _ Only one way to find out…

As he removes his shoes at the  _ genkan _ , he hears Yuzu humming in the kitchen before she greets him in a jovial mood.

“What’s with the truck?” he asks, pouring himself a cup of coffee at the dining table.

“It’s a moving truck.”

“Really? Wouldn’t have guessed.”

Yuzu rolls her eyes at her brother and proceeds to pack a bento lunch box for herself. 

Ichigo is hit with another nostalgic moment when he sees the Chappy design on the box. That was the lunch box Rukia got for the both of them when she was living with them many, many years ago. The  _ shinigami _ got one for herself first. But when 11-year-old Yuzu practically drooled over it, Rukia had gone out to buy the last one available at the Chappy store right as they were pulling their shutters down. It’s the same box Yuzu has been using since.

_ Wonder if the midget still worships that stupid bunny like a god, _ Ichigo wonders. 

“You should go up and talk to her before she leaves,  _ Onii-chan _ ,” Yuzu says. “I’m going to be late for work. That girl has a knack of showing up at the oddest times!”

_ Ah… so it’s Karin.  _ “Why is she moving in the middle of the week? Doesn’t she have work?”

A careless shrug is all he gets from the younger twin, who is busy trying not to trip while putting on her shoes in a hurry. She rushes out with a quick ‘bye’, leaving Ichigo to listen to the sound of dragging and banging from upstairs.

He hears footsteps coming down the stairs and is about to throw a sarcastic remark at his other sister when he realises it’s Orihime instead. Clearing his throat, he gets up from his place at the dining table and takes his cup to the sink to wash. It’s been a little over a week since Orihime was discharged from the Psychiatric Centre and to this day, things have been even more awkward than before. They still hardly talk but the tension of having to co-exist under the same roof is so thick, Ichigo wishes he could just flick a switch and disappear whenever she is around.

He does not hate her, no. Going back to the same routine from before she was admitted isn’t a problem. But going back to the same routine from before, knowing they were forced to spend some awkward moments together — alone — at the Ward whenever he brought breakfast to her in the morning… 

“Ichigo.”

He turns around from his place at the kitchen sink to find her standing at the doorway, fidgeting with the strap of her handbag. 

“I’m going to the bakery,” she tells him.

He frowns, curious why she is going there. Being away for almost a month has cost her her job. That’s what they told her, but Ichigo thinks it’s because of her mental disorder that her boss — former boss — had let her go. Word had gotten around to them that she was not just hospitalised in any ordinary hospital; she was in a psychiatric centre.

“I need to get my job back.”

“You can get one somewhere else.”

“I like that one.”

“I think you should rest at home for a while.”

The silence that follows is deafening. Orihime continues to fidget with the strap of her handbag, her eyes busy with the tiles of the kitchen floor and Ichigo is staring at the top of her head with his washed coffee cup going back and forth between his hands. 

With a long-drawn sigh, Orihime nods and says, “Okay. Then, I’ll just go for a walk… and maybe, drop by Tatsuki’s place for lunch.” 

Ichigo watches her leaves and wonders if he can trust her not to go back to her apartment. He cannot keep her at home all the time. That would probably make her condition worse. He was told to treat her like normal and encourage her to join in their family activities, two things which are near-impossible because their normal has never been normal and they have never done any family activities together before. Doing it now would seem like a huge pretence.

“Oi!”

He blinks, being snapped out of his thoughts by his sister. “What?” he sasses back.

“You were daydreaming, that’s what,” she scoffs. “You know you can’t do anything about her condition if she isn’t even willing to help herself, right?”

“Why are you saying that?”

“Because it’s the truth and…” Karin sighs. “You’re feeling guilty about it. FYI, it’s not your fault she’s like that. You’re doing all you can.”

Ichigo tilts a brow, slightly amused by how much Karin has to say about Orihime when she has been keeping quiet all these while. “What has Osaka done to you?”

“Nothing,” she harrumphs before she inclines her head at the direction of her room. “I need a little help upstairs.”

“Don’t you have movers with you?” he asks as he follows Karin up to her room. The topic of Orihime seems to have come to a close just like that.

“My movers can’t help me make decisions on what to keep and what to throw away.”

Stepping aside to let a couple of movers through, Ichigo is surprised to see Karin’s bed dismantled and her side of her shared room with her sister is completely stripped off her belongings. Even her study table is missing from its usual place. “You’re moving your entire bedroom set all the way to Osaka? Who’s paying for the freight charges?”

Karin looks back at her brother like he is dumbest thing she has ever seen. “I never said I was moving to Osaka.”

“You said you were getting your own place.”

“I did,” Karin confirms. “But it’s in Karakura. A little bit across town from here, not 20 minutes away. I told you this on the phone.”

“Nope. I heard you said you were settling down in Osaka,” Ichigo insists.

“No,” she lets out a humourless chuckle. “I said things weren’t going well in Osaka and I’m moving back but I’m getting my own place. You were obviously not listening.”

“Does Yuzu know about this?” he asks as Karin tugs his elbow and leads him to the younger twin’s dressing table where a large stack of old  _ manga _ were tied together.

“You were on speaker phone. Yuzu was listening to our conversation. Ichi- _ nii _ , you need to get your brain checked,” she says before gesturing towards the reading materials. “Do you want to keep this?”

Ichigo wipes the dust off the first issue of the  _ manga _ and is struck again with the memory of a certain  _ shinigami _ reading one of these in his closet years ago. He remembers vividly how she would lie on her stomach, her legs kicked up behind her, huffing her stray fringe every time it got in the way of her reading, and whisper-screaming curses at the characters for being stupid enough to wander into dangerous alleys and getting themselves killed.

“They are yours,” he remarks, trying to hide the fact that he is somewhat sentimental about them.

“I’m a minimalist. I don’t like to keep old things that take up space. But Rukia- _ nee  _ used to love these. I don’t know how you feel about parting with some of the only things left of her in this house.”

While Karin does not like to pry or talk about stuff that does not directly concern her, she has always been very bold to speak out honestly. She doesn’t even care about ‘skirting around’ matters that are considered taboo in the house. Ichigo secretly admits that he envies this part of her. She did not so much as flinch when she mentioned Rukia’s name.  _ And she still addresses her like her big sister _ , he thinks.

“I don’t…” he begins. “I can’t, Karin. I have a family now. I…”

“Well, good,” she says, cutting him off and taking the stack of  _ manga _ with her as she walks out of her room. “I’m going to give these to her the next time I see her.”

It takes a few seconds but when he registers what she just said… “Wait, what?” 

Before she descends the stairs, Karin looks back at her brother and smirks. “I’ll be seeing  _ a lot _ of her from now on, Ichi- _ nii _ .”

Ichigo is about to ask ‘why’ but she beats him to it.

“She’s my  _ shinigami _ boss, that’s why.”

* * *

 

“Sorry… could you run that by me again, Shinigami? You’re training whom, now?”

“Have you gone deaf, Dragon? Kurosaki Karin is the new  _ shinigami-daiko _ and she’s working under me,” Rukia repeats, as she sniffles a little while she chops the onions for dinner. “Why do humans shed tears when they handle onions? Stupid  _ gigai _ that emulates too much of the human senses.”

“Why is she working under you and not that shopkeeper?” Ishida asks, ignoring her onion woes. 

Rukia wonders why, of all people, she has to be the only one who gets to listen to Ishida Uryuu’s whining voice. Every time their conversation involves anything Kurosaki, he somehow ends up sounding like a 5-year-old boy deprived of visiting the fun fair.

Despite the stink in her eyes, she turns to face him and wiggles her brows at him. “Because I’m her  _ shinigami _ boss.”

“That’s not even funny,” Ishida huffs, crossing his arms.

With a long exaggerated sigh, Rukia puts her knife down and crosses her arms in imitation of her landlord. “Uryuu, I’m trying to be professional here. And I don’t want to be triggered every time the name Kurosaki comes up. She is very keen about being a  _ shinigami _ and she has been keeping her training a secret for three years, now. It’s a long story which I just found out yesterday from the  _ soutaichou _ . When she comes over later, please don’t give her a hard time. What happened between me and her brother or her sister-in-law has nothing to do with her. She is still a friend of mine from years ago and now, she’s sort of my apprentice. So please…”

“How long is this ‘professional’ relationship going to last?” Ishida interrupts just as they hear the doorbell.

And Rukia cannot help the smile on her face. This guy can be so adorable at times, getting agitated over petty little things like that. “Till death do us part, of course,” she declares with a shrug, spinning him around so he would get the door.

“ _ Kami _ …”

Rukia chuckles as she returns to making dinner, barely hearing Karin’s greeting as she enters their apartment.

“Hello there, Quincy,” Karin laughs and Rukia thinks it must be the Ishida Uryuu trademark resting bastard face she sees that she thinks hilarious — because Rukia thinks so herself, too. “Wow, that’s my brother’s face whenever I show up unexpectedly at home.”

_ Well, maybe a different kind of hilarious… _


	17. Chapter 17

**** “Are you sure there’s nothing going on between the two of you?”

Rukia looks up from where she sits on the rooftop of Karakura High School and crunches her brows together at the younger girl who’s perched on the lamppost a little to her right. “For the millionth time, Karin. Uryuu and I are just friends. Why is it so hard for you to believe me?”

“For one, you call him by his first name. Affectionately so, might I add? I have never heard anyone saying his first name without his family name attached. And two, he looks at you like you’re a precious gift dropped down from heaven,” Karin explains, shadow-slashing her  _ zanpakutou _ as she balances on the metal piece covering the lamp.

“He does  _ not _ look at me like that.”

“Well, you did drop down from heaven…”

“I did not. Stop being dramatic about it,” Rukia chides her. “And can we not talk about this? We’re supposed to be watching over the town.”

“I am!”

“You’re showing off on the lamppost,” Rukia deadpans.

Karin shrugs. “I’m only doing what my mentor used to do,” she says, swinging her sword one more time before sheathing it.

“Your mentor?” Rukia asks. She doesn’t think Karin knows many  _ shinigami _ . But her guess would be either Yoruichi or Urahara.

“You!” Karin exclaims with a chuckle, leaping onto the rooftop to stand next to Rukia.

“When did I ever show off on a lamppost?”

“You were standing on a lamppost the first time I saw you, Rukia- _ nee _ ,” Karin replies, taking a seat next to her new  _ taichou _ . “Right before you walked through Ichi- _ nii _ ’s bedroom wall.”

There is a notable pause in their exchange at the mention of Ichigo’s name. In the little over a week since the two girls have been patrolling together, they’ve not once spoken about the Kurosakis. There wasn’t any need to bring them up anyway. And Rukia has been busy showing Karin all the different places they could Hollow-watch from. 

Rukia clears her throat, not wanting the awkward silence to go on for too long. “I wasn’t showing off.”

“But you were standing on that lamppost outside our house. As a kid who was into fighting and stuff like that, you looked like a warrior right out of a _shounen_ _manga_. You could say I was kind of star-struck,” Karin admits.

“You could see me even then?”

“Vaguely but, yeah. After that, you wiped us clean off our memories. I learnt about that when I was training with Urahara. And then when you showed up at our house again, crying for a place to stay, I remember thinking I had seen you somewhere before. I just couldn’t remember where.”

“Crying for a place to stay…” Rukia repeats with a snort.

“Good acting there, though. You really fooled Goat-Chin.”

“I’m not sure I did, Karin,” Rukia tells her. “Shiba- _ taichou _ knew who I was right from the beginning.  _ He _ was the one acting.”

Karin laughs out loud at the way Rukia addresses her father. “Dad is no longer a captain, you know that, right? He’s such a clown. How could anyone take him seriously? And to entrust a whole squad to him,” she scoffs. “Bless his soul, but Yamamoto- _ soutaichou _ must’ve been at least a brick short.”

“Shiba- _ taichou _ was one of the most indestructible  _ shinigami _ captains. And I suppose his position as a noble made him even more so. Noble bloods have supreme powers,  _ you know that, right _ ?” Rukia reiterates.

With a little chuckle, Karin gives her a solemn nod. “Those powers are a curse to our family. Look at what it did to Ichi- _ nii _ .”

Rukia sighs, feeling the guilty lump in her throat.“I’m sorry. His powers wouldn’t have awoken if I hadn’t met him in the first place.”

“Rukia- _ nee _ , I’m getting the feeling that you don’t even know how your coming to Karakura had saved our lives.”

“If it weren’t for my curiosity that night…”

“Our family would’ve been eaten up alive,” Karin interrupts.

Rukia looks back at the girl quizzically. 

“The Hollow was looking for my brother that night, and quite possibly, me. Because my  _ reiatsu _ was already starting to grow. None of us living in that clinic had the ability or the power to fight it. Dad’s  _ shinigami _ power was dead. If you hadn’t transferred your power to Ichi- _ nii _ , he wouldn’t have been able to purify it. You were there at the right moment, Rukia- _ nee.”  _

Once again, the silence was audible as Rukia ponders upon what Karin has said. A little distance away, voices of drunken youths laughing and teasing one another can be heard. Apart from that, the night is still and spared of any other activities. Till this day, Rukia is amazed at how uncaring the living is about the spirit world, even though most of them have their own beliefs in some kind of spiritual powers. They go about their lives, oblivious to the threats of mystical beings that are hungry for their souls and waiting for the right time to pounce on them.

Those people down there, they could be attacked any moment by a Hollow and they wouldn’t know what hit them. That’s what actually happens with mystery deaths and some cases of missing people. Rukia supposes… there is some truth in what Karin says: that she was at the right place at the right moment that night. Otherwise, the headlines in the papers on the morrow would’ve run along the lines of ‘Dr Kurosaki and his three children perish in house collapse’ or something like that.

“If you think it’s your fault that my brother is in the situation he is in right now, you couldn’t be more wrong. But I can’t tell you what to think because I don’t have the right to. I can, however, tell you that you have every right to be happy. You deserve that more than anyone else I know. And if my cousin is the one to give you that in this lifetime, why not give him a chance?”

Rukia wants to tell her she only has one lifetime and her lifetime is a long, and possibly  _ forever _ , one. Happiness has always been too petty a goal for her, especially when her main purpose in life does not give her much leeway to pursue her own interest. If it weren’t for this new mission — which she finds out recently, is partly to take Kurosaki Karin into her squad and train her as a  _ shinigami _ representative for at least two years — her happiness wouldn’t have crossed her mind at all.

Contrary to her denial of how the dragon looks at her, Rukia does notice that he has grown rather affectionate towards her in the few months she has been staying with him. She sees it, not only in the obvious out-of-the-way efforts he puts in to ensure she gets home safe, but also in the little gestures, which he probably doesn’t realise he does every day to make her feel at home. But she refuses to read too much into these, because she believes two people can be kind to each other and share a connection without making their relationship a romantic one. That… and she fears a repeat of what happened between her and Ichigo, leaving only heartbreak to all parties.

“Do you know why I decided not to move back to my old home?” Karin continues.

Rukia shakes her head even though the other girl isn’t looking at her.

“I don’t know how Yuzu puts up with it but there’s this constant tension within our household after Orihime started her therapy. When she was hospitalised the first time, I caught Yuzu weeping silently in the corner after putting Kazui to bed. She warned me against telling Ichi- _ nii _ about it because she knew he would not allow her to help if he finds out how emotionally affected she is. I handle this very differently from her. I’m not proud of myself at all because I’d usually run away from family issues.”

“Is that why you moved to Osaka?” Rukia asks.

“Kind of. When Urahara told me about my growing and unstable  _ reiatsu _ , I knew I had to leave before I caused problems to my siblings. If another Hollow like Fishbone D should come for me, at least I know they’d be safe away from me,” Karin explains with a wistful smile.

Protectiveness is a rather strong trait that runs in the Kurosaki blood, apparently. Her little time spent sorting out the archive in the half-destroyed library of the Kuchiki Manor after the war told Rukia as much when she stumbled upon some parchments that documented the Shiba clan history. They speak of how Shiba Isshin gave up his  _ shinigami  _ powers to protect Kurosaki Masaki who eventually became his wife; this same woman who died protecting their son from a Hollow years later. Rukia sees this protectiveness in Karin now as she used to see in Ichigo. And while Yuzu isn’t the aggressive one between the three, when it comes down to it, she would do anything and give up everything for her family. She did give up her childhood to take on the role of her mother when the Kurosaki matriarch died, cooking and cleaning for the household. Rukia makes a mental note to give the youngest Kurosaki a visit at her workplace one of these days. She misses the time she used to spend with the twins, talking about girls’ stuff while they were growing up -- things they couldn’t discuss with their father or brother.

“Enough about me and my depressing family,” Karin says with a bitter chuckle. “And back to you and Ishida.”

Rukia rolls her eyes at that and doesn’t turn her attention away from the peek of the rising sun in the horizon. Their patrol time is over and they should both be getting home for a short nap before their day begins with work and school.

“You really should consider giving him a chance, Rukia- _ nee. _ I’ve never seen him close to anyone before.”

“He and Sado- _ kun _ are close,” Rukia says with a shrug.

“They are good friends, yes. But the way he is with you is definitely more than friends. I don’t believe you can’t see that,” Karin insists.

Rukia heaves a long sigh as she gets up and dusts invisible dirt from her  _ shihakusho _ . “Whatever it is, this is as far as it gets. I can’t allow it to go further than this. We’re both from different worlds. It will not end up well, Karin.”

“Ishida Uryuu is not Kurosaki Ichigo, Rukia- _ nee _ .” Karin stands in front of the other woman, her arms crossed in defiance.

“Of course, he is not. But I am still Kuchiki Rukia, a soul without an ageing human body from a different world.”

* * *

 

“New shirt?”

Ishida grunts from his place at the doctor’s recreation room. ‘Recreation’ being a loosely used term at the moment, seeing as he is bent over the coffee table, rigorously scribbling in his patient’s diagnosis chart. He has a small stack next to his elbow which he has to attend to after two emergency surgeries he assisted in the last five hours. Paperwork piles up while you’re busy saving lives. There’s no magic to make it all disappear and it’s not something you could get someone else to do.

“And not the first time this week, I see,” his colleague comments further as he takes a seat in front of Ishida, a cup of lukewarm coffee in his hand.

“I’m flattered you notice the way I dress, Tanaka- _ sensei. _ But I regret to say that you’re not my type.”

“That, I know, Ishida. I’m certainly not pretty and petite enough for you like that tiny package of cuteness your roommate is. And neither are you mine but we seem to share the same type.”

“Good. If there’s nothing more to your idle talk, I’d like to get back to my endless reports,” Ishida replies, not once looking up from his chicken scratch. Sometimes he has to squint really hard to read his own handwriting, mostly trying to recall what it was he was transferring from his mind to the paper, rather than to make out the words.

Tanaka shrugs. “I’m just saying I’ve never seen you in pinstripes before. In all the years I’ve known you, you were always wearing plain shirts.”

Ishida hums. “People change.” 

“When they have someone new in their lives…”

“Yes, especially when that someone new is taking up fashion design and makes new shirts for them.”

Tanaka gapes at that. “Have I told you what a lucky bastard you are?”

“Apparently, it’s your favourite thing to say.”

The colleague nods and finishes what’s left of his coffee in one gulp, probably trying to drown the envy in his voice before he comments some more. “You must’ve been the saviour of the world in your past life to deserve someone like Kuchiki.”

“Quite possibly.”

Tanaka snorts as he tosses the empty paper cup into a nearby bin, muttering ‘lucky bastard’ under his breath as he leaves the other doctor to his work.

When he hears the door click shut, Ishida leans back on the sofa and sighs as he recalls what happened last Sunday when Kurosaki Karin showed up for breakfast. Again.

_ “Mind telling me what that is about?” he asks the  _ shinigami _ who’s placing bowls of rice and  _ miso _ soup on the dining table. It’s remarkable how it’s been fully utilised lately, and not just for Rukia’s sewing projects.  _

_ The dark-haired Kurosaki twin, who’s looking curiously between the residents of the apartment, has been dropping by to have early breakfast — “before Rukia- _ nee  _ goes to her classes” — and very early dinner — “before Rukia- _ nee  _ goes to work” — since she moved into the apartment building opposite theirs. Ishida thinks she’s more than just Rukia’s apprentice by now. But he tries to keep his mouth shut at the moment despite how uncomfortable he is around the new  _ shinigami...  _ because of the sparkles in those very sapphire eyes whenever Rukia plays hostess. Chad only comes by for dinner on Tuesdays when Rukia has her day off from work. In a couple of days, this dining table would have finally almost served its full purpose. Almost.  _ All we have to do is invite Kurosaki and Inoue, and we’d be complete, _ he thinks sarcastically. _

_ “What?”  _

_ “That,” he says, gesturing his chopsticks towards the neatly-folded shirts on the other end of the dining table. _

_ “Oh,” Rukia snickers. “Made some new shirts for you. Just because you’ve been an awesome roommate.” _

_ Ishida decides to ignore the smirk on Kurosaki’s face. “Dress shirts, being your project for this month?” _

_ Rukia nods, not even ashamed to admit him being the ‘awesome roommate’ wasn’t the primary reason why she made them. “We were experimenting on the different cuttings for different fabric materials. There’s poplin, oxford, twill, flannel, Japanese cotton, Indian silk, and even denim. Enough shirts to get you through the week.” _

He’s been wearing one every day since, today being the oxford grey with the maroon and red pinstripes. He couldn’t blame Tanaka for noticing because it’s definitely a far cry from the non-patterned shirt he usually wears. Rukia hasn’t seen him in any of them yet, though, as she is always long gone before he leaves for work and he goes home after a shower every night.

Scooping up the stack of papers from the coffee table, Ishida decides that he’ll finish up the charts at home tomorrow morning before his shift. The clock on the wall across from him says it’s time he showers before picking Rukia up from the bar. He slips the papers carefully into his bag and shoves his stethoscope into one of the pockets. Getting up from the sofa, he is about to remove his white coat when the door opens and in comes his roommate, her backpack slung over her shoulder. 

Rukia tilts one corner of her lips, a pleased expression on her face as her eyes wander up and down the shirt he is wearing. “I see it fits you nicely,” she comments when she is standing right in front of him, her palms automatically go up to brush the material covering his pectorals before she slides the white coat off his shoulders. “Take this off. I want to see the sleeves as well.”

Ishida briefly wonders if she feels his heart hammering under her touch and thinks how unfair it is that she is not affected by how close they are standing together. She is  _ never _ affected by their close proximity. It’s painfully obvious she doesn’t feel anything for him and he should disregard his own feelings to prevent any awkwardness between them. The last thing he wants is for them to skirt around each other at home just because she knows he likes her but she can’t entertain any  _ unnecessary emotions _ .

“I got the sleeves right!” Rukia exclaims with a heady giggle when he lays the doctor’s coat over his briefcase, something he cannot remember doing while being thoroughly distracted by the elation in her eyes.

“Yeah,” he manages to choke out after a gulp. “They are actually better than the ones I bought at the stores.”

“Nice,” she says, placing her palms on his chest again. 

“Thanks,” he says, taking a conscious step away from her in case she feels the quickening thumps and covers up the motion by picking the coat back up. “How did you get here? I was just about to have a shower before fetching you at the bar.”

“Nichibotsu dropped me off. He had to close earlier because of a family emergency and he didn’t want me to wait outside the bar on my own,” she tells him as she sits down on his spot at the sofa. “Are you all right?”

“I’m fine. Why?” 

“You’re a bit jumpy. What’s wrong?”

Ishida shrugs. “Just tired, that’s all. Will probably have to work when I get home later,” he replies. “I’m going to take a quick shower and then we can leave.”

“Okay,” she says with a nod that looks like she’s uncertain of what she is saying. “Take your time. I’ll wait here.”

Ishida exits the recreation room, silently cursing himself for being ‘jumpy’, as she put it. Ever since Rukia told him about Hitsugaya, he knows he could never let his feelings for her show. He doesn’t want to ruin what they have if this is as good as it gets. 

_ Lucky bastard? _ he repeats Tanaka’s words in his head as he goes under the hot water, hoping to scald away all evidence of him falling for the petite death god.  _ If only that were true _ .

* * *

 

Kurosaki Orihime thinks she hears someone groaning in pain beside her apartment building. Curious, she walks back and peers into the narrow alley. She sees a dark-haired man curled up on his side, holding onto his abdomen where blood is sipping through his white shirt.

“Are you all right, sir?” she asks as she takes a few tentative steps towards the man who is clad only in a tattered shirt and a pair of grey pants.

The man tries to say something but only manages to cough up blood in his attempt.

Orihime rushes to his side and places a hand on his shoulder, fishing her phone from her handbag with her free hand. “You’re hurt badly. I’ll call someone to get help.”

Before she could press the call button, a pale, cold hand with long fingers wraps around hers gently. “Don’t…”

She is stunned to hear the familiar quiet voice that speaks to her. And even more so when the man lifts his head to look at her, wincing in pain as he does so.

“Ulquiorra- _ kun _ …”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I cringed when I wrote ‘Kurosaki Orihime’.


	18. Chapter 18

 

“What do you mean by ‘lost soul’?” Rukia asks, furrowing her brows at Akon, the lieutenant of the 12th Division. They are currently having a video conference across the realm, as ordered by Kyouraku- _ soutaichou. _

“There has been a small flicker of  _ reiatsu _ in this particular part of Karakura for a month now,” the  _ fukutaichou _ explains, highlighting the area he is talking about. “At first, we thought it was a glitch in the system as it was not very consistent when we found it. So, we ignored the slight difference in the balance of souls occupying all three realms, thinking it’s a residue of Yhwach’s  _ reiatsu _ . However, the signature seems to have gradually gotten stronger in the past two weeks. And it has become quite obvious that it isn’t the fault of the system but rather a distinct  _ reiatsu _ of a soul that has appeared out of nowhere.”

Karin tilts her head, trying to comprehend the report of this Akon guy who looks strangely like a Romulan from the Star Trek franchise. She doesn’t even know how to read the map they use to plot Karakura Town. But while she may be fairly new to the Shinigami business, it doesn’t take a genius to know that a soul appearing out of nowhere isn’t something that is supposed to have happened. 

“We need to know whom this extra  _ reiatsu _ belongs to and it’s imperative that the two of you find out if the existence of this soul is a threat to the World of the Living,” Akon continues.

There is silence as everyone in the room and over the communication line seems to digest all these information. Even Urahara and Yoruichi who are sitting behind the  _ shinigami-daiko _ and her  _ taichou _ are observing the conference quietly, which is a rare occurrence since the two of them are always very noisy.

Just when Karin thinks the vacuum silence is getting rather awkward, Rukia speaks up again, “What do we do when we find the soul, Akon- _ fukutaichou _ ?”

“If the soul is hostile, you must purify it as you would a Hollow. Otherwise, we need you to have it incapacitated and send immediate word for us to collect it. The 12th Division will deal with it from there,” Akon replies. 

Rukia heaves a jaded sigh and Karin knows exactly why her captain looks so tired today. For the past god-knows-how long, the art university student has been preparing for a huge fashion show project. Between work, classes, patrolling, and the added stress of the project, she was run into physical and mental exhaustion. The event finally ended just a few hours ago. Rukia told her she had barely set foot in her apartment when they were both summoned to Urahara’s  _ shoten. _ It is a Friday night (Saturday morning, more like it) and from what Karin knows, Rukia’s boss has given her another two nights off to rest over the weekend. The Kurosaki lass is pretty sure her captain has no intention of spending those two days hunting for a lost soul. 

“Kuchiki- _ taichou _ …”

Karin perks up at the sound of Akon’s voice. 

“Since the  _ reiatsu _ is apparently docile at the moment and doesn’t seem to move any farther from this location, I suggest you begin your search after the holidays. I was informed that, with New Year’s Day in the World of the Living only mere days away, there is a lot of activities going on, all the excitement peaking even normal non-active  _ reiatsu _ . It will be difficult to find the one we are looking for with all these interference.”

“Sure,” Rukia says with a nod. “Anything else I need to know about the signature of the  _ reiatsu _ ? Something that would make it easier for me to identify it, that is.”

“Not at this point. Strength-wise, it is no different from the  _ reiatsu _ of Arisawa Tatsuki, Kojima Mizuiro, and Asano Keigo. In fact, we wouldn’t have noticed it if it weren’t because it didn’t  match any active ones in our records.”

“Is it possible that it’s a newly-awaken active  _ reiatsu _ ?” Karin asks, partially hopeful.

Akon smirks — or does something that looks like a smirk, Karin can’t really tell with that Romulan-ish expression of his. “If you’re thinking it is your sister’s, Kurosaki- _ san _ , you don’t have to worry. Hers is still quite dormant. All the other souls have been accounted for. No two souls are the same, you know?” he says before casting his eyes on Rukia. “But there are exceptional cases, which is very unlikely to happen again…”

Karin knows whom the Vice Captain is referring to. It’s common knowledge among the soul reapers that her brother and Rukia share similar, if not the same,  _ reiatsu _ signature after she awoken his  _ shinigami _ powers twice — the first time, it almost got her executed. Urahara once said it has even made it into Soul Society’s history books. ‘Soulmates’, some people would call them, he told her during one of their trainings. She wonders what’s the deal now that her brother has lost his powers.

“I suppose there’s nothing we can do about it until after the holidays,” Rukia says — and for a while Karin thinks she has somehow read her mind and is entertaining her musings. “We will get back to you on Wednesday afternoon, which is New Year’s Day, to confirm the location of this lost soul and begin the hunt after my night shift.”

Akon offers a nod before the video conference ends with a dismissal by Rukia, her  _ shinigami _ rank being higher than the man’s.

On their way back to their neighbourhood, it is obvious to Karin that her captain is trying really hard not to fall off the buildings they are flash-stepping through. It’s a good thing the dawn is calm and there are no plusses loitering around that need  _ konso _ . 

“Do you need me to get you lunch later, Rukia- _ nee _ ?” Karin asks as they land on the rooftop of Rukia’s apartment building.

The smaller woman shakes her head, her eyes already narrowing into tiny slits, and that’s saying a lot, seeing as she has the biggest and roundest set of eyes Karin has ever seen. “Uryuu is also having these couple of days off. He’s offered to do the cooking.”

“Such a sweet landlord. Remind me again why the two of you aren’t together…”

“Karin…” Rukia drawls but Karin can tell that she is too used to being ragged about her relationship with the Quincy to be mad at her.

The substitute soul reaper chuckles. “Just kidding, Rukia- _ nee _ . Anyway, you won’t be expecting Chad today. We’ve got a sparring match scheduled later with Tatsuki and some dude she’s currently going out with.”

At the mention of Tatsuki, Rukia’s eyes light up with curiosity. “Oh, she’s seeing someone?”

“Yes! Quite surprising, isn’t it? I’ll tell you all about it tonight if you’re not too tired to patrol. I can always do it on my own, you know?” Karin says. She has been trying to convince Rukia to let her do the patrolling on her own, especially the past few weeks when the older woman was practically buried under the pile of designs she was making for the fashion show. 

“All right. Maybe it’s a good idea for you to go around on your own for a bit. Promise me you’ll contact me immediately if a Hollow shows up.  _ Do not _ go at it alone,” Rukia warns.

“I won’t, Rukia- _ nee _ . I’m not suicidal like my brother.”

“You’d better not be. If nothing else happens, I’ll see you on Monday, then,” Rukia says with a yawn.

Karin bids her captain goodbye before they part ways. She has a few hours to sleep before meeting Chad, Tatsuki, and whomever the  _ kendoka _ ’s new boyfriend is. It makes her think about her brother. He should be the one enjoying life right now. But Karin is the one hanging out with his friends while he is trapped at home with the responsibility of looking after the woman who sort of cornered him into marriage. 

_ After all Ichi- _ nii  _ has done for the three realms, you’d think he would’ve gotten more than just some pension like an old retiree… _

* * *

 

“Are you sure Kurosaki isn’t suspicious?”

“He knows baking is my therapy. I bring home all my baked goods every day, so he lets me be. Besides, he doesn’t question me anymore since I’ve been diligent with my medication. I even take them in front of him. And I faithfully visit that dumb shrink according to schedule.”

“You don’t have to keep me here.”

“Where would you go?”

“I…”

“You’re not from here. And I’m the only person you know. Who else can take care of you? You’re safe in this apartment.”

“Somebody will find out sooner or later.”

“Not if we keep it quiet. I’m sorry you can’t really go anywhere. We can’t risk you being seen. But I’ll figure out what to do soon. Maybe we’ll move you to another prefecture once I’ve gained enough trust for them to let me go for a vacation on my own.”

“What about your son?”

...

“I don’t know, Ulquiorra- _ kun. _ He seems very distant these days. I know it’s my fault for neglecting him. But he’s better off without a mother who has a mental disorder.”

* * *

 

Ichigo watches his son go down the slide without much enthusiasm from where he is on one of the benches. Beside him, Tatsuki sits cross-legged and looks at the direction of the boy as well. Orihime left the house very early that morning. So when Kazui woke up and couldn’t find his mother, Ichigo decided to take him to the park to give him a distraction. Obviously, it isn’t helping much. 

They have been here for over an hour when Ichigo received a call from Tatsuki, asking where he was. 

_ “I’m outside your house, Ichigo, and no one’s home,” _ she said, to which he told her to meet him at the park.

“You’re not worried she’s always back at apartment?” Tatsuki asks, still staring at Kazui, who is now sitting on one of the swings, the tip of his shoe grazing the sand as he rocks back and forth.

Ichigo shrugs. “She tells me she feels better when she bakes. And since no one would hire her, I let her do it where she’s comfortable. She brings back all the stuff she makes every day. Now that breakfast and tea are taken care of by her, Yuzu’s cooking load is reduced to just making dinner. So it sort of makes her feel useful that she’s contributing to the family despite her condition.”

“Yuzu has started working, I heard.”

“Yeah…” Ichigo nods. “It took a long time for me to convince her to take up that nurses’ training offer at the hospital. She was so worried the house would collapse without her.”

Tatsuki scoffs. “It probably would have if you were still an indolent bachelor,” she remarks, throwing a punch at his shoulder.

“Yeah, how things have changed,” Ichigo smirks, recalling what a slob he was back in high school. Yuzu would nag all day about him leaving his dirty laundry lying around all over the bedroom floor. Until one day…

_ “Do you realise you have something called a laundry basket located beside your desk, a little to your right as you walk into this room?” _

_ Ichigo looks up at the petite girl in his closet and puts on his threatening scowl. _

_ Rukia raises an eyebrow at him, “Do you?” _

_ “If you don’t like tripping over my stinky socks and jerseys, you’re welcome to find somewhere else to stay, Midget.” _

_ The girl smirks, gets up from where she is lying down on her stomach and hops down from the closet. “I’d be glad to…” she says with a shrug as she moves towards his bedroom the door. _

_ Ichigo immediately grabs her elbow before she could walk past him. “Don’t…” _

_ “What? I’m just going to ask if your sisters would let me sleep in their room.” _

_ “They’re not supposed to know I’ve been keeping a girl in my room…” _

_ “Well, if I were to stay with them, I’d have to let them know, right? And I wonder what they will think of all this… arrangement,” Rukia goads, motioning her free hand between the two of them. _

_ “Are you crazy?” he almost screams, his hand tightening around her arm with a death grip. _

_ She sighs, prying his fingers away. “Just throw your dirty laundry into the basket all right? Do you know how many times I have to hold my breath every day when your sister comes in to pick them up from all over the floor  _ and _ your desk? I think she heard me once. Maybe she’s just pretending not to know. But before she confirms her suspicions, would you please stop being an arse of a brother. She’s still a little girl. She should be playing outside in the park with other little girls instead of being a mo… maid to all of you. It wouldn’t hurt to lessen her chores a bit.” _

Ichigo knows Rukia was refraining from mentioning the word ‘mother’ in front of him, then. She was always very sensitive towards how he felt about his mum. After that day, he tried his best to help out around the house. Sometimes, he would even take his sisters out to the park so they could behave like the little children they were supposed to be. He realised that his grief over his mother’s death had caused him to be a selfish idiot wallowed in guilt and unable to see how it was affecting the entire family as well. Rukia was the one who helped him see that. She was the one who helped him get over his grief and guilt. She was the one who dried his rain. 

Watching his son sulking on the swing right now, he wishes she could be here for the little boy the way she was there for him and his sisters. Even though she’s the last person Kazui needs in his life, Ichigo always feels there’s no one more suitable for the role of caring for another person’s emotional needs like Rukia is. He wishes he could talk to her about what he’s going through. She always knows what to say and whatever she says always brings comfort to a broken soul like his. 

_ Is it wrong to miss the other part of your soul? _

“You should take him home, Ichigo. He looks tired,” Tatsuki says, motioning towards the boy who is still on the swing but hasn’t moved much in a while now.”

Ichigo gets up from the bench but remains standing where he is. “I promised him I’d take him to that new place down the road for a kid’s meal and ice-cream. Want to join us for lunch?”

“I can’t,” his childhood friend hesitates. “I’ve got a lunch date with someone. After that, we’re meeting your sister and Chad for a few rounds in the ring.”

Ichigo smirks. “So someone has managed to impress you enough for you to let them date you, huh?”

Tatsuki rolls her eyes. “It’s just one date, you arse.”

“Still,” Ichigo insists with a nod. “How’s Chad, by the way? I’ve only met him once since he moved back here. And that was when he was picking up Karin’s things from the house.”

Ichigo suspects there’s something going on between his former comrade and his sister. If it had happened a few years back, he probably would’ve given Chad the no-nonsense big brother talk. But he finds that if there’s any guy he could trust to go out with his sister, it would be Chad. The guy wouldn’t harm a fly.

“He’s doing all right at the university. A very respectable coach and one of the favourites around campus. You don’t call him the Gentle Giant for nothing,” Tatsuki tells him. “But if you’re worried about him and Karin…”

“I’m not…”

“They are not together.”

“What?”

“Yeah… Karin says she’s not ready to commit. So they are great friends, sparring partners, roommates…”

“Roommates?” Ichigo chokes. Going out is one thing. But living together…

“Relax,” Tatsuki chuckles. “They are sharing an apartment with three other students from the university.”

Ichigo hums, making a mental note to ask Karin about this. He doesn’t want to put Tatsuki in a spot and have her tattle about his sister to him. “Oh well, have fun at your date. Tell Karin to behave. Funny I should have to get you to convey that message to my sister.”

“It is,” Tatsuki agrees with a grin just as her phone begins to ring.

Ichigo waves a hand at her before he steps away towards his son, hearing her tell the caller her location. He doesn’t get far before a man crashes backwards into him and he is taken by surprised at the sight of that familiar person who turns around to apologise.

“Renji?”

“Oh hey, Ichigo. Have you seen Arisawa?”

Ichigo is too stunned to reply but the redhead seems to have found Tatsuki who is standing a few feet away from them. 

“There she is. See you around,” Renji says, patting Ichigo’s shoulder a couple of times before jogging casually towards the woman.

_ What in the Living World is going on? _

* * *

 

_ Ishida fights his drooping eyelids to finish the last bit of the movie they are watching from the settee of their living room. It has been a tiring day for the both of them — the end to his two weeks of night shifts and Rukia’s entire month spent on preparing for Project Runway. The fashion show event was finally over last night and she has gotten two days off from Nichibotsu, even though it’s the weekend. The new guy — Ishida can never remember what his name is — is capable of handling the crowd on his own. _

_ Rukia swears she would reward herself with two lazy days of food and movies (and the inevitable patrolling duties, of course), and she is determined to make Ishida indulge in the same slothfulness. And that’s how he finds himself stuck under the weight of the deceivingly petite girl who is curled up beside him with her head heavy on his shoulder  _ —  _ as she is already fast asleep  _ —  _ and her legs crossed over his lap. He has one arm wrapped around her shoulders, his other hand drawing lazy circles on one of her ankles with his thumb. He cannot recall at which point of the movie she adjusted herself into that position but he supposes they are both either too tired or too engrossed in the show to notice.  _

_ As the closing soundtrack begins to play, he stretches his spine to get rid of the kinks from sitting too long in the same position and prepares to carry the  _ shinigami _ into her room. Slipping his arm under her knees, he unconsciously burrows his face into her hair and plants a kiss on the side of her head before he could stop himself. _

_ Rukia stirs at the motion, lifting her head from his shoulder and squints her groggy eyes at him, causing him to go rigid at the prospect of her noticing the intimate gesture he so foolishly performed a moment ago. His head reels, seeking for an appropriate excuse should she question him about it. _

_ The girl groans, “How long was I out?” _

_ “About half the movie,” Ishida says after he clears his throat.  _

_ Rukia huffs an agitated sigh and throws a glare at him. “You should’ve woken me up, Dragon.” _

_ “How could I when you were obviously too tired to keep your eyes open?” he replies defensively. _

_ “Urgh, I’m awake now,” she grumbles, even as she drops her head back onto his shoulder and snuggles her face into his neck. _

_ Ishida is stunned into silence when he feels her warm breath on his skin, the smell of lavender once again assaults his senses as her disheveled hair tickles the side of his face.  _ What the hell is going on?  _ he panics.  _ This shouldn’t be happening. She’ll throw a fit when she is fully awake. 

_ “Shinigami,” he breathes and curses himself for the tremor in his voice. “C’mon. I’ll get you to bed.” _

_ Rukia makes a guttural sound of protest. “But you’re so comfy,” she whines, something he has never heard before. _

_ And just when he thinks it couldn’t get any worse, she shifts her position on the settee to straddle him, locking him at the hips with her knees. _

_ “Rukia?” his voice comes out uncharacteristically squeaky. _

_ “Shh…” she chuckles, brushing her lips against his. _

_ Ishida swears, just the brief feeling of sharing the same breath has taken his own away.  _ Seriously, what the hell is going on? Why is she…  _ But his thoughts are brought to an abrupt halt when she kisses him again, this time more insistent than before and he cannot help but return it in the same fervour. She tastes like the sweet tea they had earlier during dinner. And when she drags her tongue across his bottom lip, he wonders why they have not done this before.  _

_ “Rukia…” he breathes against her lips. “You have no idea how long I’ve waited for this.” _

_ “Hmm…” The death god nips playfully, framing his face with her palms. “And here I thought I was the one who grew tired of waiting.” _

_ Ishida lets out a chuckle, nervous and relieved at the same time, one hand tightening against her hip while the other splays its fingers across the flat her stomach under her shirt. _

_ His death god gasps as he drags his palm up her spine and he takes advantage of their pause to bring his lips down to her jaw and then, her slender neck, peppering her with open-mouthed kisses and eliciting a contented moan from her throat. _

_ “Uryuu…” Rukia mutters, her fingers digging into his scalp where his undercut is. _

_ Ishida hums, wanting to lean into the touch of her hands and to continue nipping at her skin at the same time. He feels her tugging his hair instead to bring his face up to hers and is so close to tasting her lips again when he hears a series of loud, insistent banging on the door. _

“Ishida! Rukia- _ nee _ !”

The doctor groans, his eyes heavy with sleep as he tries to make out where he is. Another groan follows — definitely not from him — and he realises Rukia is slowly being roused from her slumber as well. It takes him a moment before he recalls the dream he just had and his eyes widen in horror as the  _ shinigami _ stretches herself from where she is curled up against him, her legs still crossed over his lap and his arms around her petite body.

Rukia huffs and casts a glare at the door. “What does that girl want now?”

Ishida swallows, unable to think of something coherent to say. He remains seated in that position as his roommate wriggles herself away from him and stands up to stretch some more, revealing the skin he dreamt of touching a moment ago as her shirt rides up her torso.

“I’ll get it,” she grumbles, stepping away from the settee to get the door, oblivious of the way the Quincy does not seem to respond to anything she says. 

Before she reaches the door, Ishida manages to snap himself out of his stupor and disappears into the bathroom where he rapidly splashes his face with water in an attempt to clear his head of that vivid dream. A pointless efforts, he suspects as he stares at his own reflection in the mirror — and listens to Rukia chiding an obviously inebriated Karin for interrupting her sleep ‘but thank you for the cake’ and locks the door, returning the apartment to its silent state once again — because the dream felt so real, it’s probably going to haunt him for a long, long time. 


	19. Chapter 19

 

>  

The last thing he remembers before he found himself being tossed into that dark alley a month ago was moments before his death. His internal organs were completely destroyed by Kurosaki Ichigo, no amount of regeneration could save his life as the Cuatro Espada. Seconds before his soul disintegrated into nothingness, it was the girl’s hand reaching out to him that gave him the feeling of the biggest regret in his entire Arrancar life. That girl — Inoue Orihime — was the one who made him realise what a heart was: something more than an organ, more than just a feeble emotion, more than everything he had ever fought for. _If only I was given the chance to experience what the heart can do to the fullest_ , he thought as he discovered too late that the heart was within his reach but his body had already dissolved into particles in the air.

Ulquiorra Cifer doesn’t know how he got to the World of the Living, in the body of a human, no less, with a heart beating in his chest, and all his limbs and organs working. Even his Hollow hole has been sealed. He was still bleeding through a gash in his abdomen. It was as if someone had shoved all his internal organs into that human body and stitched it up.

Curiously, the last face he saw before he died was also the first one he saw when he returned from the dead. Of all the places in the World of the Living, of all the places in Karakura Town, he wonders why did Fate — if it was indeed the work of Fate — decide to spit him out at the alley next to Inoue Orihime’s apartment building, where she would be the one to find him.

As he runs through the entire event of his death and resurrection, and how he has ended up staying with this girl — now a woman — he thinks that maybe it is Fate’s way of granting him his dying wish to experience what the heart can do. But why the time-skip of over ten years?

While he doesn’t mind being given a second chance at life, he knows this cannot be something that’s presented to him freely without a motive somewhere. And he needs to find out what it is. Everything has a purpose in life and in death.

What exactly happened during the Thousand-Year Blood War with the Quincy race, which the woman briefly told him about? He was surprised she has lost her powers and that Kurosaki Ichigo, who is now her husband, has also lost his. Apparently, the hybrid Human-Shinigami-Hollow-Quincy was sucked dry of everything he had in the process of saving the world.

Ulquiorra needs answers. The woman doesn’t seem to know much and has no way of getting him the information he is looking for. What he wants to do now is to try contacting Hueco Mundo. According to the woman, Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez and Tier Harribel are the ruling Espada after the war. He hates the Sexta Espada. Tier never liked him either. But they are his only option right now. There’s no way he could get help from Soul Society. They’d definitely throw him into the Muken alongside Aizen Sousuke.

Inoue Orihime is currently back at Kurosaki Ichigo’s home where their family is. It’s New Year’s Eve in the World of the Living and he is getting restless. Stranded in an unfamiliar place for more than a month could do that to anyone.

She has left him with a communication device they call ‘the mobile phone’. The number is not registered, she tells him, so there’s no way of tracking it back to him. Surprisingly, he seems to have become accustomed to using it without much difficulty. Within the first day, he has figured out its main functions and within the first week, he has mastered a couple of mobile games which he isn’t really interested in but they help to kill time whenever the woman is not around. Maybe it’s just one of the abilities that come with being human — being ‘savvy with technology’, as the woman pointed out.

And speaking of the woman, he doesn’t know what her role truly is in this resurrection of his. If it is the matter of the heart, he is uncertain how it works now that apparently her heart already belongs to Kurosaki Ichigo. So what is Ulquiorra supposed to do with his new-found heart, then? He has no idea how to be human. He has no idea what to do with this new body which is still as foreign to him as the first day even though he has acquired so many human skills naturally.

 _I need to find out why I am here_ , he thinks for the millionth time since he got here. _There must be someone who knows something about my reappearance._

Mindlessly, he taps at the phone, unsure of what he is looking for. He opens the application called _Google Maps_ and looks at all the roads and landmarks it shows him. _Karakura Station._ The name rings a bell. He remembers coming out of the Garganta here the first time he came to Karakura. That’s where the people take that train thing to go from one place to another.

He looks out the window when he hears popping sounds in the distance. The woman told him there would be a firework display at midnight. It won’t even be midnight for another three hours but some people must be quite eager to get the year over with.

A bold idea comes to him. If he were to go out when the official fireworks begin, nobody would notice him because everyone would be busy celebrating the New Year. Besides, he looks like a normal human being now. No more bat-like features, no more tear lines running down his cheeks, no more cat eyes. Just a normal man with dark hair, pale skin, and green eyes. He isn’t very tall (compared to men like Kurosaki, Grimmjow, Aizen, and Ichimaru Gin), despite looking quite lanky, so he is quite sure he would blend in well with the rest of the Japanese residents of Karakura.

Where would he go, though? He would need a plan, wouldn’t he?

He taps again at the map, enlarging the area where the station is and taps on the name.

The fireworks go off with a series of pops again, causing him to jump a little. This time the sound is much louder and closer to him than before. He opens his eyes — when did he close them? — and realises he is no longer in the woman’s apartment.

Around him, people are walking up and down a wide staircase, all dressed in thick and warm clothing, and they seem to be rushing from one end to another.

Not sure what to do, he looks down at the mobile phone in his hand, figuring he should give the woman a call. But it blinks back at him: YOU HAVE ARRIVED AT YOUR DESTINATION — KARAKURA STATION.

* * *

 

Rukia takes a deep breath as she steps out of the taxi and smoothens the skirt of her attire for the night. The Karakura Ministry of Health organises a gala dinner and dance every year for representatives from the different departments of the four Karakura Public Medical Centres — Karakura Cardiology Centre, Karakura Maternity Home, Karakura Haemodialysis Centre, and Karakura General Hospital — to come together to usher in the New Year. Once again, she is attending as Uryuu’s plus-one, but they would be arriving separately as the doctor has to make a few rounds at the ward before the function.

This time, she has opted to wear one of the evening wear she made for last Friday’s fashion show — a two-piece evening gown. It is the only thing blue in the collection and she knows Ishida Uryuu as the ‘always blue’ guy. It has an off-shoulder top which shows off about two inches of her midriff before the beaded waistband of her long, inverted-pleat skirt begins hugging her hips. A small train follows as she descends the stairs towards the ballroom. Uryuu told her he would change into his formal dinner attire at the hospital and meet her at the venue. Apparently, Tanaka is hitching a ride with him, which annoys the Quincy to no end.

Rukia has only managed to grab a glass of cocktail from a passing tray when she is ambushed by a giggling girl.

“Rukia- _nee_ ! You don’t know how happy I am to see you here,” Kurosaki Yuzu exclaims, pulling the _shinigami_ into a tight hug.

“Yuzu!” Rukia returns the hug with a squeeze. “You’re all grown-up and gorgeous!” she remarks, pulling away to eye the younger girl’s simple, greyish-silver, halter-top evening gown.

Sporting a blush, Yuzu tells her in a hushed voice, “It’s my first evening gown. Karin got it for me. The head of my department picked me to represent the maternity home because I’m new. I’m so nervous, Rukia- _nee_! I’ve never attended a formal function before. I don’t even know how to behave.”

“At least you’re not from the Edo Period…”

Yuzu giggles. “You don’t look a day older than 18. Nobody would know,” she says, looping her arm through Rukia’s elbow as the two of them walk to a less crowded area of the room. “What are you doing here? Are you a volunteer at the hospital?”

“Err…” Rukia gulps as she realises that Yuzu might not know much about her and Uryuu. But then again, don’t the Kurosaki twins tell each other everything? “I’m here as Ishida Uryuu’s plus-one.”

Yuzu gasps and turns to completely face Rukia. “That’s right! The two of you are living together.”

“Actually, I’m renting a room from him.”

“What’s the difference?”

“Quite a bit, especially where the implication falls.”

The light-haired girl smirks. “Fine line, I’m sure.”

“Yuzu…”

“All right, all right. I won’t tease you. But I think your Prince Charming just found you,” Yuzu whispers, her eyes cast over Rukia’s shoulder at the entrance of the ballroom. “And what do you know… you’re colour-coordinated.”

Rukia doesn’t know why she feels twitchy all of a sudden. At the mention of Uryuu — and possibly their planned colour-coordination for yet another _sort of_ date, that particular organ in her _gigai_ seems to be thumping a little louder, a little quicker than before. She takes a huge swig of whatever beverage it is in her glass and tries to hydrate her throat which is fast becoming parched. _Calm down, Rukia. He’s your roommate. You’ve walked in on each other half-naked a dozen times in the bathroom._

Of course, that thought does not help at all…

Neither does Yuzu as she waves the man over with an, “Ishida- _kun_!”

But a few things happening at once upon his arrival give her some time to clear her thoughts: a couple trying to get passed where she and Yuzu are standing, causing Ishida to have to give way to them by standing directly behind her and overwhelming her with the familiar warmth he emanates. At the same time, a group of chattering ladies comes up from out of nowhere, almost jostling Rukia off-balance in her four-inch heels if not for Uryuu’s arm snaking around her waist and pressing her back into his chest to keep her upright. Thank _Kami_ her dress does not have a bare back this time around.

Rukia tries to ignore the blush creeping up her face and the shiver running down her spine at the touch of Uryuu’s hand on the flat of her stomach.

“Hey…”

“Ishida- _kun_!” Yuzu greets before Rukia gets to respond to Uryuu’s quiet ‘hey’ in her ear. The bubbly girl has to raise her voice to do so because the chattering ladies decide that the best place to hold their loud discussions is next to the trio, so much for it being a less crowded area. “Haven’t seen you in years. You look quite different now.”

“Kurosaki- _san_ ,” he greets back and Rukia feels his cheek lightly teasing her up-do as he gives the trainee nurse a nod. “You’re all grown up.”

“That’s what Rukia- _nee_ said!”

Uryuu’s fingers grazes her skin as he moves to stand beside her and her heart skips a beat when she realises he is not removing his arm from around her waist.

“Lovely,” he mouths, giving her dress a quick appraisal.

“The dress?” she asks.

But they are interrupted once again, this time by a voice from behind. “Would you stop being such a ladies’ man, Ishida.”

“Tanaka,” Uryuu addresses their new company through his clenched jaw.

“Is Kuchiki not enough for you? Who is this angelic beauty over here?” he questions, taking Yuzu’s hand in his and touching his lips to her knuckles.

Rukia rolls her eyes as she watches a flustered Yuzu introduce herself to the other doctor but she fails to conceal her amusement and a snicker leaves her throat. Uryuu casts her a disapproving glare and pinches her exposed skin, eliciting from her something between a yelp and a giggle.

Tanaka tuts, “Get a room, you two.”

And Yuzu has the audacity to nod and grin mischievously at her.

“But before that, you look absolutely stunning, Kuchiki- _san._ It’s a shame you’re not here with me instead.”

“Don’t you have somewhere to be, Tanaka?” Uryuu snorts.

“Actually, _I_ have somewhere to be,” Yuzu says, looking around the ballroom. “I’d better go sit with my colleagues. The dinner is starting soon.”

Rukia nods. “I’ll see you again before the dinner is over, Yuzu.”

“Okay. Have fun, Rukia- _nee_ ,” Yuzu replies, giving Rukia another hug as she excuses herself from the two men as well.

“Let me walk with you, Kurosaki- _san_ …” Tanaka offers.

Rukia hides her snigger as Yuzu stammers. It’s her first formal function, of course she wouldn’t know what to do. “Let him, Yuzu,” she tells the younger girl.

“O-Okay…” Yuzu nods, taking Tanaka’s proffered arm.

Rukia expects it to be awkward when the two are left alone where they are but Uryuu is quick to place her hand upon the crook of his elbow to lead them to his assigned table.

“Can’t seem to get rid of the guy,” he grumbles.

“Oh, don’t complain. He’s being affectionate with you,” she chuckles in response.

“He made it quite clear to me that I’m not his type,” Uryuu says as he pulls out a chair for her. “And he was certain we both share the same type.”

“Really? And what’s that?”

“Pretty, petite, a tiny package of cuteness that is my roommate… his words, not mine.”

Rukia snorts, “He’s still not over that?”

“By ‘that’, you do mean you, right?”

“Yeah, well, I don’t want to seem presumptuous.” She shrugs.

“Right…” Uryuu scoffs, nodding his thanks at the waiter who poured hot _ocha_ into their cups. “I wouldn’t worry about him, though. He has the attention span of a two-year-old.”

“It’s not him I’m worried about,” she mumbles and hopes at the last moment that Uryuu doesn’t hear it.

But he does, if that solemn look he gives her is any indication. Neither seems to know how to proceed from there and even if they could both feel the prolonged tension and secret questions being relayed between their stares, nothing is spoken aloud as they are interrupted by the ringing of Rukia’s _denreishinki_.

* * *

 

Ishida isn’t the type to mingle but after sitting through almost two hours of the dinner with Chappy and having to put up with her stiff acting, he had to excuse himself from the table. While she may look like Rukia, she is certainly not Rukia. When it comes to common topics of discussion, he and Chappy have close to zero between them. It was a good thing the dinner comprised of speeches, KPI videos from each medical centre, and a presentation of what the Ministry’s goals are for 2014. Before he left the table, the _gikon_ was entertaining an old lady with an air of aristocracy whom Ishida doesn’t even know.

Moments later, he finds himself sitting at the bar, nursing a bottle of _Sapporo_. He would’ve preferred the Single Malt — something stronger like the Hibiki 21 — but the bar doesn’t have that for the function.

_“It’s not him I’m worried about.”_

That’s what Rukia said. And with the genuine concern she held in her eyes when they looked back at him, he knew instantly that she knows of his feelings for her and she’s probably trying to let him down slowly. Those passionate sapphire orbs are the windows to her soul, as corny as that sounds. At least to him, they are. However, on the off-chance that the feeling is mutual, the outcome would still be the same because she wouldn’t want to complicate their relationship with _unnecessary emotions_ , would she?

Much as he is disappointed that she is not here with him throughout most of the dinner, he is glad for the interruption by Soul Society. Anything to delay the inevitable rejection.

 _‘I’m needed at the_ shoten _. Will try to be back before midnight or before you run Chappy down with your car.’_

Ishida scoffs as he reads their conversation again. She’s still able to joke, which is a good sign because it means she wants to maintain the ease in their relationship. But it could also be a bad sign if she is using the joke as a means to steer away from the obvious tension on the table. It was different when they were at the guessing stage.

‘I don’t think I’ll be able to do that. She looks too much like you.’

 _‘It’s only a_ gigai _, Dragon. We can easily replace the body.’_

‘Wish I could say the same about all my dying patients.’

It took her 45 minutes to reply to that with a Sheldon Cooper ‘there, there’ gif. He can tell it was a distracted response from her. Something serious must have come up at the _shoten_ … or Soul Society.

‘Everything all right?’

_‘Tell you about it later.’_

That was about an hour ago. Or a century. It’s stupid how being away from her can sometimes feel like forever.

“Would you like another set, sir?” the bartender asks.

Ishida realises he is halfway through his third bottle. The Sapporo set comes in threes. Three bottles in less than an hour. That’s what happens when you have time aplenty but you’re short on company. “No, thanks,” he mutters to the pony-tailed man in black before downing the rest of his beer in one go.

Removing himself from the stool, Ishida nods at the bartender and walks out of the bar towards the ballroom. He decides to take the long way through the balcony instead to kill time. There’s 20 minutes to go before the countdown. Chappy has not come out to look for him. It probably means she is still invested in the conversation with the old lady. Her inability and lack of interest to flirt is a consolation to him because it means he doesn’t have to babysit her. Otherwise, Rukia would go _Hakka no Togame_ on both their arses and it’s not going to be pretty.

With the sky littered with stars, the night looks promising, contradicting with his emotions. It’s not to say that he has high hopes for their relationship to go further — no, he wouldn’t dare deceive himself with that sort of expectation — but it feels like the universe is mocking him about his situation. Not only will he suffer another round of unrequited feelings, he might even begin the New Year alone.

Shoving his hands into the pockets of his pants, he drags his feet along the balcony. There is no one around so he can sulk if he wants to.

But that’s when he sees her. From this angle, he can’t tell if it’s Chappy or Rukia because her back is facing him. He slows his pace as he approaches her, trying to buy time for no particular reason.

“You’re being difficult, Renji. If you don’t tell her, I will.”

So, it’s Rukia… and she’s on the phone with Abarai.

Ishida stands beside her quietly so as not to interrupt her conversation and places his hands on the banister. Aware of his presence, Rukia glances up at him with a smile of relief and leans into him as she latches her free hand on his arm.

This close, he can hear Abarai’s voice grumbling into the phone. The redhead must’ve said something to infuriate Rukia because she jerks her head away from Ishida’s shoulder to spit at him, “Tatsuki is not like that. I seem to know her better than you do and you’re the one dating her.”

That’s news to Ishida and he cannot help the curious look he fixes on Rukia, which she returns with an eye-roll and a shrug.

“She’s stronger than you think she is and she can handle this. Don’t be an idiot, Renji. You’re entrusted with the task because there’s no other way around this,” she continues before her voice softens a little with a sigh, all the while picking at the sleeve of Ishida’s coat. “Don’t let your feelings affect your job. Just talk to her about it tonight, since you’re staying at her place. Karin and I will go over in the morning to discuss with her how best to tackle this. She’s an expert about all things Orihime.”

Rukia leans her elbows on the banister as she listens to Renji’s reply. Ishida is right about it being something serious if both Arisawa and Inoue are involved. There hasn’t been any threatening situations in the past ten years. Even the Hollow activities have ceased after an agreement made between Soul Society and Hueco Mundo to maintain peace between the three realms. The remaining two Espada, Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez and Tier Harribel would govern the Hollows, and they would only be fed with souls that are cast to Hueco Mundo by the Shinigami.

“I’ll give you a call again before we go over tomorrow. Just please, give her a heads up. Maybe she’ll be able to come up with a way to approach Orihime even before we arrive.”

After a brief goodbye, Rukia ends the call and slips her phone into her pocket — one that Ishida doesn’t realise the skirt comes with. The way the material flows, it looks like the phone has been swallowed up into a void.

“Is ten minutes enough to run me through all that has happened?” Ishida asks. “Otherwise, I think I’m only interested in how you lost Abarai to Arisawa.”

Rukia snorts. “Oh, please. There were no losses. In fact, I’m glad it turns out this way. I was getting quite tired of the way he keeps expecting something to happen between us. Renji ran into Tatsuki a few weeks ago and she invited him to have tea with her. Somehow, they started going out after that. I don’t know the details but they are officially dating now.”

“How does that work? He’s allowed to come to the World of the Living so frequently?”

“That’s between him and my brother, I guess,” she says with a shrug. “I don’t really care as long as he doesn’t get in the way of my job.”

Ishida thinks it’s interesting how Abarai doesn’t seem to bother that he and Arisawa are from two different worlds. He wishes Rukia wouldn’t care that much about logistics. But it’s because she cares fiercely about everything that Ishida is drawn to her. She considers every little detail before taking the next course of action, just to be sure it’s the right thing to do.

“So what’s with… you know…” he asks, more as a change of topic than for his curiosity.

Rukia huffs, turning around so her back is leaning against the banister. “Remember the lost soul _reiatsu_ I told you about?”

Ishida nods. Oh, he remembers, all right. It was the only thing that could take his mind off that dream of his (but not those lips of hers, unfortunately) over the weekend. “You’ve found the soul?”

“No. It moved from its ‘nesting’ place earlier this evening, first to Karakura Station, then to the park, and finally to Karakura High School before it vanished from the radar altogether. The way it disappear from one place and reappear at another, both Urahara and Kurotsuchi are deducing it may not be as harmless as it seemed when it first came up in the system. And now, it’s even more worrying because they can’t locate it anywhere in the World of the Living,” Rukia explains.

“Do you think it could’ve moved out of here?”

“They are positive it’s not in Soul Society. Not even in the Rukongai. They are trying not to contact Hueco Mundo unless they can confirm that the soul is indeed dangerous. It’s not worth it to disrupt the peace that’s been successfully achieved with the Espada over something we’re not even certain of.”

Ishida inclines his head in agreement. The Espada are suspicious and aggressive beings. It wouldn’t do to give them an opportunity to think they are accused of harbouring a stray soul that could be dangerous. “So what has this got to do with Arisawa and Inoue?”

“Well,” Rukia begins, clearing her throat. “It appears that the ‘nesting’ place was Orihime’s apartment all these while.”

“So you think she’s been hiding someone there?”

“We don’t know that yet, but we do think it’s possible that the soul has been loitering at her place without her knowledge. After all, she can’t sense the presence of a _reiatsu_ like she did before she lost her powers.”

“And Arisawa?”

“Renji has been tasked by Urahara and my brother to discuss with Tatsuki about getting Orihime to let her check out the apartment. We… I don’t know how she will take it if Karin and I pay her a visit out of the blue. I was going to talk to Tatsuki but,” she sighs. “ _Nii-sama_ wants to see if Renji can handle this professionally. He’s not too happy about Renji getting into a relationship but the idiot insists he would prove to _Nii-sama_ that this will not affect his job as a Vice-Captain. So my brother is taking this opportunity to test him. And because he is the first person to see her after our meeting, he has to do it tonight. If he fails to deliver, I will do it tomorrow. But that’s not going to make him look good in front of his Captain.”

Ishida chuckles, turning to face her as he leans an elbow on the banister. “What a complete waste of time. You know you won’t have a problem with Arisawa, right?”

“I know,” she smirks. “And Renji is already pissing in his pants thinking how this could be a bad turn for their new relationship. Dumb arse. He should learn to trust her more. Tatsuki is one of the most rational humans I know.”

Ishida pulls the cuff of his sleeve to check his watch. Two more minutes before countdown. He won’t be alone when the New Year comes, after all. But it’s not like anything else will change. We’re all just lugging our past with us as we enter the future every day, are we not?

“There’s nothing we can do but wait,” Rukia speaks up again, and Ishida almost forgets what they have been talking about before he turned up his wrist. “Until that _reiatsu_ shows up in the radar, we wouldn’t know where to look.”

The ticking of his watch seems deafening as the two of them falls into silence. Ishida wonders if his simple gesture of checking the time has made the sound more audible than before. Through the glass doors that surround the ballroom, he can see that the guests are getting ready to begin counting at the dance floor, the LED backdrop on the stage displaying the time for everyone to see.

_40 seconds…_

“Do you ever get the feeling that nothing is certain in life?” he asks.

Rukia blinks, looking up at him with those magnificent not-blue, not-purple eyes that pulls him into them. “Nothing is ever certain, Uryuu.”

_30 seconds…_

“Is that why we always worry, why we are always on our guard?”

“Probably… we don’t know what the future holds for us,” she replies, her words are clear against the hum of voices from the ballroom.

_20 seconds…_

Ishida risks a hand on her waist and gently turns her body to face him completely. He huffs a shaky breath of relief when she makes no objection against his bold move. “I know that you’d rather not entertain any unnecessary emotions,” he pauses for a swallow and hesitates before settling both of his hands on her back uncertainly — _nothing is ever certain, Uryuu_ — as she settles hers on his arms. “and you think that love, companionship, and friendship are troublesome. But…”

_10 seconds…_

“Would you take a chance on me?”

She doesn’t answer him. And he isn’t sure if she could hear his question over the loud chanting of the people. But when he leans down to capture her lips with his, he is met with no protest but her fingers travelling up towards the back of his head. He supposes that's as good an answer as any he could get. Ishida couldn't think of a better way to usher in the New Year than having their first kiss, wrapped in each other's arms, just him and Kuchiki Rukia on a balcony with the stars blinking down upon them.

Nothing may be certain in life but that also means there is nothing to lose when we take a chance on what we have.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Take a chance on me and listen to ‘Big plans’ by Why Don’t We.


	20. Chapter 20

 

“Where are you going?” Renji asks, snaking an arm around Tatsuki’s waist to pull her back into her bed.

“I need a shower,” she says, waving her hand around her body and rolling her eyes when Renji wiggles his eyebrows, a smug expression on his face. “I have _kendo_ club in half-an-hour.”

“Reschedule. I don’t know when I’ll be allowed here again.”

Tatsuki settles herself comfortably within the confines of his arms and burrows her face into his chest. “I can’t do that. This is not a medical emergency like what happened with Hime a few months ago.”

“I can come up with something,” the redhead offers with a shrug.

“Renji…”

“Tsuki…” he mimics her tone.

Tatsuki sighs. Her head is telling her to get out of bed or she’ll be late but her body is responding to Renji’s cuddle instead, even entangling their legs together. “Rukia’s in the club. She’ll be suspicious if I postpone the training.”

“I don’t care.” Renji pulls her closer, running his hand along her thigh.

“She’ll report this to your captain.”

The _fukutaichou_ huffs at that.

“Isn’t it your turn to patrol Hime’s neighbourhood?”

Renji shrugs. “Karin says she’ll do it this evening. She wants to get as much _shinigami_ work done before she starts her coaching job.”

Tatsuki nods in understanding. Karin is also another one whom she has recommended to the University. The younger Kurosaki begins teaching Health, Physical Education and Sports in two weeks. She has been appointed as the assistant to the current coach of their women’s football club, who will be retiring after the All Japan University Football Tournament at the end of the year. The one-year experience with the club will prepare Karin to take over in 2015. Needless to say, the girl is aesthetic about this opportunity.

“I’m not too comfortable about her patrolling alone, though. We do not know what exactly this lost soul is capable of,” Tatsuki admits, sitting up from her tangled position to lean on the headboard.

“Rukia and I have been scouting around for two weeks. There hasn’t been a single activity. Besides, I’m sure Karin will immediately alert us if she finds something amiss,” Renji says as he gets up and wraps an arm around his lover’s shoulders.

Tatsuki gives him a look of uncertainty. After speaking to Orihime that first morning of the New Year, she has left the Kurosaki house with a feeling of relief that the lost soul has not caused any harm to her best friend but a deep concern for her mental state, which has supposedly been improving since she was discharged from the centre. Orihime has assured her that there were no weird occurrence or new faces around her apartment. However, the way she refuses Soul Society’s protection is worrying Tatsuki a great deal.

 _“I would know if there were anything different, Tatsuki-_ chan _. I go there every day and spend quite a few hours baking and cleaning up the place before I go home. Why do you ask?”_

 _Tatsuki sighs. The_ shinigami _has made it clear that she has to let Orihime know about the lost soul being found_ within _the premise of her apartment. Even though Tatsuki does not think it is good idea, she tells her, anyway. “Soul Society’s system found the_ reiatsu _of a wandering soul in your apartment. They want to know if you felt anything odd recently… some sort of spiritual pressure, maybe? They thought you could help them locate it.”_

 _“But Tatsuki-_ chan _, I can’t feel spiritual pressure anymore. How am I supposed to know if there was something lingering in my apartment?” As Orihime takes a sip of her tea, the sounds of footsteps running down the stairs and into the kitchen is heard._

 _“_ Okaa-san _! You’re awake! And you’re here too, Tatsuki-_ obachan _!” exclaims the little Kazui, still dressed in his pyjamas._

_Tatsuki observes as he climbs onto his mother’s lap, something that Orihime should be very familiar with but instead, the strawberry blonde only stiffens under the weight of her son. She hesitates before brushing his hair with her fingers, being very careful as if afraid she would shatter him._

_“How long has this soul been around my apartment, did they say?” Orihime asks, obviously trying to divert the attention away from her awkwardness._

_“About a month or so,” Tatsuki replies, while watching the boy play with the teacup and saucer before them._

_“It would’ve done something to me by now if its intention was to harm me, don’t you think so, Tatsuki-_ chan _?”_

 _The_ kendoka _inclines her head. “I suppose. Anyway, just be careful, all right? Let us know immediately if you hear or see anything suspicious. In the meantime, some_ shinigami _are assigned to patrol your area until the soul appears on their radar again.”_

 _At that, Orihime pauses her gesture on her son’s head and looks up at Tatsuki. “Who are these_ shinigami _?”_

_Tatsuki almost does not catch her question as Orihime’s voice is low and quiet. She even sounds… threatened? “Karin, Renji, and Rukia, at the moment.”_

_“Isn’t that violating my privacy?”_

_“Hime, this soul could be dangerous. They are only looking out for you.”_

_“I’m not comfortable with spirits that I can’t see snooping around in my apartment. Please tell them I will inform them if I find something out of place. Then, they can come and investigate.”_

_“When something happens, it may be too late for them to do anything, Hime,” Tatsuki insists. “For the sake of your safety, they have to keep watch at your apartment_ before _that.”_

 _“Please, Tatsuki-_ chan _. You know how that part of my life has affected me. It’s also affecting my relationship with Ichigo and Kazui. I’ve already accepted that my brother is long gone and all these while the voices I hear are only in my head. I am getting better now. Please, please, don’t let them ruin this for me,” Orihime pleads, her knuckles white from clenching her fists on the table._

_Kazui turns around slowly to take a glance at his mother, who seems to be staring hard at her best friend across the breakfast table. Without saying a word, he removes himself from his mother’s lap and disappears up the stairs._

_Tatsuki swallows the lump in her throat as she feels so sorry for the boy. He shouldn’t have been allowed to see this. What would Ichigo say?_

_“Hime…” She reaches a hand to close over Orihime’s fist._

_“Please, Tatsuki-_ chan _. I just want our family to live a normal life right now, away from the spirit world. My apartment is the only place where I can be who I want to be. Knowing they are there will only take that away from me, even if I can’t see them. I promise I will call somebody if something goes wrong. But at the moment, everything is fine and that’s my sanctuary. I’d like to keep it that way.”_

_“What if it’s just Renji? He’ll just do a stake-out in the evenings to make sure your place is safe. You won’t even know he is there because he will not bother you in any way,” Tatsuki offers._

_Orihime shakes her head, taking her hands away from the table and placing them in her lap. “No. He may be your boyfriend, Tatsuki-_ chan _, but he is still from the spirit world.”_

_“And Karin?” Tatsuki tries. She can’t be too averse to her own sister-in-law trying to protect her, right?_

_“Karin-_ chan _is a_ shinigami _, is she not?” Orihime murmurs. “And she has never liked me being her sister-in-law.”_

_As inaudible as it is, that statement takes Tatsuki by surprise. Karin has never mentioned how she feels about Orihime, neither has she ever shown any signs of animosity towards her. Tatsuki only remembers how Karin was always concerned about Kazui whenever Orihime gets a meltdown. “But…”_

_“And certainly not Kuchiki Rukia.”_

_Tatsuki flinches at the finality in Orihime’s tone of voice. She realises now, how deeply her best friend detests the_ shinigami _._

“Do you think it’s a good idea that you’re all sneaking up on her like this?” Tatsuki asks the redhead beside her who is twirling her short spikes between his fingers.

“You were the one who suggested this, Tsuki,” he tells her.

There is not a drip of accusation in his reply but Tatsuki feels it all the same. She feels guilty for going behind her best friend’s back and giving Soul Society the ‘consent’ to send their _shinigami_ to hang out at Orihime’s apartment in their soul forms.

When they met up at Urahara’s after she left the Kurosaki household, Tatsuki knew that keeping her best friend safe would require a huge betrayal on her part. And Orihime isn’t the only one she’s betraying. Tatsuki is pretty sure telling Ichigo about this will not help the situation, knowing what a hotheaded, impulsive idiot that guy can be when it comes to anything involving Soul Society and the spirit world. Seeing as she could not fulfill Orihime’s request to keep the _shinigami_ from watching over her apartment, the least Tatsuki could do is let the family lead a normal life.

 _“Just do it,”_ Tatsuki remembers telling the _shinigami_ gathered there with a sigh and continues without looking Rukia in the eye. _“Orihime is not in the right frame of mind to decide now. But her safety outweighs her grudges. As long as she doesn’t know you’re there.”_

The truth is, she has always had a little hope for Orihime to eventually be _okay_ with Rukia. But she knows that Orihime will always see Rukia as a threat; and Tatsuki supposes she has every right to feel threatened because it is obvious that Ichigo will never look at her the way he used to look at his former partner. How could he? They both shared a soul. If it weren’t for Kazui, even if nothing happened between the two, Rukia would still remain the one who dried his rain. Their bond will never cease, whether or not he possesses his _shinigami_ powers.

“You know you’re doing the right thing keeping this from them, right?” Renji speaks up, breaking the silence.

“Am I?” Tatsuki huffs. “I’m betraying two of my oldest friends.”

“And how do you think Karin feels?”

That’s right. Karin. She hasn’t said anything since they decided to go ahead with the stake-out. But that’s how she is when it concerns her family. As far as Tatsuki knows, Karin doesn’t talk to outsiders about her personal problems.

“She’s being very professional about this,” Renji continues. “But I can see that she’s also very careful about not taking sides. She’s only doing this because it is her duty as a _shinigami-daiko_ to keep Karakura safe. If she had a choice, I don’t think she would take up this mission.”

“Orihime says Karin doesn’t like her being her sister-in-law. I don’t think that’s true. It’s in the Kurosaki blood to care for their family. Of course, she didn’t expect Ichigo to marry Orihime but she eventually accepted her as family. Karin may act like a child, sometimes, but she isn’t petty.”

“She’s pretty close to Rukia, though,” Renji remarks.

“I’m not surprised. Rukia was like a big sister to the twins when they were younger. And speaking of Rukia,” Tatsuki pauses, removing herself from Renji and getting out of her bed. “I’m going to be late for _kendo_. Just… stick around if you want to. But I still think you should accompany Karin at the apartment tonight.”

Kami _… what’s the point of opening the bar on Monday?_ Rukia grumbles mentally as she wipes the same spot on the counter for the umpteenth time in the past hour. It’s nearly 9.30 pm and Nichibotsu has been open for two hours but not a soul has stepped through that door except for Rio, the new guy. He came in late because of a short thunderstorm on his way to the bar. Rukia supposes the storm is to be blamed for why they are totally void of customers tonight.

* * *

She’s been hoping for a busy night to get her mind off certain things that have been happening lately; not that they are unpleasant to think about. She just doesn’t want to be one of those people...

_“Would you take a chance on me?”_

_Despite knowing what would happen next, Rukia still finds herself stunned by the touch of Uryuu’s lips on hers. It takes her all of two seconds to respond to his kiss, a slow motion at first — both of them getting used to the feeling of each other’s lips, tasting and breathing in each other’s scent, before it deepens into something they both realise they want more of._

_Uryuu has an arm wrapped around her waist, pulling her tight against his chest, while his other hand cups the nape of her neck, his thumb stroking the hollow of her throat._

_She reaches her hands up towards his collar instinctively to pull him closer to her but soon drops them to splay her fingers over his broad chest. He hums at her gesture and she feels the tremor under her palms._

_When Uryuu finally breaks the kiss, they are both panting for air as they lean their foreheads together. Behind them, the crowd inside the hall are cheering and wishing one another while the fireworks crackle over their heads. The two of them pay no mind to all the noise; focusing instead on each other. Uryuu runs his thumb along her puckered lips and she wonders what he is thinking of when his eyes stare at them a little too long before flickering up to her violet orbs._

_“Uryuu…” she sighs, grasping his hand and dropping a kiss on the tip of his fingers before interlacing them with her own. “I do want to take that chance. I can’t deny that I think about us sometimes, and what we could become.”_

_His Adam’s Apple visibly bobs as he swallows and Rukia feels her guilt bubbling up her throat. “But?”_

_“I’m only here for two years. Or until Karin is independent enough. I can’t give you anything that will last.”_

_“Doesn’t matter to me. I’ll take what we’re given,” he says, tightening their fingers._

_“That’s not fair on you.”_

_“It’ll be more than I could ever wish for, Rukia. I was planning on living the rest of my life alone, remember?”_

_“But you deserve so much more than that. You deserve someone who could grow old and spend every moment of your life with you.”_

_“I can’t think of anyone at the moment. At least not one I am in love with.”_

_“Uryuu…”_

_“I am in love with you, Rukia,” he repeats, adding more emphasis on the words. “I don’t know how it happened but it did. I’ve tried ignoring it, knowing you do not want to be tied to someone from the World of the Living. But it’s useless because I’m very sure this feeling is only going to grow deeper every day. I don’t know if you realise that but it’s difficult not to fall for someone like you. Think about Abarai, and Kurosaki, and even Hitsugaya. I don’t want to miss the chance like they did. Even if it’s only for two years, I’ll take it.”_

_Rukia feels her cheeks warm at what he has said. Placing both her hands back on his chest, she averts her eyes to the buttons on his shirt. “Hitsugaya didn’t actually miss the chance, you know? I was already interested in someone else at that time.”_

_“Yeah, but he had known you before you met Kurosaki…”_

_“What makes you think he would’ve been interested in a non-seated officer like me? He’s the prodigy_ shinigami _, Captain of the 10th Division,” Rukia argues._

_Uryuu scoffs. “And you’re Kuchiki Rukia. It’s impossible not to fall for you. But timing is everything. He got to you at the wrong time.”_

_“And you think your timing is right?” Rukia quirks a brow at him, wrapping her arms around his torso underneath his coat._

_“You tell me,” he reiterates the question towards her._

_Rukia catches her lower lip between her teeth as she looks up at him — an unconscious act out of nervousness for the step she is about to_ allow _herself to take for the first time in her life. She gives him her answer in the form of a nod and a tilt of her lips._

_Uryuu smiles back at her, the look of elation on his face as if he has won the lottery, before capturing her lips again for a kiss that is more certain and intimate than the one before._

Yeah, she doesn’t want to be one of those people who daydreams. But she can’t help it! Her thoughts drift back to Uryuu every time she has nothing to do.

When they got home after the gala, Uryuu ‘dropped her off’ at her door and they shared a short kiss again before going into their own rooms. It was her first experience being on a date, as unplanned as it may have been, and it was amazing.

Rukia knew it was going to happen sooner or later… Uryuu’s confession, that is. He was getting so obvious it was difficult for her to pretend not to know. But she definitely did not expect him to confess over New Year’s Eve, especially after their discussion about the lost soul. The subject change was almost like the flick of a switch.

Change.

On the surface, nothing really changed in their relationship. Their busy schedules in the past two weeks limit them to see each other only between classes and workshifts. However, Rukia realises that she and Uryuu have always been close and comfortable with each other. The only thing that was missing before was the more intimate displays of affection, which they now show a little boldly through stolen kisses, gentle touches, and especially on Uryuu’s part…

 _Rukia is extremely late for her 8.00 am class. Cursing at her phone’s alarm which did not go off this morning (or it did but she was too tired to hear it in her sleep), she slings her backpack over her shoulder and tucks the two rolls of_ mahjong _paper patterns under her arms while slipping her feet clumsily into her Mary Jane shoes. Another string of curses is uttered at herself for leaving her Chucks in Uryuu’s car. She can’t run fast enough to the train station in her Mary Janes!_

_A glance at the clock above the flat screen TV tells her she will not make it in time for the 7.45 am train. With a groan, she yanks the front door open and rushes out only to crash into Uryuu who has just arrived home from his hospital shift._

_“Whoa…” Grabbing her elbows, he watches as the_ mahjong _papers slip out of her hold onto the floor and states the obvious, “You’re late today.”_

_“I know, I know… and I’m missing my train...” she grumbles, trying to pick up the papers but her backpack slides down her right shoulder, eliciting more swear words from her mouth, which he has probably never heard before._

_Uryuu chuckles as he bends down to help her collect her things. “C’mon, I’ll drop you off since I’m already home,” he says, grasping her smaller hand in his to take her to his car._

_Any protest Rukia has is stuck in her throat as she observes how easy it is for their fingers to intertwine as they walk down to his car. It isn’t the first time they hold hands but she wonders how she has never noticed that their relationship has progressed long before he confessed his feelings for her that New Year’s Eve… maybe even before he realised it himself._

_When they arrive at the front gate of the university — ten minutes to eight, Uryuu grabs her rolls of paper from the backseat of the car and hands them to her, leaning in to give her a quick kiss on her cheek. “Have fun,” he says — and Rukia is surprised she feels herself melting at the sound of his voice so close to her ear — with a smirk. “Let me know if you need me to give you a lift to work later. I’m on night shift again.”_

_“Thanks, Uryuu…” The words come out… small? Like she is actually shy around him. Why is she shy around Ishida Uryuu? Before she knows it, Rukia finds her free hand tugging the collar of his shirt as she kisses him full on the mouth._

_Uryuu, it seems, is quick to dismiss his surprise at her sudden gesture. In response, he deepens the kiss, snaking an arm around her waist to pull her closer._

_Rukia wonders if she is ever going to get tired of those lips of his. Who would have thought that they’d end up together after so many years of knowing each other._

Thinking back on that moment in the car, Rukia can still remember how the taste of his minty breath lingered with her the rest of the day. It was such a giddy feeling. _Is this what it feels like to be in love?_

It wasn’t like that with Ichigo. She knew she loved him. She knew she would give up everything for him including her own soul. But they never had the chance to show their feelings for each other through affections of any kind. For the most part, they had kept it all to themselves… until it was too late for them to do anything about it. Rukia supposes… timing _is_ everything. If not for the fact that she was posted back to Karakura and living with Uryuu, nothing would’ve ever happened between them. _A Quincy and a Shinigami?_

And knowing Rukia’s history with all the men who have lost their chances with her, Uryuu makes sure he takes his before he ends up like them.

“Thinking about your boyfriend?”

Rukia gasps as she is snapped back into the present by Rio. “What?”

The other bartender laughs, handing her a glass of Matcha Hai. “You know, it took awhile for me to recall where I’ve seen him before.”

“You’ve met Uryuu before you worked here?” Rukia asks, surprising herself that she immediately assumes Rio is referring to Uryuu when he mentions her ‘boyfriend’.

“Dr Ishida, right?”

“Yes…”

“He was a student doctor when I met him five years ago,” Rio recalls. “And he was the one who saved my little brother from drowning.”

Rukia’s eyes widen at that. “Really?”

“Yeah, I got a better look at him the last time he picked you up. I’m positive it’s him, although I remember him being a lanky dude with longer hair at that time.”

“How did he…”

“My brother and I had gone for a swim at the river that day. It was about to rain and the wind was so strong that a branch from one of the trees broke and hit my brother in the head just as we were getting out of the water. I only heard him yelp. When I turned around, I couldn’t see him anymore. Panicked, I ran along the river bank, screaming his name and trying to see where he had gotten swept to.”

“ _Kami_ … that must’ve been so terrifying!”

“It was. I think it was the first time I cried since I was a kid,” Rio laughs, a shade of pink tinting his cheeks. “But Dr Ishida must’ve seen my brother fall into the river. Just when I thought I had lost him, I saw this tall, skinny guy wading out of the water with my brother over his shoulder. He also performed emergency CPR on him before calling the ambulance. The guy saved my brother’s life even before he was a doctor.”

 _He saved the world even before he was a student doctor, actually,_ Rukia corrects mentally. Pride bubbles up within her for her Quincy.

“Anyway, he introduced himself as Ishida when I asked for his name to thank him and left only after he saw that my brother was inside the ambulance, getting temporary treatment from the medical staff.”

“Wow… he never said anything about saving someone,” Rukia mutters, still in awe. Then again, Uryuu has never been the bragging type.

“I’d like to properly thank him over dinner, actually,” Rio continues. “Maybe when my brother comes back from his student exchange programme in Singapore. He’s only 16 but he was accepted into Kyoto University two years ago.”

“A child genius,” Rukia comments.

Rio nods. “Yeah… but he wouldn’t have been anything if Dr Ishida hadn’t saved him that day.”

* * *

“Were they here again last night?”

“Only the woman captain.”

“Kuchiki Rukia,” Inoue mutters quietly.

Ulquiorra watches the blonde woman as she tidies up the kitchen. It isn’t the first time she spits the name of the _shinigami_ with disdain. “Do you want me to do something about her?”

Inoue’s hands pause at what she is doing but she does not turn around to look at him.

At her silence, he remarks, “You seem to be very affected by her.”

“It’s fine, Ulquiorra- _kun_.”

“It’s not fine if she upsets you.”

Inoue sighs, getting back to her chores. “I’m only upset because they are investigating my apartment against my wish.”

“You don’t want them to investigate because you hate the Soul Reapers. And you hate the Soul Reapers because of her,” the former Espada concludes.

“That’s…”

“You can’t lie to me, Woman,” he cuts her off. “You taught me about the heart. From what I can see, your heart longs for the one whose heart belongs to Kuchiki Rukia.”

“And what can you do about that?” she demands through gritted teeth as she glares at him over her shoulder. “I’ve tried for so many years to win him over. Even after we’re married, he still doesn’t love me the way I want him to.”

“I can eliminate her,” Ulquiorra offers.

“That’s not going to make any difference.”

“You will be happier.”

“Will I?” Inoue turns around to face him, her hands planted on her wide hips.

“Why not? One less person who upsets you. And I will continue to rid you of these people so you will be happier.”

“Ulquiorra- _kun_ …” she sighs. As tempting as it sounds, a big part of her knows that’s not the right thing to do. The sane part of her, that is.

“Think about it,” he insists, getting up from his seat at the kitchen counter to remove the shirt he has been wearing the entire day and tossing it into the washing machine.

Inoue does not know where he disappears to most of the time. Ever since he discovers that he can shift from one place to another without getting detected, at his will wherever he likes, he has been spending a lot of time outside her apartment. But he makes sure to return to see her even for a half-an-hour before she goes home every evening.

She does not know why he is here… why he has come back to life. Apparently, he doesn’t have any idea either. She notices that in the short time since he has stayed in her apartment, he has become more human every day. The only thing he lacks is he understanding of what’s right and wrong. He still thinks like a Hollow. Everything is about fighting to survive or vengeance and ‘eliminating the enemy’. It’s frustrating her on one hand because she feels she has to be the one to guide him with all this business of being human. But whenever she sees a little progress in him, she feels a sense of pride… an accomplishment of sorts for having done something for someone despite her medical condition.

And then, it makes her think of all the grief she has caused Ichigo and Kazui. They are the ones she should be doing great things for. They are her family. And yet, she is avoiding them most of her days, trying to find something else to cope with her illness. She is ashamed to say that being with Ulquiorra actually helps her feel better about herself. All fucked up, that’s what her life is.

“I should go,” she tells him as she puts away all her baking utensils and the cleaning rags. “Let me know if they do more than look around. And make sure they don’t see you.”

“They won’t. I always shift when I feel their presence.”

“You’re certain they can’t feel yours?” she asks, just like she always does.

“Not when my spiritual pressure is masked,” is his reply, as always.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, Ulquiorra- _kun_.”

“Orihime…”

She is surprised he is using her name for the first time. And even more surprised that he has grasped her elbow. Ulquiorra has never touched her before. Another change towards being human, she supposes. “Yes?”

“You should not go back to him if his heart is always with her,” he says, raising a hand to her face and stroking her cheek with his thumb.

Before she could say anything, he has disappeared from her sight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m just going to post this portion up today. Not really edited, though, and I apologise for that. I’ve already have half of the next chapter written. It should be up tomorrow or the day after.


	21. Chapter 21

****_Tamago sashimi_. Checked.

 _Dango_. Checked.

 _Sunomono_. Checked.

 _Now, into the_ bento _you go_ , Ishida mumbles to himself as he places all the food carefully into a box — that limited edition Chappy _bento_ box he went everywhere to look for. It isn’t one of those tacky, childish-looking lunch boxes kids carry to school. This one is three-tiered and made of lacquered wood with the Chappy icon carved into right corner of the bottom tray. Gold snowflakes glitter all over the surface, making them look almost like they are falling from an invisible sky.

Once he has stacked up all the trays, Ishida puts the lid on — which comes with a compartment for a set of wooden chopsticks and spoon — over the top tray and ties a pearl-white silk ribbon around the box, a big bow at the top to complete his gift for the birthday girl… who’s probably still asleep from patrolling on her own last night.

He tucks a small card under the bow and carries the _bento_ to Rukia’s room, carefully slipping inside so he wouldn’t wake her up, and places it on her bedside table before he leaves for his own room. Ishida knows her alarm will go off in 20 minutes as she has morning classes today. As much as he wants to spend the entire day with her, he can’t. But the good news is that it’s Tuesday and she doesn’t have to work tonight.

Ishida has taken leave from work so he could get a full day of rest after his shift and he’ll wake up just in time to prepare for their dinner and movie date in the evening.

* * *

‘Happy birthday to The Dragon’s Queen. Enjoy your breakfast.’

Rukia smiles as she reads the card again. Uryuu must’ve made the egg _sashimi_ , cucumber salad, and rice dumplings when he came home from work at 6.00 this morning. _Does he always have to be the sweetest guy on earth? I certainly don’t deserve him._

“That’s some fancy lunchbox you’ve got there,” Tatsuki remarks over her shoulder, eliciting a deep blush from the petite woman.

“Happy birthday, Rukia- _nee_ !” Karin exclaims, hugging her from the back. “Let me guess. Your _dragon_ made that for you.”

“Ooh… I didn’t know it was your birthday. Happy birthday, Rukia!” Tatsuki chuckles as she snatches the card from the poor _shinigami_ who hasn’t even had the chance to say anything. “Aww… how sweet! He calls you his queen! Didn’t know Ishida Uryuu could be such a romantic?”

Rukia glares at the two giggling girls who have taken their seats in front of her. “Give it back, Tatsuki.”

“I wasn’t going to keep it, Rukia,” Tatsuki scoffs, rolling her eyes as she returns the card. “I’m not The Dragon’s Queen.”

“Ha. Ha. Now can I eat in peace?” she snaps, slipping the card into her purse. Just her luck the two of them are here at the canteen while she decides to take a quick break before her next class. “What are _you_ doing here, anyway? You’re only starting in February, aren’t you?”

Karin shrugs. “I have nothing to do. My roommates are so noisy back at the apartment. So I came here with Chad to see if I could bother one of you.”

“I have class in 15 minutes,” Rukia tells her, trying not to moan at the taste of the _tamago_. They will never let her live it down if they know how much she’s enjoying her Dragon’s gift. “And you? You’re not coaching in the morning, are you?”

Tatsuki mimics Karin’s shrug. “I wanted to bother you on your birthday.”

“Oh, please. You didn’t even know it was my birthday.”

“I woke up this morning, knowing it would be a special day,” Tatsuki declares.

“Lies…”

The _kendoka_ sighs, “You’re right, Karin. She’s too sharp for us.”

“Oh well… better get this out of the way. Sorry we have to ruin your birthday,” Karin says apologetically.

Rukia stops eating and looks up at the girls. “What is it?”

Karin takes a quick glance at Tatsuki before she begins, “I think there’s something going on at Orihime’s apartment.”

“Did you see something last night?”

Karin nods, but it takes a while before she speaks again, “I saw men’s clothings hanging in her laundry room.”

Apparently, Karin has already told Tatsuki about this as they are both waiting for Rukia’s reaction.

“Maybe they are her brother’s…”

“Why would she wash her brother’s clothes? She just told me she knows her brother is long gone and he was just a voice inside her heard,” Tatsuki says.

“Maybe she found them somewhere while she’s decluttering and is having them washed before she gives them away?”

“Really?” Karin snorts. “Like two polo shirts, a pair of jeans, and a pair of underwear? Would you give away someone’s used underwear?”

Rukia furrows her brows as her eyes move from one girl to the other, trying to guess what they think is going on.

“I think she’s cheating on my brother,” Karin asserts.

“Karin…”

“Why else would she have men’s clothings in her apartment? Didn’t you or Renji notice that when you were in her apartment?”

“We were looking for a soul that could potentially harm her, Karin,” Rukia huffs before she turns to Tatsuki. “Don’t you have anything to say about this? She’s accusing your best friend of infidelity.”

Tatsuki shrugs again. “Honestly, I don’t really know what Hime is capable of doing these days.”

“See?” Karin interrupts, getting a disapproving glare from her captain.

“She has changed so much, I don’t even know her anymore,” Tatsuki continues. “I’d like to think that she loves Ichigo too much to do anything against him, but she’s just… different now. And I can’t talk to her like I used to because she shuts me out most of the time.”

“It’s because of me, isn’t it?” Rukia asks quietly. “Because we see each other a lot. You’re my coach, we hang out, and she probably feels she’s losing another person to me.”

“Oh, come off it, Rukia- _nee_ . Not everything wrong with Orihime is your fault. Her insecurities are her own problem. You’ve moved on. You don’t even talk to Ichi- _nii_ anymore.”

“I’m sorry, Tatsuki.”

Tatsuki shakes her head. “No. Karin is right. This has nothing to do with you, Rukia. It’s her illness that has changed her. But Karin, let’s not jump to conclusion, all right? It’s bad enough that we’re snooping around her apartment. Maybe I’ll find a way to draw it out of her when I see her next.”

“That’s right. Who knows what her illness is making her do this time? Maybe she is still clinging on to her brother and washing his clothes daily gives her the feeling that he is always with her,” Rukia suggests.

Karin crosses her arms over her chest with a shrug. “Maybe you’re both right. But I can’t just keep quiet, knowing something is going on there and my brother is oblivious to this whole thing.”

Rukia huffs an agitated breath. “And this is why we didn’t want you to do the stake out in the first place, Karin. I’m ordering you to stay away for the moment.”

“You can’t…”

“I can because I am your superior.”

“You’re pulling that…”

“Yes, I am,” Rukia snaps before she softens her expression. “Karin, I know you care about your brother. We all do. But in this case, you’re a _shinigami-daiko_ first, before you are his sister. We have to be professional about this. Until we actually catch her being with another man… in a way that suggests she really is fooling around behind your brother’s back, we can’t assume that’s what she is doing.”

“So what now…” Karin mumbles. “I’m back to patrolling the town?”

“Yes. And performing _konso_. That’s a huge responsibility. You might even find the lost soul while you’re at it… you’d never know,” Rukia tries to console her. “I promise Renji and I will let you know if something comes up in the apartment. By then, we will need all the enforcements we can get, probably even from Soul Society.”

“They should really send Toushiro here. Haven’t played football with him in ages,” Karin mentions offhandedly and quickly adds before Rukia says anything. “I know what happened between the two of you. Poor guy.”

“What happened? Tell me,” Tatsuki whines uncharacteristically.

“Toushiro asked Rukia- _nee_ out but she outright rejected him,” Karin immediately replies with a smirk.

“Whoa…” Tatsuki chuckles. “You must be the hottest female _shinigami_ ever exists.”

“Oh shut up,” Rukia chides, rolling her eyes at her coach. “Why did he even tell you about that?”

“Because…” Karin drawls, not looking at either of them. “He asked _me_ out not long after that. And I said I only saw him as a friend. And he complained about how anyone could be rejected twice in a year. That’s when I bugged him into telling me who it was that rejected him first.”

Rukia groans, feeling embarrassed for the young captain. “Poor guy indeed. Well, like what Uryuu said, ‘timing is everything’.”

“Ooh… and Ishida Uryuu seems to have gotten his timing right this time around,” Tatsuki teases, wiggling her eyebrows at Rukia. Even Karin begins to relax and laugh at the expense of her captain’s flustered expression.

“Speaking of timing!” Rukia growls, gathering her _bento_ — which still contains food she hasn’t managed to finish, thanks to these two annoying women — and getting up to leave the table. “I am going to be late for my next class. See you around, wicked ladies.”

Tatsuki snickers, “Have fun on your birthday, Rukia. Please don’t forget to fill us in on what else the Dragon has in store for his Queen.”

“Urgh! Tatsuki!” Rukia snarls but she bashfully calms down when she remembers Uryuu’s earlier text about their date this evening. “Oh, can you tell Renji I need him to go to Orihime’s apartment later? Uryuu has something err… planned out for tonight.”

The two girls let out loud hoots after her but Rukia is already halfway out the canteen, trying to conceal the redness on her cheeks. _Really annoying women. But I suppose that’s what friends do. So glad Matsumoto-_ fukutaichou _isn’t here in the World of the Living. I’d never hear the end of it._

* * *

After fetching Kazui from kindergarten, Ichigo takes him to the Karakura Mall for a walk while getting some of the things on Yuzu’s shopping list. Father and son are strolling through the outlets, hand-in-hand and sharing an ice-cream cone when Ichigo stops outside a bright pink store that sells an incessant amount of bunny merchandise. Not just any bunny… that annoying bunny called Chappy.

“ _Otou-san_ , are you getting me a girl’s toy?” Kazui asks, furrowing his brows at all the long-eared products in the store.

Ichigo chuckles, “Don’t you like bunnies?”

“No,” the boy says, shaking his head. “I like bears. But I think I’ve seen Yuzu- _obachan_ using some of these things.”

“Yeah, she likes Chappy the Rabbit. Quite obsessed with it when she was much younger.”

“I’ll probably buy this for my girlfriend next time if she likes them, too. Girls like to receive cute gifts.”

Ichigo crouches down to his son’s level to clean his cheek off a smudge of ice-cream. “And how would you know that?”

“Hana tells me her big sister likes it when her boyfriend gives her cute things,” Kazui explains, trying to sound all grown-up.

“A little too early for you to learn this trick, Kazui, don’t you think so?”

“Hana’s birthday was today and I didn’t get her anything,” Kazui pouts.

“You want to get something from this store for her?” Ichigo asks, gesturing to the store as he stands up and tosses the used wet wipes into the bin.

“Can I?” the boy gasps, an excited grin on his face.

Ichigo shrugs. “Sure. Why not?”

Walking into the store, he is struck by a feeling of _deja vu_ … a certain memory of him rushing into a similar store before closing time because the Midget wanted to buy the last Chappy lunchbox for Yuzu years ago. He pushes the thought aside and watches as his son browses around the store for something nice to give to his classmate. The boy is quick to choose a bunny tag. He seems to know immediately that Hana will like it.

“Hana can hang this on her backpack so everyone will know it’s hers. There’s a girl in another class who has the same bag as her,” Kazui tells his father as he hands him the tag.

“Good choice, Kazui.”

Ichigo requests the store owner to have it wrapped for them. The lady gives him a small gift card so he could write the birthday message while she gets on with her task.

“What do you want to say to her, Kazui?” Ichigo asks, a pen in his hand over the card.

“Happy birthday, Hana. From Kurosaki Kazui. 14 January,” he dictates for his father.

Upon hearing the date, Ichigo’s writing ceases. _14 January. It’s Rukia’s birthday today,_ he reminds himself mentally. What are the odds of getting a Chappy merchandise for someone who shares the same birthday as the woman who was crazy about that bunny?

Ichigo leaves the store with an excited son at his side and a head full of memories about the last person he should be thinking of. He wonders how she is spending her birthday here in the World of the Living and if Ishida is celebrating it with her… or if he even knows what day it is. Rukia isn’t one to broadcast about herself.

The former _shinigami_ reaches home only to realise that he has forgotten all about Yuzu’s shopping list. He sighs and decides to go out again later when Orihime or Yuzu comes home so he doesn’t have to take Kazui with him.

* * *

_“I’m parked next to the fountain. Take your time.’_

Rukia pockets her phone after reading Uryuu’s text and walks quickly towards the main entrance of the university, avoiding Tatsuki’s knowing smirk on her way out. The _shinigami_ shakes her head at the thought of how her coach has been giving her that same teasing look every time they ran into each other.

When she reaches the fountain, the first thing she sees is a tall figure leaning against a white car. Uryuu is dressed in jeans, a white button down shirt with its sleeves rolled up to his elbows, a light blue knitted vest over it, and a blue-ish grey pair of loafers to complete the ensemble. The moment he sees her, he opens the boot of his car and helps her load all her things into that supremely organised space.

“You’re early today,” Rukia remarks as they both get into their seats.

“Happy birthday,” he says instead, giving her a peck on the cheek. “Thought I’d get you home earlier so you could change before we head out to the cinema.”

“Thanks for breakfast, Dragon. And that Chappy _bento_ box. Where did you find it?” she asks, her face beaming with appreciation.

Putting the car into drive, Uryuu snorts, “Not going to tell you, Shinigami. Did you like the food, though?”

“Loved it. You’re doing all the cooking from now on.”

“Hah! You wish…”

Rukia rolls her eyes before sneaking a peek at the man next to her. Great cook, great sense of fashion, extremely kind and thoughtful, brimming with intelligence, passionate about saving people’s lives… it’s unfair how one man is packaged so perfectly.

 _“Nerd turned hot stuff, that’s what Ishida is, according to Kunieda when she ran into him at the hospital a few weeks ago,”_ Rukia recalls Tatsuki telling her. _“She’ll probably tear her heart out if she knows you’re dating him.”_

The word ‘dating’ still sounds peculiar to her, where she and Uryuu are concerned. She can’t believe they are actually going out. She was so determined, at first, to stick to what she was sent to the World of the Living for. But being with Uryuu makes her want to try new things — human things. And dating happens to be one of them.

* * *

Kurosaki Ichigo. Former _shinigami-daiko_. Saviour of the world who defeated the Quincy King, according to Inoue Orihime. Is this really the same man? Wasn’t his hair much fuller and more vibrant? Didn’t he use to have a very determined look on his face when he fought at Hueco Mundo all those years ago?

Two weeks of observing the family — if Ulquiorra could call them that — tells him that there is hardly any interaction between the Woman and her so-called husband. In fact, most of the time, they walk by each other without a single word when she arrives home. Kurosaki would usually be ready to head out somewhere by then.

This evening is no different from the rest. Ulquiorra watches from his place at the corner of the street as the orange-haired man makes his payment at the cashier and walks out of the mini mart with his shopping. As usual, he has followed Orihime home from the apartment and when he saw Kurosaki coming out from the clinic moments later, Ulquiorra decided to see where he could get a chance to speak to him without being spotted. He wants Kurosaki to let go of Orihime because he knows the Woman will not leave the household no matter how unhappy she is about her life living with the family.

As Kurosaki is about to walk by him, Ulquiorra steps out to make his move towards the man… only to be roughly pulled from behind and slammed into a nearby wall, his arms twisted behind his back.

“Urgh…” he groans in pain as he feels his cheekbone crushed against the concrete under the weight his assailant is pushing against him.

“Who are you and what do you want with the Kurosakis?” comes a low, steady voice in his ear.

Ulquiorra grunts as he struggles to free himself from the man’s grip but he refuses to answer his questions.

“Speak up or lose your arms,” his attacker threatens, pushing Ulquiorra’s arms higher up his back and causing him to cry out in pain.

The former Espada curses at himself for being weak in this human body. Glaring over his shoulder at the man, he can only see a glimpse of long, black hair and a pale complexion.

Not getting anything out of him again, the man grabs Ulquiorra’s hair and slams his head into the wall, eliciting a groan as blood trickles down his temple. “Answer me.” His voice remains calm but it is laced with menacing authority.

Ulquiorra is close to giving in when they hear a shuffle of feet coming towards them and he looks up to see a head of orange staring at them in shock.

“Byakuya?”

* * *

_“Kurosaki.”_

_“What are you…” Ichigo is about to ask when he notices the man Kuchiki Byakuya has pinned against the wall. “Ulquiorra Cifer.”_

_“You know this man?”_

_Ichigo shakes his head slowly, trying to decide if ‘yes’ or ‘no’ is the correct answer before he settles with, “I killed him back in Hueco Mundo.”_

_Byakuya seems to loosen his hold on the man for a bit but when the Espada struggles to free himself entirely, the captain casts a_ bakudo _to immobilise him. “Meet me at Urahara’s_ shoten _,” he tells Ichigo and appears to be considering his condition before he stipulates, “15 minutes.”_

And that is how Ichigo finds himself sitting in one of Urahara’s ‘interrogation’ rooms — as the shopkeeper calls it — with Byakuya and a bound Ulquiorra. He had to walk all the way from the place he found them in his neighbourhood. If only he still had his powers, he would’ve _shunpo_ over.

Urahara has left earlier to get tea and comes back with a small remote control in his hand. He settles down next to Ichigo, places the tea set at the centre of the table without bothering to pour any for them, and presses one of the buttons on the remote control. A screen is projected on the empty wall facing all four men and a _shinigami_ ’s face appears.

It is Ichigo’s first time in ten years seeing someone in that standard _shihakusho_. A feeling of nostalgia hits him immediately and he wishes he could run away from the pain he feels about losing his powers. He doesn’t even know why Byakuya wants him here. As far as Soul Society is concerned, Ichigo is no longer involved with matters of the spirit world.

“Kuchiki- _sama_ ,” the odd-looking _shinigami_ greets the captain before inclining his head at Ichigo. “Kurosaki- _san_ .” He has a white band with the number 12 written in _kanji_ tied to his upper arm, which makes him the Vice Captain of the 12th Division.

“Akon- _fukutaichou_ ,” Byakuya returns the greeting, his tone of voice, as always, means business. Ah… now Ichigo remembers the guy. Spoke to him a few times in the past but as usual, Ichigo is bad with names and faces.

“I see the tracker works,” Akon remarks.

“He was also not expecting me.”

“How did you find me?” Ulquiorra sneers, or as close to a sneer as the stoic-looking man could produce.

Between the Espada and Byakuya, Ichigo can’t decide which one of these pale-skinned, raven-haired men is more lacking of expression. Ulquiorra looks different now, without the streaks of tears down his cheeks and his eyes are no longer catlike. But that sad face is definitely his.

Byakuya touches two of his fingers to the side of Ulquiorra’s neck and conjures a disc the size of a small lithium coin battery.

“How…”

“That is my latest invention, thanks to you, Ulquiorra Cifer- _san_ , is it?” Akon smugly replies. “Similar to the active radar homing technology of a missile, this one picks up your _reiatsu_ signature, tracks you down, and attaches itself to you when it finds you.”

“But I’ve been concealing my _reiatsu_.”

“One’s _reiatsu_ always leaves a residue. In your case, it’s on your human body…” Akon explains. “And speaking of which, it is imperative for our Research and Development Institute to get to the bottom of your reappearance and your being.”

Ulquiorra narrows his eyes at the lieutenant. “I cannot let you do that.”

“We’ll decide on that later. In the meantime, you will be kept here until we know if you’re a threat, or how much of a threat you are to the World of the Living.”

At that, Ichigo straightens up in his seat. “I’m sorry but do you really need to prove that he is a threat? This guy was the Cuatro Espada, for _Kami_ ’s sake! He was the fourth most powerful Arrancar under Aizen Sousuke. Las Noches couldn’t even handle his Gran Rey Cero and _zanpakutou_. And you’re questioning his capability of being a threat to the World of the Living?”

“Kurosaki,” Byakuya speaks up. “This man is barely a Hollow now. This,” he emphasises by slicing Ulquiorra’s cheek with a _tanto_ which Ichigo hasn’t noticed he carries and elicits a hiss of pain from his victim. “is the blood of a human. He has evolved ever since he appeared in the World of the Living.”

Ichigo watches as thick red blood trickles down the the laceration on the _former_ Espada’s face. He remembers how Ulquiorra used to regenerate very quickly whenever he was wounded. “He died back in Hueco Mundo. How is he still alive? Why has he come back?”

“That’s what we want to know, Kurosaki- _san_ ,” it is Akon who answers him. “We are also trying to find out if there are others like him. We detected his _reiatsu_ six weeks ago and we’ve been observing his activities. He hasn’t done any harm as far as we know, although we did lose him for two weeks. It was only when Kuchiki- _sama_ went over this evening with the tracker that we managed to find him. His _reiatsu_ was masked in such a way that only this device could pick up based on the signature that came up in our radar when he first appeared.”

“Why was he at my neighbourhood?”

“One of the many questions we’d like him to answer for himself. But before that, it seems that there is one other pressing matter that you should know about and we apologise for keeping it from you,” Akon says, his eyes glancing back and forth between Byakuya and Ichigo. “Shall I tell him, Kuchiki- _sama_?”

“Do you even need to ask Byakuya after graciously letting me know you’ve been keeping something from me?” Ichigo snaps, ignoring the displeased huff of breath from Byakuya for being addressed without respect.

At the Kuchiki Head’s nod, Akon sighs, “Very well. Ulquiorra Cifer has been hiding out at your wife’s apartment.”

“What…”

“We approached her regarding the matter but she has denied any knowledge of his presence there…” Akon continues before getting cut off by Byakuya...

“Would you be able to attest to that, Ulquiorra Cifer?”

Ichigo clenches his teeth when the man remains quiet. “Answer the fucking question, you…”

“Why don’t you ask her yourself, Kurosaki Ichigo?” Ulquiorra scoffs. “Or do you not talk to her at all because your heart is with Kuchiki Rukia?”

“What the fuck are you talking about?” Ichigo growls, balling his hands into tight fists, while at the same time Byakuya snarls dangerously.

“What has my sister got to do with this?”

The captive tilts a corner of his lips and smirks at the other two men. “Inoue Orihime was the one who found me. I have been staying in her apartment since.”

Enraged, Ichigo reaches over and grabs Ulquiorra by the collar, slamming him onto the floor. “You’re telling me that my son’s been missing his mother because she’s been busy hiding you in her apartment?”

“Kurosaki…” Byakuya pulls the orange-haired man with a single-handed yank. Even in his _gigai_ , the strength of the captain is remarkable, and Ichigo lands on his back with a thud against the wall.

“Byakuya!”

“I think it’s best you speak to your wife about this,” the captain tells him quietly before turning his attention to Akon who does not seem bothered about all that has happened. “If you’re going to test him, _fukutaichou_ , you’d better send someone here now.”

“ _Hai_ , Kuchiki- _sama_ ,” the lieutenant obeys as his face disappears from their sight.

“I have questions for him, too, Byakuya!” Ichigo picks himself off the floor. He hasn’t been in much physical activities lately and his body is certainly not taking the hit very well.

Byakuya sighs, straightening his black button down shirt as he gets up from his sitting position, tugging Ulquiorra to a stand with him. “Speak to your wife, Kurosaki. Let us handle this one. We’ll summon you if we need your help.”

Ichigo is about to protest again but Byakuya turns back to face him with a stern look.

“And do not involve my sister in your family matters. Is that understood, Kurosaki?”

“Of course. I haven’t even…”

“She has suffered enough. I do not want her to be affected by your mess.”

“Cirrhosis. Is that what it is? A liver disease. Is it something common?” Rukia asks as they wait for their food to arrive at a corner booth.

After watching _Jack Ryan: Shadow Recruit_ , Ishida has taken them to a nearby restaurant for dinner. It’s nothing fancy, because Ishida knows she isn’t one for something over-the-top. Hence, the simple _bento_ he prepared for her this morning, which he later finds out she ate for lunch as well because she didn’t have much time to enjoy her breakfast.

“Mostly among alcoholics who drink their liver to death. I can count with one hand how many Cirrhosis patients I’ve come across in the past five years at the hospital,” he replies.

“I’ve often wondered if the movies portray medical illnesses accurately. Were those really symptoms of the disease Cathy Mueller mentioned during dinner with Cherevin? Yellow-tinged skin, spider-web veins at the backs of the hands. Is that really Stage 3?”

Ishida’s lips tilt into a small smile. He cannot deny that he finds her fascination for his field of work… sexy, delightfully fetching. “That’s not all there is in Stage 3. There’s also the swelling, first the legs from the feet to the ankles, and then, in the abdomen because of the accumulation of fluid due to water retention. A Cirrhosis patient bruises easily as well. I remember one middle-aged man… he was a sculptor. And obviously a very heavy drinker. I was in the Accident & Emergency at the time and he would show up with his hands in our face and a slur in his voice,” he tells her, turning Rukia’s hand which he has been holding under the table. Placing it on his lap with her palm facing upwards, he drags his thumbs across the surface in a gentle massage. “He would demand to know why his hands were red and why he couldn’t hold his sculpting tools properly.”

Rukia furrows her brows, her eyes telling how she is imagining the man Ishida is talking about. “That’s horrible… losing the ability to do what you like because of a disease.”

“Yeah. Most people don’t realise they are destroying their own lives until it’s too late,” he says, interlacing their fingers once again. “It didn’t take long for him to get to Stage 4. And later on, he drank himself to death because he was depressed he couldn’t sculpt anymore with his shaking hands.”

“Regret. It piles up around us like books we never read,” Rukia quotes _Viktor Cherevin_ ’s line from the movie.

Ishida chuckles. “You really like that show, don’t you.”

“Movies like these intrigue me about the human world. It’s one way of learning about the living without actually living it,” Rukia explains and Ishida wonders if she would rather… “Not the romance kind, Uryuu. I know what you’re thinking.”

Throwing his head back with a full-blown laugh for the way she reads his mind so easily, he squeezes her hand before bringing it up to his lips for a peck on her knuckles. “Let me guess, you’d rather have your own personal experience with that one.”

Rukia’s face notably reddens at his implication as she covers her embarrassment with a huff. “Well, yes. Because most of the rom-com movies I’ve watched are more cheesy than realistic or practical.”

“True,” Ishida agrees with a nod. “But you have to admit that that’s what happens at the beginning of every relationship.”

Rukia’s face twists in feigned scepticism. “Hmm… I wouldn’t know. Never had any experience with it.”

“Really, now?” he scoffs, watching her break into a wide smile as she lets out a soft snicker. Without warning, Ishida lifts his free hand to cradle her cheek and fuses their mouths together. He smirks at the gasp that escapes her before she responds to his kiss.

 _The honeymoon period, they call this_ , Ishida thinks as he savour the feel of her lips. He knows better than to expect it to last forever. So he’s going to make sure their entire relationship remains — regardless of how long they are given to be together— at the honeymoon period, no matter how cheesy or unrealistic it is.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let it be known that I have nothing against Hotsugaya Hotshiro. In fact, HitsuKarin and HitsuRuki are two of my favourite ships beside IchiRuki. But I just find it fun to tease smol taichou here.
> 
> Jack Ryan: Shadow Recruit (starring Chris Pine, Keira Knightley, and Kevin Costner) was actually released a few days after 14 January 2014. But I needed a good movie for the two to talk about, that’s why I chose this show.
> 
> I know I promised I would post this up a couple of days after the previous chapter. But once again, I got carried away and wrote too much, so I had to take out a big chunk for the next chapter. The good news is, I now have a proper direction for this fic. It’s been on my mind, sure, along with a few other possible endings. But this time, I’m quite sure this is where I want it to go. Bear with me and thank you all so much for your reviews, follows, and favs.


	22. Chapter 22

 

Ichigo sighs, looking down at his feet with remorse as Kuchiki Byakuya leaves the room with Ulquiorra Cifer in tow.  _ Talk to Orihime? Does she even want to talk to me? Why did she hide Ulquiorra in her apartment? And all these while, I thought I was giving her space by letting her go there to cope with her illness. _

“Ichigo- _ kun _ …”

He turns around to find Urahara sitting by the corner. Why has he been quiet the entire time they were talking to Akon? “What?”

“I’m sure you need someone to explain to you all that has happened.”

“If you are that someone, then spit it out already, Geta-boshi!”

The shopkeeper tuts at his former apprentice. “As impatient as ever. Sit down and have a cup of tea. I’ll tell you everything,” he says, taking his own seat at the table.

Ichigo sinks back down on the spot he was sitting earlier, his back still aches from being thrown at the wall. He swears Byakuya has some serious issues with him, even to this day when he hasn’t had anything to do with the spirit world for 10 years. Why is that stick-up-the-arse captain so determined to get him killed?

“The 12th Division detected a stray  _ reiatsu _ six weeks ago,” Urahara begins. “They called it the ‘lost soul’ as they didn’t know what form it took and they thought it was some leftover signals from Yhwach’s destruction. The  _ reiatsu _ remained consistent, stayed at the same location, and didn’t appear to be causing harm to its surrounding area… for a month. On New Year’s Eve, however, it started to move from one place to another before it disappeared entirely. That was when we started to investigate and we found out its nesting place all the while was your wife’s apartment. We engaged Arisawa Tatsuki’s help to speak to Inoue because we know of her condition.”

“Wait… Tatsuki knows about this? Why wasn’t I informed?” Ichigo interrupts him.

“Listen!” Urahara raises a hand to silence him. “We thought she would be the right person to speak to Inoue because she knows her best. And we kept it from you, knowing how you would react and the last thing we want is for you to come charging headlong into matters that are  _ not of your concern _ because you are no longer involved in the Shinigami business.”

“Does my sister know about it, then?” Ichigo demands, certain he does not even need to hear the answer.

Urahara nods apologetically.

“So how long were you all planning to keep this whole thing from me?”

“Honestly? We would never have told you, if we could help it. According to Arisawa, Inoue said there was nothing unusual happening at her apartment. We believed her because we know she can’t feel spiritual pressure and she wouldn’t know if there was a loitering soul near her. We just didn’t know the ‘lost soul’ was in a human form that she could encounter and someone she would lie to protect.

“How did you know that…” Ichigo pauses. “Orihime was lying?”

“We didn’t. It so happened that the tracker was ready and Byakuya was visiting Rukia- _ chan _ today. He offered to take it into the World of the Living and set the tracker off. He followed its signal and saw Cifer and Inoue talking in the apartment before she left, presumably to head home.”

Truthfully, Ichigo does not know what to feel about Orihime hiding all these from him, or anyone, for that matter. She has been keeping to herself since she was discharged from the centre. In fact, she has always been keeping to herself but she would usually speak to Tatsuki. Ichigo is surprised she would lie to her best friend about Ulquiorra.

Oddly enough, he doesn’t think she is fooling around behind his back — which he should, with the way she is hiding  _ another man  _ while married to him. He just feels she isn’t capable of being emotionally attached at the moment. And even if there is something going on between her and Ulquiorra, Ichigo sees it as Inoue Orihime, his former comrade and classmate seeing someone, rather than Orihime, his wife being unfaithful to him. 

And that’s because there has never been any  _ emotional attachment  _ between her and Ichigo… at least not on Ichigo’s part. 

But what really upsets him about this whole thing is that Orihime has been avoiding spending time with Kazui for a while now; ever since she was discharged, to be exact. The boy craves his mother’s attention. He tries to be good around her, and still Orihime doesn’t show him much affection. When he acts out, she would go up to her room quietly and not bother to say anything to him. And yet, she is capable of caring for this man she is keeping in her apartment…

“Ichigo,” Urahara interrupts his thoughts, sounding more serious and even dropping his usual honorific for him. “I know this isn’t going to be easy. But we need you to talk to Inoue. We need to know how she found him, if she has any idea why he is here years after the Fake Karakura incident, in a human body, and if he has threatened to harm her and your family.”

“Orihime and I don’t really talk…”

“But you are our only hope to get something out of her. She wouldn’t even tell Arisawa the truth. Inoue promised she would let her know when something out of place happens. So far, there has been no news from Arisawa. This means that Inoue never contacted her about Cifer.”

“They are best friends. Maybe Tatsuki is helping her cover this up,” Ichigo suggests, even as he knows how ridiculous that sounds because Tatsuki would never let Orihime put herself in danger if she knew about Ulquiorra. She would’ve been the first one to call her out on it.

Urahara scoffs. “You know as well as I do that Arisawa wouldn’t do that. Besides, she is seeing one of our Shinigami. She knows how risky it is to have an unknown soul wandering around and for that soul to be close to her mentally ill friend…”

“I know about Renji, you don’t have to skirt around that. And you don’t have to be careful with everything you’re saying to me. I’ve accepted that I may never belong to your world again. I’ve accepted that I will always be an outsider from the moment I lost…” Ichigo swallows.  _ Rukia, _ is what he wants to say but he lies, instead, “from the moment I lost my powers. Just… tell me what I should know, especially now that it involves the possibility of my son losing his mother to more than just her illness.”

Urahara nods solemnly. “How is Kazui- _ kun _ ?”

“He’s…” Ichigo sighs. “He’s trying to understand what’s going on with his mother. He’s trying to be a big boy about it. Urahara, he’s only five. He should be playing outside without a care in the world. Not constantly thinking about how to get his mother to so much as sit next to him while he’s doodling.”

Ichigo feels beaten, and that’s not even because of what Byakuya did to him earlier. It’s as if he’s finally acknowledging how tired he is that his life is so messed up and he has managed to drag his son into it as well. He knows his days of protecting a mountain load of people are gone, but Kazui is the only person he wants to protect now because he is the  _ only one left  _ for him to protect. 

* * *

Tatsuki arrives at the Kurosaki household just in time to catch Orihime before she heads to bed. It seems that the strawberry blonde turns in much earlier these days. After opening the door for Tatsuki, Yuzu has gone up to Kazui’s room to prepare him for bed.

“What is it, Tatsuki- _ chan _ ? I’m quite tired today.”

“I won’t take up much of your time. Just need to ask you a question,” Tatsuki tells her, knowing well enough that it won’t be a great conversation with the way Orihime is already trying to weasel out of talking to her. 

“And what is that?”

“Is there something you want to tell me, Hime?”

Orihime casts her a frown. “Is there something you want me to tell you?”

“Hime…”

“What do you want me to tell you?”

Tatsuki sighs, “Are you seeing someone?”

“Seeing someone? You mean have I been hallucinating?”

“No. I was asking if you’re going out with someone.”

“I don’t go out with anybody. You know I hardly go out at all.”

Tatsuki heaves a long breath in frustration. Not that she is frustrated with her best friend. No, she’s just upset that they don’t get each other like they used to. “Are you dating someone, Orihime?”

The other woman looks back at her incredulously. “What kind of a question is that, Tatsuki- _ chan _ ? I’m a married woman. Whether or not I am happily so, is another matter. What makes you think I would be unfaithful?”

“Is there a man staying with you?” Tatsuki tries with a different angle.

“Where is this going? Why are you asking me things like these?” Orihime demands, getting up from her dining room chair.

“Just answer the question, Hime. If you’re not seeing someone outside of your marriage, you don’t have to be so defensive. And you don’t have to hide if that person doesn’t mean anything to you.”

“Get out of my house, Arisawa Tatsuki,” Orihime mutters, pointing a long finger at the door.

Tatsuki stands up, shocked at being chased out from the place where she could freely walk in and out from since she was four. But she remains rooted where she is. “Why does your laundry consists of men’s clothings, Orihime?”

The blonde’s eyes widen as her face turns red in anger. “You lied to me. You said they wouldn’t keep watch at my apartment.”

“ _ You _ lied to  _ me _ . You said there’s no one there. Who is this man, Hime?”

“It’s none of your business,” Orihime fumes and Tatsuki winces at how high-pitched her voice has gone. “I’m not going to say it again, Arisawa. Get out of my house or I’ll call the police.”

Tatsuki purses her lips as she stares back at her best friend. This is not the Orihime she used to know. She hasn’t  _ been _ the Orihime she used to know for a while now. What is she hiding?

“We’re only trying to look out for you, Orihime. The ‘lost soul’ they are looking for could harm you. It was never our intention to pry. But whoever the man is… whatever it is you’re going through,” Tatsuki pleads. “please talk to Ichigo. I’m sure he will understand. Don’t do this to him and Kazui.”

Orihime scoffs before she lets out a sarcastic laugh. “Ichigo has never loved me. He only married me because of his guilt and he thought it was the right thing to do to be responsible for what happened between us. I don’t think he cares or even notices if I were seeing someone else,” she retorts. “And I’m not. Whatever those  _ shinigami _ told you is a lie.”

“Hime…”

“Out!”

* * *

“I know it’s difficult and Inoue is probably a different person now. But think about it. This is not just about you being useful to the spirit world once again. Your son’s safety is on the line as well because we do not know what Cifer’s purpose is, to come back to life… and why of all people, Inoue is the one in contact with him first,” Urahara tells Ichigo as he walks him out of the ‘interrogation’ room. 

“I’ll let you know,” Ichigo says even though he doubts he could ever get anything out of Orihime. He is about to leave when a redhead emerges from another room in the  _ shoten _ .

“Ichigo?”

“Renji.”

The  _ shinigami _ inclines his head towards the entrance. Ichigo nods in response and the two of them walk out of the shop as Byakuya comes out from the same room to join Urahara in the other.

“ _ Taichou _ just told me about what happened earlier this evening,” Renji says, stopping at the doorway. 

“You should have told me,” Ichigo mumbles, slipping his hands into his pockets to hide the clench of his fists.

“We didn’t think it would involve you.”

“Really?” Ichigo scoffs. “The mother of my son doesn’t involve me?”

“I’m sorry.”

“Are you?” the former  _ shinigami _ narrows his eyes.

Once again, he is the last to be informed of something he has every right to know. First, his father didn’t find it necessary to tell him that he was the  _ shinigami _ captain of the 10th Division even after he knew Ichigo’s dormant powers had been awaken. Then, there’s that thing about Zangetsu being the manifestation of his Quincy powers when all the while he thought he was the spirit of his  _ zanpakutou _ . Why does everyone feel the need to hide things from him like he is not capable of handling all these like a mature person?

“Look, Ichigo. Inoue… Kurosaki…  _ Orihime… _ god, this is weird…” Renji stammers.

“Whatever is fine.”

“Your  _ wife _ …”

Ichigo grunts in agitation but he lets the man continue.

“She requested that we did not get your family involved in this because you’re living a normal life. So we didn’t.”

“She also said she didn’t want you investigate her apartment but you did anyway”

“That’s different. The presence of that stray  _ reiatsu _ is a matter of the spirit world. Even without her permission, we would’ve gone there to check it out. But we decided to ask her first, out of courtesy, because she was one of our allies during the war. We didn’t know she would keep it from us. I knew there was a guy living in her place. Rukia thinks your wife is dealing with her illness by re-enacting her brother’s presence. Karin is adamant she is cheating on you but we’ve banned her from the mission because it obviously got too personal.”

Ichigo lets out a low, bitter chuckle. “Even my little sister knows.”

“There being an actual man in the apartment was solely her own deduction — and now we all know that she was right about that — but she was letting her own emotions cloud her judgement, affecting her performance as a  _ shinigami-daiko _ .” 

Renji’s mention of Ichigo’s old title is like a stab through his chest; only this time, the stab does not return his powers to him. 

“They don’t know about this latest development yet,” Renji continues. “Rukia and Karin, I mean. One is celebrating her birthday and the other is patrolling the town.”

“Rukia’s birthday…”

“Yeah,” Renji confirms distractedly as his mobile phone rings in his pocket. Lifting his hand to excuse himself, he answers the call. “Tsuki…”

Ichigo watches the redhead’s expression visibly soften as his demeanour changes when he says the name of his girlfriend. A pang of jealousy hits him as he realises he’s never had the chance to experience that. Maybe he should’ve worked on his relationship with Orihime. She is, afterall, his wife. It would’ve been good for Kazui. But he instantly shoves the thought to the back of his mind. There’s no way he could pretend when he never saw Orihime beyond being his classmate and comrade. In fact, where a connection is concerned, he has more of that with Tatsuki than Orihime. Not even for his son, could he ever fake his emotions. 

“About that,” he hears Renji say to the phone. “We’ve found out whom the  _ reiatsu _ belongs to. My captain caught him. You should come over to the  _ shoten _ , babe. I don’t want you to be alone after all that. Ichigo is here, too.”

There is a pause on Renji’s part as Tatsuki seems to be saying something really quickly. 

Renji rolls his eyes, chuckling at whatever it is that Tatsuki is saying, which sounds like she’s highly anxious. “He knows. Don’t worry about it. We’re going to discuss this once Rukia and Karin are here.”

Ichigo looks away in time to avoid listening in on the mushy goodbye  _ and _ to see Chad’s car pull up in front of them. Karin steps out of the car but Chad is apparently saying something to her because she abruptly turns around wide-eyed to see her brother.

“Ichigo,” Chad calls out. “You’re meeting with them?”

“What are you doing here, Ichi- _ nii _ ?”

Ichigo gapes his mouth to say something but ends up just shrugging as he doesn’t know which to answer. Chad gives him nod and gestures towards the small parking lot at the right side of the  _ shoten _ before he drives over to park his car there and gets out to join the rest at the entrance.

“Oh good… you’re here,” Renji greets Karin once he ends his call with Tatsuki. “Why don’t we step over there for a bit and I’ll explain all that has happened this evening. Let Chad and your brother catch up.”

Despite not seeing each other for such a long time, Ichigo realises there isn’t much to catch up on. Chad is, as usual, the quiet guy with nothing much to say. The only thing they manage to joke about is that Ichigo would skin him if he finds out he hurts Karin, a threat Chad brushes off quickly, telling him that Karin isn’t even interested in him  _ and _ no one dares to hurt her, anyway, because everyone knows Kurosaki Karin whoops arses like nobody’s business.

As Renji and Karin join the two ex-classmates again, a white saloon car drives past the entrance and parks on the other side of Chad’s. They watch as two figure come out of the car and walk towards the back of it where the taller person opens it to retrieve something as the other one lets out a laugh.

Ichigo immediately recognises who they are but everyone else is just standing there in silence, observing from where they are, the couple who are oblivious that they have an audience.

It gets awkward when Ishida — that bloody Quincy — places his hand on Rukia’s hip before encircling his arm around her waist to pull her towards him.

Ichigo inhales deeply as he turns away from the couple —  _ fuck, they are a bloody couple now —  _ only to see three pairs of pitying eyes looking back at him. “What?” he snaps under his breath.

“I’m sorry you had to see that, dude,” Renji says. “Are you going to be all right?”

“Of course, I’m going to be all right. What’s there to see?” Ichigo shrugs, although mentally, he is chiding himself for giving Ishida the idea to make his move on Rukia. But then again, they both absolutely deserve this, after all they’ve been through. His marriage to Orihime set everything off into a fucked up direction for everyone. This — Ishida and Rukia — is probably the best thing that has happened among their group of friends.

“You’re right. There’s nothing to see,” Renji retracts, his eyes glancing over Ichigo’s shoulder to see  _ nothing _ . “And even if you saw  _ nothing _ , I shouldn’t feel sorry for you because years ago, I was the one on the outside looking in, yearning for that same girl to look at me the way she used to worship you.”

Ichigo scoffs as Karin backhands Renji’s arm for saying those things to her brother. “She didn’t worship me. If anything, it was the other way around.”

“Oh, you don’t know the half of it, man,” Renji says, rubbing his sore spot and tossing his assailant a quick glare before facing Ichigo again. “You… Nah, it’s too late to say anything. I’ve moved on. You should, too.”

“And where should I move on to? I have a kid, please remember that, just in case if you’ve also forgotten that… oh, I’m also  _ bloody _ married.”

Chad is the first person to break the awkward tension within the group by letting out a chuckle. Karin joins him a second later, snickering under her palm.

“Wow, I see how my plight serves as your amusement, Chad. I’m so blessed to have you as a friend,” Ichigo spits half-heartedly, inciting a louder round of laughter which includes Renji. “You guys are the absolute gold stars of my life.”

Renji guffaws, putting his arm around Ichigo. “Don’t look now but here comes the couple of the year. I am pretty sure the smaller one is going to freak out seeing you here,” he says as the people in question approaches them, a box balanced in Ishida’s arms while he locks his car with the remote control with Rukia walking ahead of him.

If she is surprised to see Ichigo there, the Midget doesn’t show it. All she does is stop right in front of them, looking questioningly — or accusatively, more like it — from one face to another. “What are you all staring at?”

As Ishida hands the box to Karin — quietly telling her something along the lines of ‘that’s all we could find’, Renji and Ichigo both burst out laughing at the stern expression on Rukia’s face, which they have always been so used to.

The petite woman narrows her eyes dangerously at them and even though they know what to expect, they are still not fast enough to avoid being kicked in the shins before she saunters into the  _ shoten _ , ignoring the undignified yelp of the two ‘boys’.

_ Yeah… we’re going to be all right _ , Ichigo thinks with a small smile as he follows after a smirking Ishida —  _ I don’t think the guy has met Rukia’s wrath, but he definitely will one of these days _ , the amused Karin and Chad, and a limping Renji, cursing at short people with ridiculous strength.

* * *

When Rukia received the message that there would be a meeting at Urahara’s, she was definitely not expecting a reunion. Looking around the room, the only one that’s missing is Orihime. Her heart sinks at that. She should’ve been here. But no, according to Urahara and  _ Nii-sama _ ’s briefing, Inoue Orihime has been hiding Ulquiorra Cifer a.k.a. The Lost Soul all these while. She glances at Ichigo to catch a reaction on his part, but there is none — not when they call his wife by her maiden name, not when they mention she is hiding another man in her apartment, and not when they declare Ulquiorra Cifer, the former and second strongest Espada who was killed by Ichigo himself, as the owner of the stray  _ reiatsu _ they have been looking for.

She wants to know what he thinks of all these. She wants him to rant and maybe even rage about it, but apparently, he is taking it quite well, except for the part where they voice out their concern for the safety of his son. Ichigo has been void of any expressions since they all walked through the main doors of the  _ shoten _ 30 minutes ago. And speaking of which…

_ Rukia’s phone vibrates, indicating an incoming message, as Uryuu is paying for their meal at the restaurant.  _

_ ‘Team meeting at Urahara’s. 10.30 pm.’ It’s from Renji and she finds it peculiar that they will be having their meeting tonight. While it is not unusual for them to have ‘team meetings’ on Tuesdays because that’s when she has her day off at the bar, Urahara knows she has an appointment tonight because it’s her birthday. She decides to shrug it off as the old man going senile and forgetful.  _

_ They are done, anyway. She doesn’t think Uryuu has any other plans for the night except heading back home for… who-knows-what-other-surprises… _

I sure hope he doesn’t  _ have _ any other surprises. I don’t want to disappoint him by telling him I have to go to the  _ shoten _ after this,  _ she thinks as her phone vibrates again. _

‘You’re going for the meeting?’ _ It’s Karin this time around. _

_ ‘Yes. Going back home to change so it’ll be awhile, though,’ Rukia texts back, glancing down at the dark blue, off-shoulder sheath dress she is wearing.  _

‘Don’t. I want to see what you’re wearing for your date.’

_ ‘Get lost, Karin. What do you want?’ _

‘The collection of  _ samurai _ movies I saw under your TV. I need something to kill time with till February.’

_ ‘Fine. See you in half-an-hour.’ _

_ To Rukia’s relief, Uryuu really does not have anything else planned for the evening except chilling out at home. While she changes out of her dress into a pair of jeans and t-shirt, he is commissioned to look for all the  _ samurai _ movies for Karin. It takes them less than 10 minutes to get out of the house and another 10 to reach Urahara’s where Uryuu parks his car next to a beat-up  _ Pajero _ , which Rukia doesn’t recognise. _

_ “By showing up here, I hope I don’t get robbed into this ‘lost soul’ business like how Cathy Mueller had to play her 10-minute part with Viktor Cherevin,” Uryuu says as they get out of the car. _

_ Rukia laughs out loud, but mostly at the way Uryuu’s face remains nonchalant at the possibility of getting involved in the spirit world again. It’s as if he has resigned himself to the fact that he will somehow ‘get robbed in’ because they are both going out and he can’t escape that; but he is still able to find it amusing despite how much he doesn’t want to go back that path. _

_ “It’s your fault for taking me in as your roommate, Dragon,” Rukia says, rolling her eyes as they head to the back of the car and Uryuu opens the boot to take the box of movies out.  _

_ He smirks, slipping his free hand under her jacket and briefly brushing the exposed skin above the waistband of her jeans before he loops his arm around her waist. “I don’t regret a thing, Shinigami. Best accidental arrangement I’ve had in my life,” he murmurs into her ear and then, steals a quick kiss from her lips. “Don’t know how your brother will react to this, though. Pretty sure this isn’t what he had in mind when he told me to rent a room out to you.” _

_ “He  _ told _ you?” _

_ “What? Did you think Kuchiki Byakuya would know how to request politely? You have a very biased opinion about your brother, Rukia,” he snorts, shutting the boot and gesturing for her to walk ahead of him to the  _ shoten _. _

_ “Now that you’ve mentioned it,” Rukia says, stepping away from the parking lot once he has locked his car. “I hope Urahara or Renji can keep their mouths shut. Getting you killed by  _ sakura  _ petals isn’t exactly my plan, either.” _

_ Uryuu chuckles, “I did tell you once, that I would revive my Quincy powers for you, remember?” _

_ “I’m not worth the hassle, Dragon,” she tells him, squinting at the few figures standing at the entrance of the  _ shoten _ which she can’t quite make out in the dark. _

_ “Rukia,” she hears Uryuu sigh behind her. “At this point, you’re worth my life. And that’s the only one I have because I’m not a soul like you.” _

_ “Uryuu…” Turning around, she is about to chastise him for saying something so precipitous when he stops dead in his tracks, causing her to lightly crash into the box he is holding in front of him. _

_ “Is that Kurosaki?” _

_ “Karin?”  _

_ “Her brother…” _

_ Rukia glances back towards the direction Uryuu is looking at. Her eyes widen at the sight of orange she hasn’t noticed earlier. He and Renji seem to be having a private conversation with their heads inclined towards each other. “What’s Ichigo doing here?” _

_ “Are they involving him in this now?” _

_ “I don’t know…” she says, her heart hammering within her chest when she realises that those people standing outside the  _ shoten _ could have seen what happened between her and Uryuu by his car a moment ago. Inwardly, she wills away the blush she knows is creeping up her face. Is she embarrassed of what they were doing back there? No. But she’s not someone who likes to draw attention to herself either.  _

_ “Are you going to be okay, Rukia?” Uryuu asks her quietly as they begin walking again. _

_ “Yes, Uryuu. Don’t worry about me. I can…” _

_ Uryuu scoffs, momentarily distracting her from her self-consciousness. “You’re bad at acting. Don’t even try.” _

_ Gritting her teeth, she bites out a threat, “You are so getting it from me, Dragon.”  _

_ “Can’t wait…” _

_ Rukia stops a few steps away from the small group, looking at their solemn expressions from Sado to Karin, and  from Renji to Ichigo. “What are you all staring at?” she puts on her most demanding voice. _

_ There is an odd silence before she hears Uryuu telling Karin as he hands her the box, “That’s all we could find. Knock yourself out.” _

_ And then, Renji and Ichigo burst out laughing, a reaction — she deciphers after years of knowing them — to her stern face, she supposes, which they often find amusing.  _ When are these boys ever going to grow up? _ she mentally sighs, kicking each of them in the shin before she continues walking into the  _ shoten _. _

“Are we clear on your role in this, Kurosaki?”  _ Nii-sama _ ’s voice brings her back to the present. Nobody is looking at Ichigo but she knows everyone is holding their breath and listening hopefully for his answer. What Soul Society wants Ichigo to do is not impossible, but it is not an easy task either, especially considering the tension that exists in his relationship with Orihime.

“Interrogate the mother of my son about the man she’s been hiding in her apartment?” Ichigo scoffs. “Sure. But you have to promise me that I will never be kept in the dark again about this. And you will let me assist in any way I physically can.”

Did she just hear Kuchiki Byakuya grunt a reply? She doesn’t think her brother is capable of doing something so… uncultured.

“You have our word,” he finally says.

“Well,” Urahara speaks up in his cheerful voice. “That’s about all we can do at the moment. Until Ichigo- _ kun _ gets us some useful information from his wife, Rukia- _ chan _ and Abarai- _ kun _ will continue to make their rounds at the apartment in their soul form. We don’t want any problems with the authority if one of the neighbours decides to make a police report about stalkers.”

Seven pairs of eyes glare at him when he lets out a cynical laugh at his own statement, which no one else seems to think is funny. Tatsuki, however, raises a brow quizzically at Rukia and getting a shrug with an eye-roll in response.

“I have one question,” Ichigo says, ignoring Urahara. “Have you spoken to Grimmjow or Harribel about Ulquiorra? They might know something.”

“Soul Society’s relationship with Hueco Mundo has been cordial since after the war,”  _ Nii-sama _ replies. “We have no reason to believe the Arrancars have any connection with the reincarnation of Ulquiorra Cifer. Otherwise, they would’ve contacted us before this.”

“What if…”

“We do not wish to disrupt the peace between the spirit worlds. Unless we are able to confirm that Cifer is indeed a threat, confronting the Arrancars would imply our suspicions of betrayal on their part. We do not want to risk that.”

“Like I said, Cifer is the fourth Espada in rank and the second most powerful one. How can he not be a threat?” Ichigo insists.

“He  _ was _ an Espada. Currently, he is a human; no different from you, Kurosaki,”  _ Nii-sama _ counters and Rukia thinks that was a low-blow from his brother, seeing as Ichigo has never been happy about being completely human again. But to Kuchiki Byakuya, the truth supersedes all emotions. Witnessing the hurt that crosses Ichigo’s face causes a lump to form in her throat.

“That does not prove that he will not harm anyone.”

“But it does mean that he is under the jurisdiction of the authorities of the Living World.”

“If I may, Ichigo- _ kun _ ,” Urahara clears his throat to get an opportunity to speak, gaining another glare from the Ichigo. “By right, we are not supposed to conduct any tests on Cifer because he is a human with barely any active spiritual pressure. We are only doing it because when he first appeared, there were traces of  _ reiatsu _ emanating from him. Of course, we are also considering the fact that he was an Arrancar who was killed by you, Ichigo- _ kun _ . So rest assured that we will get to the bottom of his reincarnation. But if he does not show signs of threatening the spirit world, we will have to let him continue living as a human.”

“And if, as a human, he is a threat to my family?”

Another silence ensues as everyone looks to  _ Nii-sama  _ for an answer.

“You’re just going to wash your hands off the matter, aren’t you?” Ichigo snaps. “Just because he no longer houses any fucking spiritual…”

“I was hoping, as a man who’s much older and wiser than the audacious youth you were 10 years ago, you would be percipient enough of the entire situation. But I suppose, once again, I am proven wrong as with everything about you,”  _ Nii-sama _ says — in Kuchiki Byakuya’s standard of a snarl between his teeth. “However, you are mistaken if you think we would  _ wash our hands off _ so easily.”

Even Urahara seems visibly unease about the tension in his shop, despite how he always appears unaffected by Rukia’s brother because of how well he’s known him. 

“We will continue to observe him from Soul Society. Our team of  _ shinigami _ in the World of the Living, which includes the Captain of the 13th Division, my lieutenant, and  _ your sister _ ,”  _ Nii-sama  _ stresses, causing the said girl to shrink into her seat. “will be at your disposal should anything untoward happens in the future. Is that understood, Kurosaki?”

Despite the sarcastic ‘yes, sir’ Ichigo grinds out a couple of everyone’s nervous heartbeats later, they are at least assured of his cooperation in the matter. After all, the safety of his son is at stake. Rukia hopes he knows he isn’t alone in this. Tatsuki will surely back him up and Karin would never let anything happen to her nephew. However, based on their experience, she knows Ichigo will somehow act on his own anyway. This calls for the involvement of Sado and even Uryuu once again because they are the ones who will be able to knock some sense into him.

Uryuu is not going to be very happy about _getting_ _robbed into_ this.

* * *

“When I approved of Rukia’s residence in your place, I did not expect you, a Quincy, to have some other  _ intention _ towards my sister, a Shinigami.”

“Neither did I, Kuchiki- _ sama _ . But Rukia and I grew closer and in complete understanding of each other over the months she was staying here,” Ishida replies, keeping a firm eye-contact with the brother of his…  _ girlfriend _ ?

“Are you aware that your relationship is only temporary and will be expected to end when she leaves the World of the Living for good?”

“Yes.”

“Are you aware that that can happen anytime soon?” Kuchiki presses on.

“Yes,” Ishida says. Of course, he knows. It’s been hanging over his head since he discovered his feelings for her but he is adamant not to let this uncertainty affect the progress of their relationship. He wants them to make the best out of the time they have before something happens to take it away from them.

“And are you aware that I will kill you and make it look like you took your own sad life, if you so much as hurt a strand of her hair?”

“Absolutely. In fact, I will probably get to me before you do,” the Quincy says confidently.

The Kuchiki Head continues to glare at him — at least, Ishida thinks that’s what he is doing since his facial expression does not change at all in the 20 minutes he has been interrogating him. 

The moment Ishida saw Rukia’s brother when they entered the  _ shoten _ , he has been expecting the captain to confront him at some point of the meeting. As uncomfortable as it may be, he is grateful Kuchiki did not decide to butcher him in front of everyone. Instead, he told him to stay back while the others left the room. 

_ “Nii-sama…” _

_ “I will speak to him alone, Rukia.” _

_ “Yes,  _ Nii-sama _.” _

So here they are, two men discussing Rukia — Queen to one and Pride to the other.

“You may go,” Kuchiki finally says. “But that does not mean I approve of your relationship. Only that my sister’s happiness is my priority.”

Ishida nods. “I understand. As a human, I cannot make any promises. But it is my intention to make her happy in the short time that we are given to be together.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for your reviews! I appreciate how so many of you are open to this ship. I hope you enjoyed this chapter. I will be quite busy the entire month of June but I’ll try to write a bit whenever I can and post the next chapter up soon.


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a song-inspired filler chapter. Thought I’d write something lighter(?) after all the tension we had in the last few chapters, before we get back to the story. Everything here happens before the New Year’s Eve gala.

 

It’s like a yo-yo. No, not his feelings for Rukia. _That_ he is pretty sure of. He can tell it’s not something that’s going to go away anytime soon, if it ever goes away at all. The yo-yo is about his decision to let her know and later on, whether he should try to pursue a relationship with her, short as it may be. Two yo-yos…

First yo-yo: to tell or not to tell.

If he tells her, they become awkward around each, he loses her as a friend, they lose everything good that’s going on between them.

If he doesn’t tell her, he will never know what they could become.

Say, they are all right after he tells her. Second yo-yo, then: to pursue or not to pursue.

If they decide to take their relationship to another level, they both know it’s a temporary thing because she is only going to be in the World of the Living for a few years. Their relationship will have to end eventually. And that will mean a massive heartbreak for the two of them. Is it safer to stay as they are? And if they don’t do anything about it, they’ll never know what they could become.

Rukia was right when she said this relationship thing is troublesome. He can absolutely see it now; especially between two people who can’t _really_ be together.

For a long time, he has been avoiding the thought of telling her about his feelings for her. He was certain it would be a bad idea.

Until Tanaka — that bloody idiot who _can_ make sense sometimes — says something that sets Ishida’s yo-yos into action...

* * *

TUESDAY, 24th December

The pattering of the rain against the window of the doctor’s room catches Ishida’s attention in the midst of his scribbling on the charts. _Of all the time to rain,_ he muses as he watches from the 8th floor of the hospital building: couples huddling close together in the streets below and giggling under their umbrellas. It’s very common for Christmas Eve in Japan to be celebrated like Valentine’s Day in the Western countries. Apparently, not even the rain could stop these people from being romantic.

“You’re still here?” comes a voice from behind him.

Ishida turns around to see Tanaka entering the room while putting on his doctor’s coat. “Of course.”

“Why?” the other man asks incredulously, rounding the table Ishida is at and peering at the piles of paperwork he is busy with.

“I’m on a shift,” Ishida replies.

“But why?” Tanaka asks again, stressing on the ‘why’.

“Why not?” he mumbles, not bothering to look up at his colleague.

Tanaka slaps a hand down on the chart he is working on to get his attention. “Why are you not out with Kuchiki?”

With his middle finger, Ishida slides his glasses up the bridge of his nose as he glares up at the other man. “That’s none of your business. Get out of here. You’re late for your shift.”

“You had a fight?”

“No.”

“It’s Tuesday. Nichibotsu Bar is closed. So she can’t be working,” Tanaka deduces, removing his hand from the paper and placing it on his hip.

“She’s not,” Ishida confirms as he begins writing again.

“Is she sick?”

“No.”

“Then, why are you not doing couple-y things with her?”

“Because we’re not a couple.”

“That’s bullshit.”

Ishida shrugs. “Whatever you say.”

“Haven’t you told her how you feel?” Tanaka asks.

At that, Ishida glares at him again. “And how do I feel?”

“You like her, don’t you?”

“We’re good friends.”

“That doesn’t answer my question.”

“Which I don’t feel obliged to entertain…”

“You’re going to lose her someday, if you don’t tell her, Ishida.”

“We all lose people, Tanaka. As a doctor, you should already know that.”  
But the other man ignores him and continues, “Then, you’re going to turn into that lifeless soul you were before she came back into your life.”

“And that concerns you, how?”

“It concerns us because we, at the hospital, are going to be ones forced to look at you drag your feet from one ward to the next. Again.”

Ishida is taken aback that his past self was significant enough to be remembered that way. But he dismisses it with a scoff. “That’s not going to happen.”

“Yeah?” Tanaka chuckles. “It’s probably going to be worse this time. And do you know why?”

Ishida sighs, crossing his arms over his chest. “I suppose you have the answer to that. Please enlighten me, Omniscient Master of the Universe so I can bloody get back to this neverending work of mine.”

“You’ve already given a huge part of yourself to her. So huge, there will hardly be anything left of you when you lose her,” Tanaka says with a nod before slapping Ishida’s shoulder as he walks towards the door. “You’ve got it bad, this time around, man. Do something about it.”

Ten minutes later, after trying and failing to get back to his paperwork, Ishida scoffs at himself as he takes his phone out and taps the first number on his favourite list. There are only two numbers in there — _Kuchiki Rukia_ and _Karakura General Hospital_.

“Do something about it,” he mumbles as he listens to the ringtone. “And get rejected again?”

_“Uryuu?”_

Hearing her voice calling his name, Ishida has to clear his throat before he speaks. That’s all Kuchiki Rukia needs to do make his heart skip a beat. Tanaka is right. He’s got it bad, this time around. “Hey, you’re asleep?”

_“Yeah… short nap before patrolling. Everything all right?”_

“Just thought I’d call to ask how you’re doing with the fashion show. Haven’t seen much of you lately.”

_“Missing me, Dragon?”_

Rukia giggling in her sleep-addled voice is not doing him any good. “As a matter of fact, I am, Shinigami,” he huffs, causing her to laugh… music to his ears, really. She should learn to control her behaviour around him. Somebody should tell her to, anyway. _You’re going to lose her someday, if you don’t tell her…_

 _“Well, I am missing you, too, Ishida-_ sensei _. We should do something after all this crazy is over. Nichibotsu is letting me take the weekend off.”_

“Really? Then, I suppose I should take my two days off which is long overdue. What do you have in mind?”

Rukia groans, _“Right now, I can only think of sleeping in. But I’d like to reward myself with food and movies, at least.”_

“All of that sounds good to me. I’ll do the cooking,” Ishida offers.

_“Won’t you be tired? We could always get food delivery.”_

“I won’t be as tired as you. And you should go back to sleep. Sorry I disturbed you,” he says, although what he really wants to do is to keep talking to her.

_“It’s okay, Dragon. I haven’t heard your voice in a while.”_

Ishida swallows at that.

_“We’re like two strangers living under the same roof.”_

“You’re getting so dramatic, Shinigami,” Ishida chuckles. “Go to sleep. I hope I’ll see you before my shift tomorrow.”

 _“Good night, then,”_ Rukia yawns before she hangs up.

Ishida is left staring at his phone. He doesn’t know if he was imagining it but he thinks he heard her giving him a smooch over the line.

* * *

_I hung up the phone tonight_

_Something happened for the first time deep inside_

_It was a rush, what a rush_

_'Cause the possibility_

_That you would ever feel the same way about me_

_It's just too much, just too much_

* * *

WEDNESDAY, 25th December

He doesn’t have a lot of time between his shifts. It’s Wednesday night and he knows that around this time, he’ll be able to catch her at the _shoten_ before she goes out to patrol with that Kurosaki girl. Ever since she has started training the young _shinigami_ , Rukia would meet her at Urahara’s training ground before they both go out into the streets of Karakura.

Ishida never planned to drop by. But one of his patients died today: an eight-year-old child who has been suffering from childhood leukaemia since she was two. He watched her breathe her last this evening, right at the beginning of his shift. It was too much for him to take and he knew he needed to see Rukia. That is why he is here at Urahara’s underground training area — a place where he hasn’t been in many years, spying on the petite _shinigami_ as she dances across the ground in her _shikai_ form.

It is an amazing sight.

Kuchiki Rukia is the most graceful warrior he has ever known. She expresses her power through her fluid movements, like she is one with the air around her. And when she incorporates _shunpo_ into her pirouettes, it’s like watching her disappear and reappear between strips of organza in perfect choreography.

There is no way anyone could watch her dance and not be hypnotised by the twirls she makes that seem to set the direction for the wind go. There is no way anyone could watch her dance and not be mesmerised by the way her body moves with elegance. There is no way anyone could watch her dance and not fall in love with her.

 _But no one is worthy of this perfection that is Kuchiki Rukia,_ Ishida thinks solemnly. _Definitely not me._

Instead of making his presence known to her, he decides that watching her dance majestically is enough to make him feel better about himself. He doesn’t deserve her in his life and yet, here she is... being everything to him in so many ways. He doesn’t dare to stay a second longer after that.

Because he knows he will definitely tell her how he feels but tonight is not the night. Maybe another time. Or maybe not at all.

* * *

  _Why do I keep running from the truth?_

_All I ever think about is you_

_You got me hypnotised, so mesmerised_

_And I've just got to know_

* * *

THURSDAY, 26th December

Ishida pulls up outside the bar in time to see Rukia and the new guy lock up, and bid goodbye to each other. She turns around and is surprised at first to see him standing beside his car, but a wide smile is spread across her tired face as she skips over towards him.

“Fancy seeing you here, stranger.”

“Thought I’d give you a lift to Urahara’s tonight,” he tells her as they get into the car.

“Aren’t you in the middle of a shift?” she asks, buckling her seatbelt while eyeing him curiously.

He chuckles, “Yes, but I got Tanaka to cover for me for 20 minutes while I run an important errand.”

“I’m flattered you consider me your important errand, Dragon,” she says, playing along with that smile still in place.

If anybody had told him months ago that a smile could get you hooked to a person, he would’ve scoffed and asked if they were ‘stupid or something’. Right now, however, he is ‘stupid and nothing else’. So far gone is he that he doesn’t realise — _again_ — that he is staring at that smile and thinking that he couldn’t ask for more…

And that she is staring right back at him. After a while, she too, lets out a shaky laugh as she lifts her hand to his cheek. It lingers for a while before she gently nudges him to face forward with a, “Let’s go. Your 20 minutes is almost up.”

“Yeah,” he sighs, putting the car in gear to leave for Urahara’s _shoten_.

He supposes it’s a good thing that they are not together because he’d probably make this ‘running an important errand’ business a habit and that’s not very professional for a doctor like him. If Sugino Akihiro were to hear about this, he would definitely think twice about offering him that position at SUH. Then again, Ishida has already made up his mind about not taking it up.

At this point, even if nothing happens between them, he doesn’t think he can live a day without being around Kuchiki Rukia.

“I’ll drop you off at the fashion show tomorrow on my way to work,” he says as he stops his car in front of the _shoten_. “What time do you have to be there?”

“Quite early, actually, because I still need to work on the display of some of the costumes,” she replies. “But I’ve booked Sado to help me transport the dresses. He told me he just got himself a 4WD.”

“Okay,” he hums, a little disappointed that he will not be able to see her tomorrow. _We’ll be spending the entire weekend together. Why am I upset about not seeing her for one day?_

Rukia reaches out to squeeze his forearm. “I can get Sado to send the costumes in the morning so I can go with you in the afternoon. But I have to be there by 4.00 pm, Uryuu.”

“Sounds good,” he says, his breath catches when he hears his own name coming from her lips and _Kami_ … he absolutely wants to know what those lips feel like. “I’ll see you tomorrow, then.”

He gets back to the hospital with a notably improved mood from before, ignoring all thoughts of how he will ever survive when she leaves for good.

* * *

_Do you ever think when you're all alone_

_All that we can be, where this thing can go?_

_Am I crazy or falling in love?_

_Is it real or just another crush?_

_Do you catch a breath when I look at you?_

_Are you holding back like the way I do?_

_'Cause I'm trying and trying to walk away_

_But I know this crush ain't goin' away-ay-ay-ay-ayy_

_Goin' away-ay-ay-ay-ayy_

* * *

FRIDAY, 27th December

It turns out, Chad couldn’t transport Rukia’s dresses over that morning because his 4WD won’t be ready for a few days. But with his help, Ishida managed to get everything to the university before he came back to the apartment to pick her up.

When Rukia stepped out of her room in her pearl-white, sleeveless, silk top with a cowl neckline over a pair of fitting black slacks, Ishida found himself awestruck at how perfectly she pulled that elegant, yet official designer look.

And she’s only a first-year student. Not even human, on top of that.

He steals a glance at her, sitting beside him in the car, as they make their way to the university. Over her attire, she has on a single-button formal black coat that matches her pants. And those heels…

“Take a picture, Dragon. It’ll last longer,” she teases when she catches him staring at the traffic lights.

Ishida huffs. “I can’t even look?”

“You can. But it gets creepy when you do it so quietly and so frequently.”

“You look good, Rukia,” he says in a serious manner before tilting his lips into a smile. “Now, can I stare?”

Rukia rolls her eyes. “Thanks.”

“Are you nervous about the show?” Ishida decides to ask. Even if he could cover up his fumbles with something clever, it wouldn’t do to linger in the moment and make it awkward. The light turns green and he is thankful for the distraction.

“I am,” she replies. “Having to come up with all those designs when I’m not from around here. I don’t even know if they are suitable. They are only based on how I feel about them on my _gigai_.”

“I’m sure your lecturers have seen them. The designs would need to be approved before you could make them, right?”

Rukia nods in uncertainty. “I guess,” she murmurs, fidgeting with her fingers in her lap as she stares blankly at the road ahead.

“Hey…” Ishida reaches over to cover her hands with his. They are so small, he could wrap both her fists up with his long fingers. “You’re going to be fine. I’ve seen your designs. They’re not just suitable; they’re gorgeous. You have a great fashion sense. Don’t ever doubt that.”

Ishida parks his car beside the pavement in front of the university when they arrive, his hand firmly gripped in hers. When did she lace their fingers together?

“Thanks, Uryuu,” she says, a little distracted still.

At least that’s what he’s telling himself. Her thumb, drawing circles on the back of his hand while she’s resting her head on her other palm, looking at him or over his shoulder, he isn’t sure… doesn’t mean anything else, right?

When she tells him reluctantly that she should go, it dawns on Ishida that this past month, Rukia has been soldiering on the entire fashion show project without thinking about how she would do, but now, reality has finally set on her. She’s finally going to showcase her work — something that’s beyond what she’s familiar with in over a hundred years of her existence.

And he wasn’t really there with her. Isn’t that what he’s supposed to do? Like how Kurosaki used to accompany her all the time and get her accustomed to human life?

“Uryuu…” Rukia tugs at his hand and he realises that she has already opened her door but his hand is squeezing the life out of hers. “I have to go.”

“Wait…” he says, loosening his grip. “There’s a…”

At his stammering, Rukia settles herself back into the seat and gives him her full attention. “What is it?”

Ishida takes a moment to swallow before he continues. “The Ministry is having their annual New Year’s Eve dinner…”

“And you want me to go with you?” she asks, beating him to it — on purpose, obviously, judging by that teasing grin on her face.

“Yes,” he chuckles.

“Of course, I’ll go, Dragon. You know I wouldn’t let you go stag to something like that… unless Aoi- _san_ …”

“Rukia…” he stops her with a warning tone and a squeeze of her hand, causing her to let out a giggle.

“Fine, but I really have to go. See you tomorrow, Dragon.”

Ishida is stunned as he watches her leave his car. After a quick peck on his forehead, that is.

* * *

_Has it ever crossed your mind_

_When we're hanging, spending time girl, are we just friends?_

_Is there more, is there more?_

_See it's a chance we've gotta take_

_'Cause I believe that we can make this into something that will last_

_Last forever, forever_

* * *

SATURDAY, 28th December

“ _Anpan_?”

“Yes,” he huffs. “It’s either this or we starve, Shinigami. I’m too exhausted to cook. Maybe I’ll whip something up for you tomorrow.”

“I wasn’t complaining, Dragon,” Rukia snickers, smacking his arm with the back of her hand before she stuffs one of the red bean buns into her mouth.

Ishida has gone out to buy a dozen of those mini _anpan_ from a nearby street stall this morning. It’s almost noon and they should be having lunch but Rukia has just woken up. It must’ve been a long night for her after the fashion show event was finally over. He heard her coming in later than usual from her patrolling with the Kurosaki girl, mumbling something about the 12th Division spotting a lost soul somewhere in Karakura, before she dragged herself into her room.

“Chew your food properly or you’ll choke to death,” he chides, half-amused by how she is already popping another piece in her mouth when the other one is still in her cheek.

Rukia casts him a scowl as she swallows her food. “I _am_ Death. What are you blabbering about?” she scoffs when her mouth is finally empty. “These are good. Are we having anything for lunch? Or is this lunch?”

Ishida shrugs. “I was planning on cooking _ramen_. Easy food for today. I have a feeling neither of us is going to move from the couch, if we are even awake at all.”

“So presumptuous…”

“You’re the one who wanted to do food and movies all day.”

“I suppose you’re right. I’m fine with _ramen_ but maybe after a couple of movies. The _anpan_ is more than enough for now,” she shrugs as she tugs him towards the settee and collapses onto it in a manner so unlike the noble princess of the Kuchiki clan whom he has come to know.

Ishida manages to grab the bag of buns from the kitchen counter and dumps it in her lap while he fiddles with the remote control to play a random movie. As always, they begin arguing about the cast and the plot by the first quarter of the show, him letting her win one argument long enough to pick up another one. It goes on and on until they change to a new DVD where they start out quietly munching away before getting into a new round of bickering that does not make sense at all.

He knows he is having too much fun. This realisation hits him as he catches himself watching her eat the _ramen_ he cooked instead of the movie that is playing. It’s the third show of the day and it’s almost sundown. It dawns on him that he would probably give anything to be able to have her every day of his life but nothing he does will ever be enough to make that a possibility for them.

Rukia will leave someday and he will miss her desperately. It is something he has to accept even before that day comes.

“Are you all right, Uryuu?” she asks, placing her empty bowl next to his on the coffee table.

Caught staring at her again. Definitely a lost cause. “I’m fine,” he lies. “Just getting sleepy.”

Her violet orbs reveal that she knows he’s not telling the truth, but _he_ knows she will never point it out. Instead, after searching his eyes — her own looking hopeful for him to say something while at the same time expecting nothing, she drapes her legs over his lap and curls her arms around his torso. “Me, too,” she says, dropping her head on his chest before returning her attention to the screen.

* * *

_Do you ever think when you're all alone_

_All that we can be, where this thing can go?_

_Am I crazy or falling in love?_

_Is it real or just another crush?_

_Do you catch a breath when I look at you?_

_Are you holding back like the way I do?_

_'Cause I'm trying and trying to walk away_

_But I know this crush ain't goin' away-ay-ay-ay-ayy_

_Goin' away-ay-ay-ay-ayy_

* * *

SUNDAY, 29th December

“So yeah, the lost soul has a spiritual pressure similar to Tatsuki, Kojima, and Asano’s but their _reiatsu_ are already accounted for. It’s definitely not something that has been around and the 12th Division wants us to be prepared if it turns hostile towards any of the humans living around the area…”

Ishida finds it really hard to pay attention to her ramblings as he prepares dinner for them. Having his back to her isn’t helping much. He can still feel heat creeping up his ears every time a glimpse of the dream he had last night crosses his mind. It was too damn real. _She_ felt too damn real under his touch.

“Are you sure you don’t need help, Dragon?”

He hears the kitchen stool move under her and he is praying to _Kami_ above that she is not coming over for real. “I can handle this, Shinigami,” he tells her.

“But I’m restless.”

“I know you are, Most Promising Young Fashion Designer of Karakura,” he teases even as he wonders how he could come up with something like that while slicing onions _and_ trying to push his goddamned dream to the back of his head. “And I’m cooking my award-winning dish as a congratulatory gift for you.”

Rukia scoffs, “Award-winning, my arse…”

 _Please don’t talk about your arse!_ Ishida inwardly screams.

“I need something to do. Please give me something to do…”

“I thought you were tired,” he sighs, calms himself down, and finally turns around to face her. “Go pick out the movies for later, then.”

“Okay…” But instead of going to the living room, she takes a few steps towards him and raises her palm to his face. “Why are you so red?”

“Onions,” he gulps, slowly taking her hand away. “I need to get back to cooking or we will not have dinner tonight.” He is not lying. They will probably end up doing something they are both not ready for — right here by the sink, if she gets any closer.

Rukia nods, looking confused at first but a smile takes over in a second and she pinches his nose with a snigger before she skips out of the kitchen.

* * *

_Why do I keep running from the truth?_

_All I ever think about is you_

_You got me hypnotised, so mesmerised_

_And I've just got to know_

* * *

MONDAY, 30th December/TUESDAY, 31st December

Rukia does not have classes on the Monday after the fashion show. The lecturer has given them a few days off until the second day of the New Year.

Ishida, on the other hand, has to cover for a few colleagues who have gone back to their hometown for the long Christmas-New Year holidays, especially after he took two days off during the weekend. Going back to work back-to-back shifts is actually a good break for him. A good break away from Rukia, that is. At least until the gala tomorrow night… _Tonight_ , he corrects himself as he looks at his watch that shows it’s already 3.00 am on Tuesday morning. He’d be lying, though, if he says that dream has stopped haunting him. _Is it ever going to go away?_

Stepping into their apartment, he knows well enough that Rukia would be asleep after a night’s patrol with his younger cousin. He glances down the hallway and sees the door to her bedroom ajar. _Weird. She usually locks her door when she’s asleep,_ he thinks, daring himself to take a peek into her room.

It’s dark and apparently, she’s not in her bed. _Must be out patrolling still_ , he assures himself as he shuts her door and goes to his own room.

He has three hours to sleep before he has to head to work again. Regrettably, he won’t be able to personally take her to the gala tonight. Instead, he will meet her there after his shift. He sighs when he thinks about how his profession does not allow him free rein of his time for his personal life.

Ishida slips out of his jeans and polo shirt, and hangs them up neatly in his closet. He is glad he forced himself to take his usual shower at the hospital before coming home. He knew he would never make it to the bathroom, not when he is this tired from being on his feet for hours at the wards.

Lifting his comforter, he is about to get into his bed when he realises that it has already been occupied. Long, dark locks spread across both of his pillows as the owner sleeps with a soft snore, tucked snugly under the covers. _His_ covers.

 _This girl will be the death of me…_ he swears in his head, pulling the comforter up to cover her shoulders. She doesn’t even flinch.

Ishida gets his restless three-hour sleep on the couch that morning. And when he goes into his room to get his work clothes, Rukia hasn’t so much as turned over from her previous position, even though her feet have sneaked out from under the covers. He hesitates before tugging the comforter over her feet as he makes his way out of his room, not daring to turn back for fear of catching her awake.

* * *

_Do you ever think when you're all alone_

_All that we can be, where this thing can go?_

_Am I crazy or falling in love?_

_Is it real or just another crush?_

_Do you catch a breath when I look at you?_

_Are you holding back like the way I do?_

_'Cause I'm trying and trying to walk away_

_But I know this crush ain't goin' away-ay-ay-ay-ayy_

_This crush ain't goin' away-ay-ay-ay-ayy_

_Goin' away-ay-ay-ay-ayy_

_Goin' away-ay-ay-ay-ayy_

_Goin' away-ay-ay-ay-ayy_

* * *

“You’re giving me a lift to the dinner tonight, right?”

“Yes.”

“Is Kuchiki going to be there?”

“Yes.”

“Are you going to tell her how you feel?”

“Yes.”

“Brilliant!”

“What? No! Shut up. Go away, Tanaka! I’m busy.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Our King’s father passed away on 22 May. As a sign of solemn respect, all the radio stations played slower, older songs for 24 hours. David Archuleta’s Crush came up while I was driving and I couldn’t help but think of Ishida in this fic. Hope you like it. Love reading all your reviews; some of which clearly show how attuned you are to where this story is heading. *winks* Great job!


End file.
